i’ve been gone for more of the month of December than i’ve been home. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s left me a bit more disorganized than usual. Re-entry is a balance of art and science, and i needed to hit it hard to stay on track.
i’m pretty efficient when it comes to travel – including take offs and landings. Arriving home around 10pm Monday night, i was able to dump the contents of two suitcases, play with the critters, and do preliminary triage on a large stack of mail waiting for me on the table — and get myself to bed by 11pm. Re-entry should be a fast, surgical strike to allow the rapid return to normal schedules and routines!
Amongst the shrapnel awaiting me? Three “Missed Delivery” tags from FedEx. Whatever was being delivered required a signature. Hmmm… Hadn’t ordered anything lately, so i was pretty curious about what could be in the package. If it requires a signature? That usually means wine!
Did my darling sister in Florida send me an unexpected Christmas gift?
Back at work on Tuesday, i hit the gym with Studley. In the spirit of making the re-entry process quick and efficient, i suggested that we could grab lunch at a sushi place south of town afterwards – and swing by the FedEx distribution center to find out the contents of the mystery package.
FedEx Woman #1: Hi! What can I do for you today?
daisyfae: i’m here to pick up a package – hoping my dear sister in Florida shipped her little sis some alcohol for Christmas!
FedEx Woman #1: Well, that’s a good sister!
daisyfae: Yes! At the moment, we love her very much!
As the clerk went back to extract the box from the warehouse, the second clerk asked Studley if she could help him.
Studley: No, I’m just here as her Package Sherpa – to do the heavy lifting!
FedEx Woman #2: Well, where’s your umbrella? Didn’t you notice it’s raining out there?
daisyfae: Ha! She’s right! All the other Sherpas bring umbrellas. Sherpa FAIL!
As we were horsing around with FedEx Woman #2, FedEx Woman #1 returns with the box.
FedEx Woman #1: This isn’t really all that heavy. Pretty sure there’s no wine in there…
daisyfae [checking label]: Well damn. i wonder what the hell she sent?
As i checked the return address, it was from some designer label store in Oregon. Didn’t recognize it. And then noticed something else.
daisyfae: Oh, shit! This isn’t even for me! It’s addressed to the people who used to live in my condo! Crap!
FedEx Woman #1: Well I guess we’re not loving our sister so much anymore!
image found here