During the workday, i’m mostly on the move through a large building complex, spending much of my day on roving patrol, going from meeting to meeting. i don’t carry a briefcase, and often won’t even have a pad of paper for notes, instead jotting memos directly into my blackberry to provide an electronic reminder of promises made…
On days when i’m not wearing slacks, or a blazer, i find myself without pockets. Today was such a day… With back to back meetings being held at opposite ends of the complex – perhaps a half mile apart – i had strategically planned to stop at the cafeteria to snag a quick lunch en route.
Without pockets, or a notebook, i stuffed a twenty dollar bill into the most convenient carrying place a woman has in such a circumstance – my bra. This is not unusual for me, as i have another odd habit -carrying my cell phone in my bra.* When traveling, hotel room keys, discussion notes, rental car keys and other assorted shrapnel will end up there as well.**
Wearing a wrap dress, with moderate cleavage, i knew i could discretely retrieve the cash on my way to grab lunch. Arriving a few minutes late for my earlier meeting, i snuck into the back of the room, gathering situational awareness before diving into the business at hand.
As i joined the festivities, i couldn’t help but notice the gentleman to my left checking me out from time to time. Since he was of the “non-troll” variety of male***, this was mildly flattering, and sort of picked me up, after the day got off to a bumpy start.
Of course, you guessed it… not only was the twenty sticking out of the right side of my bra, but my phone was clearly visible through the thin fabric on the left side. i didn’t notice until i went to retrieve the cash as i turned the corner into the lunch room.
Gives a whole new meaning to “dressing professionally”…
** sort of like a chipmunk. with breasts…
* yes, set on “vibrate”. some days, i’d like to set it on “stun”.
*** truly a rare animal in my workplace. we are like a breeding zoo for nerds, dweebs and gentlemen who live in Mommy’s basement until they are 40 years old.