i’ve been gone for more of the month of December than i’ve been home. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s left me a bit more disorganized than usual. Re-entry is a balance of art and science, and i needed to hit it hard to stay on track.
i’m pretty efficient when it comes to travel – including take offs and landings. Arriving home around 10pm Monday night, i was able to dump the contents of two suitcases, play with the critters, and do preliminary triage on a large stack of mail waiting for me on the table — and get myself to bed by 11pm. Re-entry should be a fast, surgical strike to allow the rapid return to normal schedules and routines!
Amongst the shrapnel awaiting me? Three “Missed Delivery” tags from FedEx. Whatever was being delivered required a signature. Hmmm… Hadn’t ordered anything lately, so i was pretty curious about what could be in the package. If it requires a signature? That usually means wine!
Did my darling sister in Florida send me an unexpected Christmas gift?
Back at work on Tuesday, i hit the gym with Studley. In the spirit of making the re-entry process quick and efficient, i suggested that we could grab lunch at a sushi place south of town afterwards – and swing by the FedEx distribution center to find out the contents of the mystery package.
FedEx Woman #1: Hi! What can I do for you today?
daisyfae: i’m here to pick up a package – hoping my dear sister in Florida shipped her little sis some alcohol for Christmas!
FedEx Woman #1: Well, that’s a good sister!
daisyfae: Yes! At the moment, we love her very much!
As the clerk went back to extract the box from the warehouse, the second clerk asked Studley if she could help him.
Studley: No, I’m just here as her Package Sherpa – to do the heavy lifting!
FedEx Woman #2: Well, where’s your umbrella? Didn’t you notice it’s raining out there?
daisyfae: Ha! She’s right! All the other Sherpas bring umbrellas. Sherpa FAIL!
As we were horsing around with FedEx Woman #2, FedEx Woman #1 returns with the box.
FedEx Woman #1: This isn’t really all that heavy. Pretty sure there’s no wine in there…
daisyfae [checking label]: Well damn. i wonder what the hell she sent?
As i checked the return address, it was from some designer label store in Oregon. Didn’t recognize it. And then noticed something else.
daisyfae: Oh, shit! This isn’t even for me! It’s addressed to the people who used to live in my condo! Crap!
FedEx Woman #1: Well I guess we’re not loving our sister so much anymore!
image found here
Designer, Oregon??? Sounds like drugs to me.
or a fedora and some ironic facial hair?
LOL love the fedex girlies! happy new year, sugarplum! xoxoxoxo
they seemed to be enjoying the post-Christmas lull…
Sheesh. After such a build up, it must have been a big let down to find out it wasn’t even for you! At least you had some fun with the fedex kids.
actually, i was sort of relieved that she hadn’t sent anything. i’m pretty happy with the complete truce our family has reached regarding gifts for christmas.
Hmm. something to be said for that. We have a truce, people send stuff if they want to. I usually make something tasty during the year. last year I sent out pickles, especially sweet gherkins (from the garden). This year I did plum butter. I don’t care if people send stuff back… shipping has started to become pretty outlandish, though.
if i do anything? i bake. love the idea of sharing from the garden, though! i’ve got a soft spot for sweet pickles!
Plum butter? That sounds delicious HMH
“preliminary triage on a large stack of mail” – nice turn of phrase – that’s exactly what I do when we get back from being away.
three stacks – obvious junk mail (straight to recycling bin), junk mail that might need reading (ie: credit card pre-approvals that need to be shredded before recycling) and bills. this time? a fourth stack for christmas cards… would love to have a stack for “incoming checks”, but that’s never happened…
When we got back from our vacation it took me over an hour to go through the mail. And most of it was junk that went straight into the recycling.
We even received a check — from a settlement of a class action suit against a credit card company that was gouging on the foreign exchange fees.
took me 15 minutes to sort into 4 stacks. another 15 minutes the next day to open and organize the bills. but sadly, no checks! you were far luckier!
And wasting time (a valuable resource) to pick up a package which isn’t even yours just sucks.
but the sushi (and my companion) was delicious!
Double Surprise Package sounds like a porn. Disappointments all around.
The notices from FedEx weren’t posted on my back door…
*chuckle*
It’s the thought that counts: affectionate sisterwards thoughts, despite their iminent collapse! Welcome home from your travels.
again, it was with a bit of relief. i prefer to avoid christmas gifting rituals… i had an amazing trip, but it’s good to be home, in my bed, fighting for blankets with my animals again.
You just missed out on a terrific Pendleton blanket. Either that, or an old rancid beaver hat.
The previous owner of my condo was the CEO for a medium sized corporation (this was his local place – he had houses in colorado and florida). i suspect it was not rancid beaver in that box. Sadly? i’ll never know…
If it’s from Oregon, chances are it’s something made of hemp, by hippies in Eugene…hmmm
Based on the fact that i’m still getting mail for these folks from a shitload of concervative politicians, i’m guessing it wasn’t hemp-based hippie products. it’s a shame i didn’t have a chance to accidently open the box before sending it back…