Travel trends

There are two ways to get to Machu Picchu.  You can hike in via the Inca Trail – a four day journey over rugged Andean terrain, adored by trekkers worldwide as a mystical “must do” journey.  Or, if you’re a bit doughy in the middle, you can take the train from Ollantaytambo to Agua Caliente, and then hop a bus up the narrow switchbacks that bring you to the entry to the lost city.

i took the train*.

Since the 1990’s, when controversial President Alberto Fujimori used effective, yet strong-armed, tactics to stabilize the economy, build infrastructure and eradicate gang violence and terrorism within Peru, tourism has become a significant part of the Peruvian economy.  About a decade later, there are still growing pains** evident as the country adapts to a new paradigm – and welcomes the world into their happy place in the Andes.

Our guide, Luis, is a recent graduate of a university tourism program in Cuzco — and he’s delightful!  Slamming the Catholic church, Spanish imperialists and his own failed government, we are definitely getting a ‘citizens-eye view’ of modern Peruvian culture.  After six hours hiking through Machu Picchu yesterday, we boarded the train back to Ollantaytampo.  And Luis, prone to bad jokes***, told us that we were in for quite a treat!  An on board fashion show.  My seatmate and i shrugged this off, and settled in to decompress from the hike…

After the on-board services crew passed through our coach with drinks**** and snacks, we were surprised when a man in an elaborate Incan costume skittered down the aisle, holding a puppet, and twirling a leather strap over his head.  This continued, and tribal music played over the coach speakers.  The character – doing some sort of ritualistic dance – would alternately choke and stroke the llama puppet.  Never really got what the theme of the dance was, but it was impressive that he could do it in the aisle of a relatively narrow train coach.

Following polite, but confused, applause from the captive audience, he then slunk along the aisle, holding out a purse for tips.  A few coins, a few photo ops, and he disappeared. 

From the speakers began the unmistakable strains of “Dancing Queen” – and we were told that our on-board services crew would be modeling native Peruvian clothing items, which would be for sale after the fashion show.  i shit you not…. the two gorgeous coach stewards (Jorge and Maria) proceeded to mince down the aisle, wearing scarves, sweaters, shawls and other alpaca products.  A sweater worn by Jorge even had a neon green “30%” off tag on the back! 

Invariably the items on the cart were a overpriced, but sales occurred.  The “character” – who kept his mask on for most of the fashion show – had stayed in the front of the coach and assisted Maria and Jorge with their “costume changes”.  He was also responsible for folding the clothing items, and preparing the sales cart during the show.  Given the youth and exuberance of our “cast”, it seemed a bit like a group of high school kids putting on a show to raise money***** for their youth group!

i just can’t wait until the airlines get ahold of this concept… yet another means to stave off bankruptcy!

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* This time.  Although the climbing around within Machu Picchu was pretty challenging, and my ass was kicked after 6 hours of moderately strenuous hiking, i’d like to put the Inca Trail on my “would like to do” list.  If i had such a list.  i’d have to train for it, however, as my doughy ass – carrying a pack – would be collapsed in a quivering puddle after one day on the trail….

** A key infrastructure upgrade that seems to be on the back burner relates to plumbing and sewer management.  In Peru, if you can find a toilet with paper (not a problem in cities, and tourist areas), you are expected to put the used paper in a nearby trash can as the pipes have a pesky tendency to clog with just the slightest perturbation.  i’m pretty rugged, but am finding this practice a bit unnerving…

*** He likes to tell us that he’s lost, or our hotel burned down, or they’ve lost our luggage or reservations.  As i said, he’s an absolute delight!  Unfortunately a bit too big to put into my luggage….

**** Me likes me some Inca Cola!  Atomic yellow in color, the locals swill this stuff like water.  Tastes like Lemon Cream Soda to me…

***** Except this was all being done by the National Rail Service, Perurail.  Which – according to our cynical guide, Luis – has a monopoly on rail service, is non-responsive to the people, and could care less about improving services to enhance tourism.

Define “Impoverished”

There are 13 people in our small group exploring Peru and Ecuador for the next two weeks.  Given the moderately rugged nature of this excursion, as well as the expense, it’s no stretch to say that we’re all middle-aged yuppies with disposable income. 

Arriving in Cuzco from Lima, we hopped a van for Yucay – the heart of Incan culture in a fertile region known as the Sacred Valley.  Leaving the bustle of Cuzco, our surroundings became increasingly rural.  Homes made of red clay bricks.  Donkeys and cows tethered in front yards… Free range mutts in every doorway, or buried head-first in trash cans.  Several people commented on the poverty, the poor standard of living… windowless homes – perhaps vacant – would surprise us with a rope full of brightly colored clothing drying on the side.  Villages lacking modern convenience or creature comfort. 

After a day in the Sacred Valley, it’s clear that the people of this region are not impoverished.  After breakfast, i wandered outside following the sounds of drums.  Across from the hotel is a field – and this morning it was full of primary school students in uniform.   Maybe a hundred of them.  Some drumming, some playing Andean flutes. 

Along the sides of the field, the younger children danced to the drum beat.  In the center?  The young men danced, and performed what i later learned were traditional Incan dances.  This was gym class.  i watched for almost an hour – mesmerized.  There were coaches, or teachers, keeping order.  Small boys came out with metal hoops and the older boys dove through, executing front rolls on the grass.  The crowd pleasers were the “rugby scrum” and the tug of war.  Sheer joy.  Perfect simplicity. 

En route to Ollantaytampo to visit an Incan fortress, we stopped at a farmers market in Urubamba.  Unlike Asian markets i’ve visited, it was vibrant without being chaotic.  Vegetables – perhaps 20 different kinds of potatoes – fruits, beans, corn of all shapes, sizes and colors. 

We saw farmers working their fields with oxen pulling log plows – in one case, a small boy was riding the plow to provide weight.  Steep mountainsides, green with terraced agriculture. 

Our local guide was most proud of the farmers market.  His words “We’re not poor.  Look at all this food!  Unlike the deserts in Africa, we have resources”.  Clearly, these folks don’t really give a damn about what’s happing with this pesky global economic meltdown.  Why would they care about the price of oil?  They don’t need it to live.  No windows?  No problem – the climate is beautiful and temperate.  They make their own mud bricks – and if they need a bigger house?  They build it.  Debt?  Not an issue.  They barter for much of what they need. 

Is this poverty?  Hardly…

Lost dog…

While still in the Lima airport, i received an update from my niece on how my canine life partner dog Mr. Pickles was doing in his new environment.  It’s pretty much what i expected – and that’s a good thing!

Here he is bonding with his human cousins.  That’s DQ, Jr and DQ, III on dog-back.

And here he is bonding with one of his canine cousins.  Of course, he’s neutered…

But to me – most frightening of all – getting tons of wonderful attention.  My Little Brown Hole of Need will never want to come home again… but he’s happy… and with BJ off work with the back injury, i suspect he’ll be getting lots of attention.

Where in the world…

With serendipitous alignment of the travel gods, i find myself poolside at my sister’s lovely house in Miami. Because I’m a frugal traveler from time to time, i booked really cheap flights to get to Miami for my outbound flight to Lima, Peru around midnight tonight The downside to a $230 round trip air fare is that you go when the seat is available — which was 6 am this morning, getting me to the Miami Third World International Airport at 10:30 am. Leaving me with over 12 hours to kill…

The upside to having a sister in Miami? See my opening line… Her partner works from home, and despite my horrible short notice (Saturday) that I’d be in town for a few hours, she agreed to retrieve me from the airport to chill at the Miami crib. She’s got work to do, and i’m a big fan of staying out of the way when crashing in on people unexpectedly, so life is good

Some random neural firings as i FINALLY have a few moments to consider the forces that brought me here…

– i can pack for a two week international trip in about 4 hours. Only one hour was spent on clothing and toiletries. The other three? Electronics, camera, chargers, music, headphones… i am carrying a backpack loaded with enough semiconductors, resistors, wiring and printed circuit boards to open my own Silicon Valley chop shop.

– i still have no idea where the fuck i’m going. OK. The big picture? Sure. Flying into Lima, then on to Cuzco (heart of the Incan civilization). From there? i dunno. Knocking around Peru for about six days, then flying to Quito, Ecuador (i think) to somehow get on a tiny ship that will haul my confused ass around the Galapagos for three days. And i’m flying home on the 20th. i think i get back to Miami on the 19th, but i’m really not clear on this…

– i’m spending 12 days in close quarters with a man i barely know.  hope he’s tough… this could get ugly…

– Free floating anxiety last night jacked my attempt to get 4 hours sleep. See two previous items above. i seem to have completely abdicated control and awareness for this trip to my travel mates. They said “get to Miami” and i said “OK”. Up until yesterday, that had been the extent of my travel preparations.

– Driving back from The Park yesterday, i stooped at a Geek-A-Rific Super Store and bought a very juicy-hot camera. Canon Elph or something. It’s blue. The thing I like best? i can put it in my bra. It’s that small! Since I’m used to having my cell phone there, it’ll be comforting to feel the cool chill of electronics against my breast…

– Although i got distracted with that whole moving house thing and didn’t make arrangements to sneak in SCUBA on this trip, i learned from one of my travel mates that the snorkeling in the Galapagos is pretty amazing. Apparently the sea lions are friendly and playful, and will blow bubbles in your face. If i get Sea Lion Loogie on my mask, that one will end up on the Flickr site for sure…

– i really don’t remember what i was thinking six months ago when i decided to do this. My travel style is very much like hitchhiking to nowhere in particular. Things pop up (Iceland two years ago, Spain last summer) and i just say “cool”. And i buy tickets and go. Maybe i should put more thought into these things. But hey… i’m all in at this point. Hope i packed enough underwear gear.

Better dig out my Lonely Planet guides and see if i can locate my itinerary. Would probably be good to have some idea of where I’m going before i get on a plane tonight. Then again, i’ve always enjoyed surprises. Maybe i’ll just take a nap while the breeze is so nice here…

Elvis is in the building… unfortunately.

One of the coolest things about working with community theater types is that “Can Do” attitude.  You know – “hey, everybody!  let’s turn that old grocery store* into a theater!  we can put on a show!”  OK.  “Can Do” with a super-sized side order of drama, whining and lack of organizational skills…

Such was my Saturday night.

There is a local Elvis tribute artist and bank vice president impersonator who offered to do a benefit event if we’d split the profits.  We did one of these in January, it sold out, and we made a few hundred dollars for running ticket sales, having ushers, doing lights and sound for one evening.

When he asked again?  Our Community Theater Prez said “sure”, and was working logistics.  Seemed to be pretty well taken care of, so none of us were paying much attention.  What we didn’t know?  Theater Prez was going to be out of town for the event.  Oops.  Didn’t find that out til Wednesday, so we had to scramble to get the event covered.

My amazing friend DK – who is the utility infielder, relief pitcher, designated hitter and savior of all things fucked up – pulled a box-office miracle, and re-set seating on the fly while dealing with a nearly sold out show.  i offered to usher.  “Elvis” brought his own sound system and staff, since we apparently screwed it up last time.  Lights?  Hmmm…

Our available light tech has extensive experience running the light board.  She’s 12 years old.  Her Mom asked if i would be able to work with her to identify “fast” or “slow” songs.  She’s bright, for sure, but at the ripe ol’ age of 12, she doesn’t know Elvis’ music and needed to know which light settings to use.

My plan was to usher, do the introduction, and run away**.  But we also needed someone to run spotlight.  So, in classic “Waiting for Guffman”*** style, i served as usher, did the curtain speech/introduction, then raced back to the tech booth to cue the little light goddess while chasing Elvis’ pleather-clad ass all over the stage with a spotlight.

Upon further consideration?  i should have just donated the damn $500 we made from the show…

* That’s exactly what we did.  The facility we are using – shared with the senior citizens center – was once a grocery store.  Our stage sits where the Produce section used to be…  “Lettuce” entertain you?

** Final exam for my professional development course was today – and i had to study all weekend.  Wanted to get home to keep studying, rather than listen to an Elvis.   Oh – I PASSED WITH A 92% !  Hot Fucking Damn!

*** From the people who brought us “Spinal Tap” and “A Mighty Wind”, there is the lesser known “Waiting for Guffman”, which rips small town theater people.  My favorite scene is a shot of the “orchestra pit”, where the drummer is also playing trumpet with one hand…  But there’s also this…

Slacker tactics

With my personal life in overdrive for the past few months, i’ve been a bit distracted in the office.  Buying property, getting my old house prepared as a rental property, and moving – not to mention the requisite “party time” – has interfered with what used to be long days in the office.

And this is a good thing…

Yesterday, i was on the hook for a 2:00 PM presentation on “Future System Requirements” to a group of clueless geeks researchers.  This has been on my calendar for two weeks.  Being in full-blown procrastination mode, i planned to work on it that morning… knowing i could pull off a rectal extraction on the topic in about two hours! 

But it was not to be… Due to an unexpected, and delightful, opportunity to spend a little time with a friend*, i took an early lunch hour**, and for some reason, the afternoon presentation was about the last thing on my mind.  Returning to the office around 11:00 am, i realized that it was FRIDAY, and i was on the hook for my weekly two hour professional studies seminar.  Since i’m taking the final test MONDAY, bail out was not an option… Yikes…

Finishing the seminar, i scrambled back to my office, and spent an entire fifteen minutes whacking together a few charts that could tell a basic story.  Confident with the general subject matter, i’ve tap danced in front of more difficult audiences, on more difficult subjects, so i knew i could pull it out of my ass and it wouldn’t be terrible.

Arriving at the other building for the presentation, i encountered a researcher wandering aimlessly through the hallway***, and i asked where the meeting was to be held. 

wandering scientist:  “It was cancelled!  Didn’t JB copy you on the e-mail?”

daisyfae: “you’re shitting me?”

Naturally, i wandered into JB’s office asking about the meeting – and got an “Oh, SHIT!  I forgot to copy you on the cancellation notice!”.  Gently barked at him about “time management” and “communications breakdown being more damaging when we’re all overloaded”.  Even threw in a “look, you need to rescheule this ASAP since i’m gone for two weeks, buddy…”. 

Snarling just a bit, i left his office, heading back to my own… and rather than use the unanticipated hour to work ahead on the next looming “deadline”?  i grabbed a cup of coffee and cleaned out my e-mail folders… i mean, it was Friday afternoon and all…

All that theater training sure comes in handy sometimes.

* yes.  it was EXACTLY what you’re thinking…

** hour or two… but who’s counting?

*** they tend to do this.  if i were still supervising, i’d have RFID chips embedded in their ears for tracking purposes.  maybe with a “shock collar” function just for giggles…

Going to the dogs….

In less than a week i leave for an 11 day trip to South America*.  i’m starting to get excited about the adventure.  Unfortunately, i’m also pretty overwhelmed with all of the things that must be done before i hop on a plane…

The biggest challenge, of course, is what to do with the “Brown Hole of Need”** – also known as my 100 lb chocolate lab… For short trips, i use a charming pet sitter.  She brings her dog along for “Play Dates”, plays with him and keeps him company!  When i return i always find him happy, healthy and slobbery – rather than emaciated, mute and showing far too much skin after he’d stay in the kennel…

When my niece’s husband, BJ, made his last SuperHero visit to rebuild parts of my house, he offered to take care of Pickles if i ever needed to find him a home.  Got me thinking.***  Asking the obvious question, i learned that they would be quite happy to pet sit while i’m out of the country!  They have two small dogs, two cats… and at the moment, with BJ off work due to that pesky broken back, they’re all home full time.  No shortage of company for my attention-whore dog.

Two weeks ago, on a run to The Park to take Mom out for her birthday, i brought Mr. Pickles along for a “test run” to see how he got along with their critters.  Leaving Pickles at their house, i went off to spend the day with Mom.  BJ asked if it would be ok if the dog drank from the toilet – since keeping water bowls on the kitchen floor makes the tile too slippery. 

OK.  The dog licks his own ass and eats poo, so how much worse can toilet water be?

Returning several hours later, i walked in on a beautiful tableau!  DQ on the computer, shopping for bargains on eBay.  BJ, in full back brace, resting on the couch with a cat curled up on his chest.  The Baby wheeling about happily in her walker.  And Mr. Pickles, lying subserviently on the floor.  The 9 month old Shar Pei puppy joyfully humping his ass, and the sproingy Miniature Pinscher skull-fucking him with fierce determination…  Did i mention that these are two female dogs?

Assured that he’ll get along just fine with the Trailer Park hounds, i decided at that moment that i would be a terrible “doggie mommy” if i didn’t allow my pup to spend some quality time with his “cousins” while i’m gone! 

It makes me wonder what i’m going to find when i return to pick him up.  Scary visual of a morbidly overweight, partially toothless brown hound dog sleeping on the porch… barely raising his head to lazily look at me… as if to say “What are you lookin’ at, shithead?”

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* i’ll be sharing close quarters with a man i barely know, but M is delightful!  Damn the cancer, full speed ahead!  As unprepared and excited as i am about the trip ahead, he is over-prepared and more excited!  Trying Peruvian cuisine locally, shopping for durable, washable travel gear… he’s just glowing on the eve of adventure…

** Like a “Black Hole of Need”.  Only brown… and furry…

*** Usually quite dangerous…