Going to the dogs….

In less than a week i leave for an 11 day trip to South America*.  i’m starting to get excited about the adventure.  Unfortunately, i’m also pretty overwhelmed with all of the things that must be done before i hop on a plane…

The biggest challenge, of course, is what to do with the “Brown Hole of Need”** – also known as my 100 lb chocolate lab… For short trips, i use a charming pet sitter.  She brings her dog along for “Play Dates”, plays with him and keeps him company!  When i return i always find him happy, healthy and slobbery – rather than emaciated, mute and showing far too much skin after he’d stay in the kennel…

When my niece’s husband, BJ, made his last SuperHero visit to rebuild parts of my house, he offered to take care of Pickles if i ever needed to find him a home.  Got me thinking.***  Asking the obvious question, i learned that they would be quite happy to pet sit while i’m out of the country!  They have two small dogs, two cats… and at the moment, with BJ off work due to that pesky broken back, they’re all home full time.  No shortage of company for my attention-whore dog.

Two weeks ago, on a run to The Park to take Mom out for her birthday, i brought Mr. Pickles along for a “test run” to see how he got along with their critters.  Leaving Pickles at their house, i went off to spend the day with Mom.  BJ asked if it would be ok if the dog drank from the toilet – since keeping water bowls on the kitchen floor makes the tile too slippery. 

OK.  The dog licks his own ass and eats poo, so how much worse can toilet water be?

Returning several hours later, i walked in on a beautiful tableau!  DQ on the computer, shopping for bargains on eBay.  BJ, in full back brace, resting on the couch with a cat curled up on his chest.  The Baby wheeling about happily in her walker.  And Mr. Pickles, lying subserviently on the floor.  The 9 month old Shar Pei puppy joyfully humping his ass, and the sproingy Miniature Pinscher skull-fucking him with fierce determination…  Did i mention that these are two female dogs?

Assured that he’ll get along just fine with the Trailer Park hounds, i decided at that moment that i would be a terrible “doggie mommy” if i didn’t allow my pup to spend some quality time with his “cousins” while i’m gone! 

It makes me wonder what i’m going to find when i return to pick him up.  Scary visual of a morbidly overweight, partially toothless brown hound dog sleeping on the porch… barely raising his head to lazily look at me… as if to say “What are you lookin’ at, shithead?”


* i’ll be sharing close quarters with a man i barely know, but M is delightful!  Damn the cancer, full speed ahead!  As unprepared and excited as i am about the trip ahead, he is over-prepared and more excited!  Trying Peruvian cuisine locally, shopping for durable, washable travel gear… he’s just glowing on the eve of adventure…

** Like a “Black Hole of Need”.  Only brown… and furry…

*** Usually quite dangerous…

14 thoughts on “Going to the dogs….

  1. so who gets to keep the progeny of this skull fucking? yeah, i know… biologically impossible. but that would be just the luck you would have that there’d be that “Weekly World News” headliner… little Shar Pickles? Pinschradors?

  2. Heck, maybe your “man-dog” will be able to convert the his lesbian cousins! I bet by the time you get home your new “name” will be “Granny-Dog”.

    Now for some helpful flying tips. Dress in layers… as many as possible. You have to pay for each bag now but nothing says you can’t wear six change of clothes at one time! 😉

  3. I envy you the trip, my wanderlust is drooling. Don’t envy the prep time, however. Glad to hear that Mr. Pickles will be somewhere where he can have quality interactions. Not to mention cold, ever-fresh toilet bowl water. And the picture of those dogs is precious.

  4. Gorgeous dog! I’m not allowed to have a dog anymore. I was at a revue bar not so long ago and the same thing that happened to him happened to me! Bloody hussies! Who’s the orthodontist? South America… planning a trip to Argentina next year. Will be great to hear your thoughts.

  5. If you get into trouble down there, mention my name; I’m revered as a God in South America. Me and Chalchiuhtotoliq are like twins in the Pantheon.

  6. unbearable banishment – of course… i’m a Geekimus Maximus, and have an adorable travel PC that fits down the front of my pants. The kennel is fine, but my dog is quirky. I believe bob referred to his kitty kennel as “Meow-schwitz”. This would be a case of “Bow-wow-schwitz”…

    squirrel queen – the duality of my trailer park nature comes through loud and clear. so very glad to have folks in my family that also sleep with smelly hound dogs…

    gnu kid – *snort* if my mutt (primarily male, mind you) gets knocked up by two female yappers then we’ll all be rich from selling the story to the tabloids. seriously, can you get more than a headache from skull fuckery?

    mssc54 – “lesbian cousins”? hadn’t thought of it in those terms… suspect their owners would be disappointed… like the layered idea! i’ll be sure to have my bathing suit on at the very bottom, so that when i strip down at the security checkpoint i’ll be fashionable!

    silverstar – i’m a lucky puppy. going to pick up a new camera and hope to post pics from the road (camera i bought before the last trip was a piece of shit…). no idea where the puppy pic came from, but i love it!

    nm – he’s so excited! like a little kid on christmas eve! we’re going to have a blast! snorkeling with the sea lions in the Galapagos? yee-HAW! if i can figure out a way to arrange it, i’m going to try to SCUBA with the whale sharks…

    vapour – “hussies”. that’s what i’ll call his cousins… lesbian hussies! i’m going to Ecuador/Peru (Machu Picchu & Galapagos). Will get some pics up either during/after the trip!

    uk – is that because you can rip the beating heart out of a human chest or because you are [ahem] gifted? enquiring minds want to know…

    alex – Isn’t that every male animals dream?

  7. silverstar – the Canon that i have is just broken. need to get it shipped back for repair, but didn’t have time before this trip. it’s kinda big and clunky, too. going with a small “point and shoot” that will fit in a pocket instead…

  8. Pingback: Lost dog… « Trailer Park Refugee

  9. Pingback: Repatriating Mr. Pickles « Trailer Park Refugee

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