During the workday, i’m mostly on the move through a large building complex, spending much of my day on roving patrol, going from meeting to meeting. i don’t carry a briefcase, and often won’t even have a pad of paper for notes, instead jotting memos directly into my blackberry to provide an electronic reminder of promises made…
On days when i’m not wearing slacks, or a blazer, i find myself without pockets. Today was such a day… With back to back meetings being held at opposite ends of the complex – perhaps a half mile apart – i had strategically planned to stop at the cafeteria to snag a quick lunch en route.
Without pockets, or a notebook, i stuffed a twenty dollar bill into the most convenient carrying place a woman has in such a circumstance – my bra. This is not unusual for me, as i have another odd habit -carrying my cell phone in my bra.* When traveling, hotel room keys, discussion notes, rental car keys and other assorted shrapnel will end up there as well.**
Wearing a wrap dress, with moderate cleavage, i knew i could discretely retrieve the cash on my way to grab lunch. Arriving a few minutes late for my earlier meeting, i snuck into the back of the room, gathering situational awareness before diving into the business at hand.
As i joined the festivities, i couldn’t help but notice the gentleman to my left checking me out from time to time. Since he was of the “non-troll” variety of male***, this was mildly flattering, and sort of picked me up, after the day got off to a bumpy start.
Of course, you guessed it… not only was the twenty sticking out of the right side of my bra, but my phone was clearly visible through the thin fabric on the left side. i didn’t notice until i went to retrieve the cash as i turned the corner into the lunch room.
Gives a whole new meaning to “dressing professionally”…
** sort of like a chipmunk. with breasts…
* yes, set on “vibrate”. some days, i’d like to set it on “stun”.
*** truly a rare animal in my workplace. we are like a breeding zoo for nerds, dweebs and gentlemen who live in Mommy’s basement until they are 40 years old.
He was probably thinking, “I know this is a big organisation, but how could I have missed the stripper department?”
so you checked each other out and then what?
If I ever meet you, I’d like to put in a request to immediately borrow your cell phone.
These are the types of people I want working with me (the bra stuffers, not the nerds & dweebs).
umdalum (first time poster, long time reader)
upset waitress: “Hi Ms. Daisy, Oh my is that a phone growing out of your tits?”
Hahaha! I put my waitress pad in the back of my pants.
kyknoord – funny part is he seemed the only one in the room to notice. the others were trying to see if i had the latest Krzr phone! [geek schwing!]
nm – and he decided i was a whackjob. end of story. [probably married. the ones that don’t wear white socks usually are…]
uncle keith – my calling plan allows roaming!
umdalum – Welcome to The Park! The downside of the bra-transport system is at the end of the day? i’m not sure what i’ll find as i get ready for bed…
uw – one of the admin gals refers to it as my ‘transponder’. she’ll make fun of me, whack her chest and say ‘talk to the boob, baby’…
Thanks – glad to be here. Any friend of Uncle Keith’s is a friend of mine.
I’ve added you to my blog.
Fair warning, I’m just as juvenile as Keith……
umdalum – fair warning back: bet i’m worse than both of you!
Why Uncle Keith, I do believe that’s the sound of a guantlet hitting the floor……..
just as nerdy too umdalum . =)
I have to say that one of the pure joys in my life is vibrating Daisy’s cleavage.
umdalum – [klink] yes. it. was. [but we’ll have to do it over at your place… my kids read this blog…. shhhhh…..]
uw – nerds rock. fully.
imeantno – and you do it so well 😉 ring me again… faster…
That’s the way women dressed professional in the trailer park’s I’ve lived in.
Ahhhh I love nerds. I let a nerd knock me up. The geek kind of nerd. All my friends are nerds too. It makes me feel cool 🙂
Snarkiest – when i’m really dressing to impress at the office, i’ll bust out my dress tube top, but cover it up with a formal bowling shirt. Paired with ‘paint on blue jeans’ and some spikey “CFM” sandals, they know i mean business…
uw – Maybe that’s why most of my friends are from the nerd/geek sub-species? They make me look like a rock star!
–make you look like a rock star. 🙂 Good one, Daisy.
Someday I hope to have enough cleavage to really hide things in.
Hubby tries to hide something in there occasionally but I generally find it quickly enough.
You should have given him your number and asked him to ring you.
I often have my pockets stuffed with the accoutrements of the modern professional and find I have to keep cash, business cards and medical suppliers stuffed down my trousers.
The canteen lady was shocked when I unzipped to pay her but soon became used to it. New business associates have not faired that well. Anyone requiring first aid has passed out.
Pockets are for dykes. 😉
I like to think of myself as a nerd/geek-in-training.
bc – well, apparently he’s trying to hide something of substance! i’d be more worried if you didn’t find it!
Bb – or perhaps handed him the cash, and written my phone number on it? we should DEFINITELY do lunch sometime. between me grabbing my tits and you digging in your shorts, we’d make an entertaining lunch pair.
az – with your iPod acquisition, and Mac-lust? you’re past the training phase!