Slacker tactics

With my personal life in overdrive for the past few months, i’ve been a bit distracted in the office.  Buying property, getting my old house prepared as a rental property, and moving – not to mention the requisite “party time” – has interfered with what used to be long days in the office.

And this is a good thing…

Yesterday, i was on the hook for a 2:00 PM presentation on “Future System Requirements” to a group of clueless geeks researchers.  This has been on my calendar for two weeks.  Being in full-blown procrastination mode, i planned to work on it that morning… knowing i could pull off a rectal extraction on the topic in about two hours! 

But it was not to be… Due to an unexpected, and delightful, opportunity to spend a little time with a friend*, i took an early lunch hour**, and for some reason, the afternoon presentation was about the last thing on my mind.  Returning to the office around 11:00 am, i realized that it was FRIDAY, and i was on the hook for my weekly two hour professional studies seminar.  Since i’m taking the final test MONDAY, bail out was not an option… Yikes…

Finishing the seminar, i scrambled back to my office, and spent an entire fifteen minutes whacking together a few charts that could tell a basic story.  Confident with the general subject matter, i’ve tap danced in front of more difficult audiences, on more difficult subjects, so i knew i could pull it out of my ass and it wouldn’t be terrible.

Arriving at the other building for the presentation, i encountered a researcher wandering aimlessly through the hallway***, and i asked where the meeting was to be held. 

wandering scientist:  “It was cancelled!  Didn’t JB copy you on the e-mail?”

daisyfae: “you’re shitting me?”

Naturally, i wandered into JB’s office asking about the meeting – and got an “Oh, SHIT!  I forgot to copy you on the cancellation notice!”.  Gently barked at him about “time management” and “communications breakdown being more damaging when we’re all overloaded”.  Even threw in a “look, you need to rescheule this ASAP since i’m gone for two weeks, buddy…”. 

Snarling just a bit, i left his office, heading back to my own… and rather than use the unanticipated hour to work ahead on the next looming “deadline”?  i grabbed a cup of coffee and cleaned out my e-mail folders… i mean, it was Friday afternoon and all…

All that theater training sure comes in handy sometimes.

Even Einstein needed to fuck off sometimes

* yes.  it was EXACTLY what you’re thinking…

** hour or two… but who’s counting?

*** they tend to do this.  if i were still supervising, i’d have RFID chips embedded in their ears for tracking purposes.  maybe with a “shock collar” function just for giggles…

11 thoughts on “Slacker tactics

  1. Yeah. Even though we’re in the demographic that will never be offered an incentive to retire early (which sucks royal dick), at least there’s some up side in that we can copulate the canine at will and still manage to look like we’re better than average performers. Throw in “banker’s hours” and I really don’t have anything to complain about (except disinterest and rampant boredom!)

  2. Well, I certainly wish someone had steered me to engineering instead of nursing when I was younger. My lot was usually over-time, with no lunch break. It’s why I’m older than my years.
    I used to do the procrastination thing, too. I was good at it. Yes, I could pull out anything at the last minute and make it look good. Now I just procrastinate on the housekeeping.

  3. unbearable banishment – if they had any idea how i’d spent my morning, they’d have been hospitalized with stroke/heart attack symptoms 🙂

    rob – “copulate the canine” is Canadian for “screw the pooch”, right? certainly don’t think you’re disparaging my companion! for the most part, i still love the general job, it’s just the mundane stuff that eats my damn brain cells… haven’t started the retirement countdown yet – but within 7-10 years i’ll be tending bar…

    silverstar – there are times when my job is extremely high stakes/high stress. moments of near terror as we try to pull miracles from the ether… but they are (fortunately) rare. i worked insane hours for most of my career, and it was the bout with medical issues over the past few years that cured me of nights/weekends. i still work from home, but at least i’m in my jammies, listening to good tunes and getting my toes licked by a slobbery dog…

  4. Suits love throwing meetings and watching all the little ppl dance.

    And they love even more being able to cancel the meeting, because they think that makes the little ppl love them.

    We little ppl know better.

  5. umdalum – technically, it was a “niner”… not usually amenable to morning festivities, unless properly motivated… 🙂

    rob – yes, in fact. like it a bunch and may swipe it! i get in trouble sometimes for the saltiness of my language, so this is a gentler approach!

    alex – i dont bake, but i do fight ninjas… and i think i lost this round!

    nm – one of my favorites! harder to find than the one where he’s sticking his tongue out!

    gullybogan – there’s always the “suit” factor… which (in fact) is part of what happened here… “suit” isn’t a research guy… although he’s usually much better about this sort of thing!

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