Mission: Accomplished

Three women.  Of single mind and purpose.  Once the date and location were agreed to – three months ago – it was a battle fought madly to keep life from impinging upon the calendar.

Driving.  Four hours.  The cities and interstate highways melting  away, into an unfamiliar landscape.  A two-lane paved road, weaving through wooded hills.  Signs advertising “Deer Processing”, “John Deere” and “Sunday Beer” punctuating the brown and gray autumn palette.

Housing is a mix of trailers, modern tri-levels and victorian homesteads.  Corn and soybean fields harvested and barren.  Barns with open, gaping wounds in the rooftops.  Homes with faded, peeling paint jauntily sporting brand new satellite dishes.  Laundry flying outside a shack that should have been abandoned.  SUVs and pick up trucks out numbering cars ten to one.  Pressing onward into the twilight on a Friday evening. 

The destination appearing around a bend in the road, like a mirage.  Out of time, and out of place.  A galaxy of lights and sunny yellow brick facades.  The Grand Resort, built at the turn of the century – the previous one. 

Just about the last thing you’d expect to discover in the economically starved hills of southern Indiana, the place is an oasis of glamour from a bygone era.   Past the town of Floyd’s Knobs, and about 30 miles after you cross Sinking Creek Road.  There is this…


We were celebrating.  The retirement of a lovely wig, and the return of hair.  My two “breast cancer grannies”, Leontine and Doris, invited me for a weekend at The Grand Resort.  Doris finally ditched the wig, so it was time for a party.  We packed in provisions…  mostly liquid. 

Leontine and i booked spa time, while Doris won big at the slots in the casino.   Shopping was also on the agenda, including some antiquing and a visit to the Discount Liquor Emporium.

On the surface, we don’t have all that much in common*.  Doris , 68, is a widow.  Remarkably, she worked though three surgeries, radiation and chemo as the administrator of a local pre-school.  Leontine, 66, is the wife of a retired dentist, and is active in the community – most recently volunteering at the H1N1 vaccination clinic for our county.

They schooled me this weekend.  On many fronts.  Doris, who emigrated from Germany during WWII at the age of four, kicked my ass into next week at Scrabble.  Sort of helpful, with just a hint of cutthroat, she seemed to enjoy the fact that she was the only one of us with just a high school education.  Never mind that English isn’t her native language.

Leontine taught me some travel tricks.  Namely, how to pack mule single malt scotch and other assorted booze in your checked luggage**, without spills or wasted space.  She also explained to me the benefits of using vodka, or apple brandy, when making a pie crust. 

They both explained to me the best ways to take calcium – which will be important for me when my estrogen takes a crap in a few years since i can’t do hormone replacement therapy.  Oh, and they both chastised me for bashing my extremities into hamburger while rolling my bike. 

For my part, i was prepared to give something back.  Packing in the proper gear, i taught them how to make – and eat – jello shots.  Maybe that’s why the Scrabble got a little rough after the third game.  i don’t cook, i distill.  It was all i had…

They were staying over another day, but i drove back tonight.  It occurred to me after i called to let them know i’d made the trip safely that my relationship with these two gals is evolving beyond “breast cancer buddies”. 

Surrogates.  They both have daughters my age.  They know my family situation.  My Mom has never taken care of herself, so she’d have no idea how to teach me about calcium supplements.  Mom was also not the greatest cook.  She did share her secret “Shake and Bake” pork chop recipe, and where to buy the best deep fried mushrooms in town.  That’s something.  But they’ve gently stepped into the gap.  And i like it…

When i called, Leontine said “Thanks for calling to let your two Moms know that you are home safe and sound”.  Maybe i’m just a little hormonal***, but it made my eyes just a little bit squishy.


* We have at various times called ourselves the “Three B’s”, for “Boobs, Booze and Brie”, or more recently the “The Four and a Half Tits”, noting the remaining number of breastages amongst us.  A member of Leontine’s bridge group wanted to join, but Leontine told her “You’ve got too many tits”.

** It’s called a “Platypus“, and it’s a hydration system for endurance athletes.  There are endurance athletes, and there are ENDURANCE athletes… This is a clever use of gear…

*** As my son would have said “enjoy it while you can, Mom.  It ain’t gonna last much longer”.

17 thoughts on “Mission: Accomplished

  1. just goes to show that cancer doesn’t have to be an end to things…and is often a beginning to more wonderful things.

    very glad you found something wonderful. so, yeah, ‘squishy’ eyes are very allowed.

    are you now the “Sisterhood of the Traveling Tits”?

  2. posh, slots, and scrabble. count me in with you and the grannies next time. especially if we can work yahtzee in the mix. i love inter-generational friendships- so many people discount/undervalue the opportunity but there is so much to learn on top of just enjoying each other’s company.

  3. gnukid – yep. ‘traveling tits’ it is! remember – one out of two men get cancer, and one in three women get it. i got lucky. this time. who knows what comes next… live hard. and often.

    nursemyra – we’ll be “gettin’ our posh on” in Greece… if we can’t get a cabana boy to do it, i’ll spoil you!

    dave – i prefer Yahtzee as well… and yes, inter-generational friendships. different points of view, for sure, but lots of good life-nuggets there…

  4. There’s no touch like the human touch. Glad you had a nice weekend. One of my colleague’s wife is from Germany and she regularly scores in the 400’s in Scrabble.

  5. my eyes just got a bit squishy too daisyfae. survivor? i didn’t know. jello shots are a fine contribution. good call! nice touching post.

  6. chris – maybe it’s the logic and orderliness of the german linguists, but doris was in the mid-200’s half bombed and not really trying… amazing.

    cew – and sometimes even sweeter when you assemble your own extended family…

    tNb – apparently (and i am no expert) one of the keys to a good pie crust is to keep the amount of water in the dough to an absolute minimum. but it’s hard to work, roll out and all that stuff. if you add vodka? you can add 50% more, it’s easy to work with the dough, and the alcohol bakes out… i thought it brilliant. and since i only cook with alcohol? makin’ some pies this christmas!

    hisqueen – saturday was breath taking! high near 70! mid-November! sunday was also good, just less sunshine… very nice… needed it…

    lynn – i don’t call myself a ‘survivor’ because mine was just Stage I. very early, i got away with just surgery and radiation. very, very lucky. so get your mammogram, lady. no excuses. early detection saved me some serious trouble… jello shots are my specialty. and about the only thing i can cook.

    renalfailure – not exactly. leontine lost half a tit (no reconstruction), doris lost a whole one and mine when from DDD’s to C during the reconstruction, so technically i still have 2. might have a third installed in the middle of my back for shits and giggles though…

  7. Pingback: In the name of justice… « Trailer Park Refugee

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