Facebook is an odd place for a trailer park battle. Ok. Maybe not…
Friday night. i picked Mom up tonight, and brought her home with me to spend the weekend. Respite care for all… and a chance for Mom to get away from the excavations for a couple days. Facebook status update from my niece, DQ, with the following picture:
“DQ, III shooting Daddy in the foot with a nail gun…hahahaha”
Invariably, my sister, T, from Florida weighs in with a post on my wall:
T: “A child with a nail gun? Does anyone in this family ever Think? Very sorry for trying to be obvious. You can all continue to hate me.”
Rather than reply with “Hey, at least she’s wearing goggles”, i attempted to make peace… knowing that DQ and the rest of the extended family (cousins included) had just seen not only the picture of the baby with the nailgun, but also T’s message on my wall…
daisyfae: “i’m pretty sure it wasn’t loaded…. no one hates you, T… different worlds…”
But my niece, DQ, was quicker, adding:
DQ: “It’s a toy from Toys R Us”
Huh. This actually surprised me. i thought it was a REAL nailgun. And i wasn’t even phased…
DQ then added “and we love you bunches:)” in an apparent attempt at peace…
Five minutes ago, DQ called me — she had received a text message from T.
“It breaks my heart, but based on my last visit home, you will all never see me again. Please pass along.”
Well. That’s special, isn’t it?
(sigh)
***********
The the entire incident – and the “near real time blogging” – occurred with Mom completely oblivious to it. at least so far… she’s been sitting in the chair, eating fresh-baked cookies. right next to me, as it all went down. i feel like a master spy or something. or maybe like a complete douchenozzle. hard to say…. i’m pretty sure my sister, T, was just drunk. i sent her an e-mail update earlier this week. there had been no response, so i e-mailed her partner… and was informed that T was pretty disgusted with the whole mess…. wouldn’t surprise me if she does cut herself off… stay tuned…. For another episode “As The Trailer Park Boils”….
Trailer Park Refugee 
I think it’s a really cute picture!
and it looks like a real nail gun too!
Either T has a wicked sense of verrrry dry humour or that was just harsh. Nail guns for tots, now that’s a million dollar idea … 😉
Is T serious?! That’s so passive-aggressive. You don’t make a grand announcement to everyone that you’ll never see me again. You just don’t show up anymore. They’ll get the message sooner or later. I dunno. It’s pretty early in the morning here.
come now. you didn’t think you’d get a weekend off…let alone an evening…did you? this IS the trailer park, ferchrissakes.
i think she’s damn cute. and she’s gonna hurt daddy a lot worse than a toy nail gun over the years…
syncopated eyeball – she’s a cute kid. probably doomed in many ways, but a cute kid…
nursemyra – i thought it was real. and i’ve become numb to it… remember, this is the family that keeps the “faces of death” book on the coffee table…
tNb – she was in the process of melting down when she did the FB post, and sent the text. and she meant both of them… she’s struggling with the trailer park situation in her own way. from 1,000 miles away, too… it’s a mess…
unbearable banishment – yes, she was serious. she’s an accomplished woman (Dean at a large university) who happens to be bipolar, and in the midst of much work and personal stress, this was the clincher. been e-mailing her partner. she was serious (sigh). and when i finally walk away from ‘the park’? it’ll be quietly, and without fanfare…
gnukid – mom’s just waking up. slept well. no clue as to the flap. she needed the rest, i think… and BJ is a good dad in many ways. the kid’s gonna stomp on his heart…
I have immediate family who refer to the rest of us as “those people.” After being absentee family members for quite a few years, we have begun to see them again. Opinions are still mixed as to whether that is a good thing. All you can do is your part of the dance, and try to hold on to your own sanity. Also, mmmm, cookies.
You’ll know T is serious when she defriends all of you on fb.
We can’t make people bend to whatever model we have of them in our minds, so, in my world, it’s not worth expending the energy (physical, spiritual, emotional) to even try. My siblings all think, I’m fairly sure, that I’m one of the biggest assholes to walk the earth. Do I care what they think? No. Should I? I don’t think so. We’re only blood relatives through an accident of birth. Everyone makes their own choices. Which is fine, but then you kind of have to live with the consequences.
I hope your Mom really enjoys the break from the excavations that you’ve afforded her and enjoys this time with you.
As for your recording the happenings here? Well, it’s your way of dealing with circumstances and maybe even obtaining a little moral support. That’s the way I see it, anyway.
chris – i made a deathbed promise to my father to look after them. all of them. that is, unfortunately, my part of the dance. combine that with my own dual nature as ‘redneck/refugee’, and i am alternately torn between joining the ‘whup ass’, and setting everything straight – and running away. and ultimately? i eat the amazing cookies that my daughter baked, with a glass of milk, and scratch my head. which is better than cutting myself i suppose…
rob – i will get to the point where i can wander off. after mom dies, there’s no doubt in my mind that my dealings with family may ONLY occur via facebook, e-mail and christmas cards. mom slept well last night, and is eating better here. she’s napping now, and seems to have really enjoyed the time hanging out with my kids… i’ll continue ‘respite’ weekends as long as needed. the blog is my therapist. last night, it allowed me a venue to vent. i will continue to be vexed by my choice to make my family business public… but i also know that i’m not alone in this internal conflict, so if i provide some nice ‘schadenfreude’ relief for others in the same boat? i guess that’s a bonus…
T’s contributions, at this point, may not be missed what with her repeated declarations of everyone’s complete ineptitude as parents, siblings, children, et al.
Glad your mom got a mini-vacation (and cookies).
Hang in there. Your promise meant a great deal to your father.
You mentioned you mother unaware of all this…just like my MIL at Thanksgiving not knowing that Husband and I were IM-ing between the kitchen and den about what to do with her the next day.
Wow, the fireworks round the homestead! You knockin back some Crown with those cookies?
family eh! ya can move thousands of miles away and they still fuck with ya on facebook
squirrelqueen – T has the best of intentions, and a good heart. It’s usually the implementation that is destructive. She is “hurricane t, from the southlands” and when she blows into town, there’s usually a lot of yelling. she’s not wrong. just has zero tolerance for the bullshit of the park… and the subtlety of a category 5…
hereinfranklin – i think that’s part of the reason i feel like a bit of a weasel. dealing with the flap, then blogging it, without every saying a word while holding a pleasant conversation with her over cookies… the text thing is a great idea. may steal that one…
fragrant liar – no fireworks, really. just ASCII text, exchanged between 3 different venues, covering over 1,000 miles. amazing, when you think about it. family feuding in the ether! very civilized in some ways… it wasn’t crown. should have been, though. but crown and cookies is not a good fit! could have put some kahlua in my milk, i suppose!
Bb – i like it better by remote. given the choice of dealing with an angry T in person? DEFINITELY better via social network. because i can always delete her…
Perhaps I should be glad a couple of my siblings refuse to friend me on Facebook.
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