Note from a fly…

If there had been a fly on my wall last night, roughly between the hours of 8:30-11:00 pm, this is sort of what happened…  

Not an atypical evening at home, which is probably why the reaction seemed weird when i was trying to explain it to a friend at work this morning….  And probably why i do not just sit around at home more often.  

In the big leather armchair, at the laptop.  Five different windows open, flipping between them, while on the phone with Mom, making arrangements for a visit this weekend.  Deciding to take Mom to see a local theater production, buying tickets while listening to Mom describe all of the food she’s eaten since Sunday.  

Off the phone with Mom, pulls up phone number from computer. Dials.  Leaves message with friend of stroke victim, who is primary care  coordinator while friend is still in the hospital.  Hangs up, wanders into kitchen, opens refrigerator and stares at contents.  Closes fridge, snags purple popsicle from freezer, returns to chair and laptop.   

Daughter enters room, with toys from pet store for dog and cat.  Once dog is distracted with stuffed duck, both trample down the stairs to torture cat with robotic mouse.  Cat only mildly amused.  Mother and daughter highly amused.  For about five minutes.  

Return upstairs to chair, snagging SCUBA book en route.  Turn Presidential “State of the Union” address on kitchen TV, and listen while doing homework.  In between homework questions, alternate between surfing internet and yelling at television “C’mon, Muthafuckah!  You are the President!  Take it!  Command the room!  COMMAND THE PEOPLE!”  

Finish first chapter of homework, and realize that if Mom is visiting over the weekend, the television in the guest room needs to be operational.  Trample downstairs to storage room, retrieve 13″ television and digital converter box.  Clear off bed, desk and whatnot while untangling cords, and still occasionally yelling at the kitchen television.  Watch approximately one minute of presidential address from small television.  

Stop by refrigerator, open door, stare at contents — disappointed that something new and tasty has not magically appeared over the past hour or so.  Grab an orange popsicle from freezer, return to chair, check e-mail, start SCUBA chapter 3 homework.  Scream at television “Overturn ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’!  Oh, yeah!  But really do it this time…”.   

Return to refrigerator.  Ignore food.  Fix cranberry-vodka cocktail.  Respond to e-mail ping – message from ex-girlfriend of stroke victim.  Another update, suggestion that his local network will need lots of help when he’s released from the hospital, and that he responded with huge smile when they told him i’d been in touch.  Weep uncontrollably*, while responding to her message.  

Blow nose, loudly.  Return to homework.  Yell at television a few more times while drinking cranberry-vodka cocktail.  Turn television off to avoid hearing Republican response.  Finish homework, simultaneously finish drink.  Put on pajama pants and down jacket, put dog on leash,  go out to garage.  Smoke cigarette with daughter’s boyfriend, while dog destroys plants with urine.  

and i wasn't even that jacked up yesterday...

  

* Not a plea for “hugs”.  i cry a lot.  It’s not a big deal.  Fuck, at my age?  i can get weepy at a god damned Honda commercial…

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20 thoughts on “Note from a fly…

  1. I dropped by to give you a best-wishes boost if you were heading over to your Mom’s for more clearance duties – and I’m sorry to hear about your friend’s stroke.

    My dad had one about nine years before he died, and while he was NEVER the same, at least it got him to quit smoking (not me though, had to wait till I was really ready for that)

    But I guess the big thing is your friend will need support and will not always be happy about that. Most of the strife I used to have with my mother was about how my dad “never appreciated all that she did for him” when I always wanted to yell at her “He had a STROKE! He isn’t the guy he used to be! He resents that!”

    Of course nowadays my mother’s losing her memory so she never remembers when she fights with me (thank goodness for small mercies)

    cheers to you, have a great weekend

    you have a kick-ass President, it’s a pity he’s being hamstrung by politics, but that’s the name of the game I guess

  2. mine – thanks again for stopping by. need to update my blogroll, because i really enjoy your blog, and have been too distracted to update my reader, too! i’m worried about my friend’s local ‘family’ becoming overtaxed, and will likely do some weekend trips up there when he’s out of the hospital to give them a break. the Prez? he’s ok. i just question whether ANY human can govern the people of this country. and i yell at all of them. sadly, they can’t hear me through the television…

    syncopated eyeball – i really didn’t mean for the post to come out so ’emo’, but i guess it did. it’s just my lack of ability to concentrate, focus on one thing at a time. i know it’s not unique. i flit around so much it annoys anyone around me. yet another reason i’m certain to live alone for a long time…

    DP – i think it is, but i’m not so distracted that it’s a problem. i just remember a time when i could get easily lost in activities, and stay on task, and now, it’s always something shiny, screaming for my attention… sorry about the hug, i’m fine. really!

    nursemyra – this is a good plan. if we go to lesbos? Ouzo, dear… LOTS and LOTS of Ouzo! we will learn to like it. we will sip it so we don’t fall down a lot…

  3. i got exhausted just reading all you did. i’m guessing you slept well that night.

    oh, and unless you bought the Westinghouse Brand Star Trek Food Replicator ® option for your refrigerator (available in stores now!), it’s just wishful thinking something new will turn up from the last time you visited the fridge.

  4. It’s nice to know that someone can cheer a presidential debate. I can’t even cheer a game. Hell, I can’t stand to watch either. Although… if you give me a couple of those Vodka-Cranberry martinis, I’d gladly make the attempt.

  5. Crap, I gotta catch up. I was still stuck on the title of your blog and was wondering how a trailer house had an upstairs/basement. Our trailer house never had a basement…that I knew of. THEN I saw that is says REFUGEE in the title. I. Must. Slow. Down. When. I. Read.

    Oh and sometimes life is just shit, and we cry. It’s Friday, grab another drink and a hankie!

  6. gnu – slept like a rock… a moss-encrusted, ADHD rock…

    stephanie – post a link if you find it. my daughter is getting tired of shopping for me…

    kono – should have had something chocolate. i’m a failure as a chef…

    writerdood – not exactly cheering. sort of like attending the ‘rocky horror picture show’ without the time warp…

    chris – i don’t have one in the living room, but the little guy mounted on the wall in the kitchen gets some use…

    carlae – i got out. the blog is sort of about ‘survivors guilt’, and trying to figure out how i escaped, while resolving the fact that i am — without a doubt — STILL a freakin’ redneck.

    blazngscarlet – i may have to have one for breakfast tomorrow. gonna be a long night…

    s.le – thank you. it was a very articulate fly…

  7. I’ve gotten to the point where I can’t imagine one single day without multi-tasking, I’m simply unable to slow down and focus on one task at a time. I’ve decided it must be a sign of advanced intellect.

    But I have a new admiration for the popsicle solutions, so much quicker than popcorn for dinner.

  8. tNb – i’ll go with the ‘advanced intellect’ answer… makes me feel marginally better about my flighty nature… popsicles rock! they are perfect, in that they are not so decadent as ice cream – and as a result, i can keep them around for more than an hour. but they are sweet and cold and low in calories…

  9. sea witch – welcome to the park, and thank you for stopping by! i’m a fairly new diver, and am going to have limited opportunities to dive this year. wanted to keep working skills, though, so i’m taking ‘rescue’ diving this winter, and will probably take ‘advanced open water’, too. if i’m going to do this? i’m going to be damn good at it…

  10. DAMN IT. I hate the refrigerator that can’t produce something new and tasty just by re-opening the damned door… *mutter mutter stomp away to look in the fridge again, just in case*

  11. awalkabout – really. we can (theoretically) put a man on the moon, we can store a bazillion pieces of music on a nanopod, and create ice cream ‘dots’, flash frozen with liquid nitrogen — but we have YET to create the self-replenishing refrigerator!

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