This week, i’m at a major technology forum, held smack-dab in the middle of Silicon Valley – THE technology mecca, just 30 miles south of San Francisco. This meeting is a true sausage-festival, with perhaps 25 women amongst the 500 dark-suited dorks attending. Typical of such events was my first random encounter of the morning as i was elbowing my way to the giant vats of coffee in the back of the room:
Nerd: Hey, you’re daisyfae! Remember we met at Electro-Schlong Fest, 2003 in Cedar Rapids? You gave a very funny overview of small, high-tech business strategies*.
daisyfae: That’s right! You were the middle-aged guy with glasses wearing the gray suit! How could i forget? [knocks short man with mismatched socks away from coffee urn to snag a lifesaving slug of caffeine]
Despite the armada of celebrants sporting Quantum Wood, there have already been quite a few laughs amongst my more twisted brethren. The one that had me damn near squirting a suspiciously sticky cheese danish out of my nose was a shared e-mail exchange between two colleagues – one attending the session, and one back at the home office.
Titan of Industry (TI) is an old friend, who has done pretty well at the helm of a high tech start up. Despite good business performance during the shitty economy, his company is getting just as hammered as everyone else in the current stock market massacre. An employee back home sent him a note of condolence:
Employee X: You said you were out this week. If by any chance you are traveling by yourself on buisness and have been drinking from the minibar while watching CNBC, please get back off the ledge.
TI: I’ve just landed in the Bay Area. It’s very strange – fires are burning everywhere, and there is the stench of death in the air. The citizenry is running around screaming for their lives as packs of giant Dungeoness crabs are scouring the countryside seeking human flesh! Venture capitalists are stepping into the roadways, dousing themselves with gasoline, and lighting themselves on fire! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON! Dogs are sleeping with cats! Oh, the humanity! Is this the end of days!?!
Employee X: Truly devastating, I feared as much. Somehow though we will all get through this together. Oh, don’t worry about the dogs and cats thing, that is normal for the bay area…
hur, hur, hur... *snort*
* It’s not that i’m anything special. i’m just an anomaly. Amidst a sea of gray, blue, black and yes, even brown, suits, there is a long-haired creature with breastages wearing red. They tend to notice… i’m blown away that at this particular dork-fest a mere 5% of the attendees have ovaries. We actually counted about 25 1/2 women here. Yes. One was of indeterminate gender…
Trailer Park Refugee 
By quantum wood, you mean men with very small penises or penii?
I love geek humour. It’s the finest kind.
It would seem like there’s always one of indeterminate gender…Those are the times I don’t know if I should sport a woody or talk about football.
You do remember. I’m touched.
You travel in interesting circles.
You should have your pick of the bunch then if its a sausage fest. At least you have a chance at picking up. If I was to go somewhere that was an ovary fest, it would most likely be full of feminists, and I don’t think they would like me… always look on the brightside Daisyfae!
kevinjohn I think you’d be far safer talking football than sporting a woody at almost any convention. except maybe Sexpo. Woodys are mandatory at Sydney Sexpos
London all seems rather tame now…and I’m forced, at this point, to spend more time with marketing types than with geeks, so humour is not an option. Everyone takes themselves way too seriously for humour.
by the way, did you have a good root day (*giggle*)
That comic . . . worth the visit.
Glad you got your coffee . . .
i think geeks are some of the most fun people to be around – as long as you can remove yourself from the situation and laugh about it. although there are different brands of geek as well – i prefer the slightly eccentric and naive but great conversationalist types myself.
I’m geeky enough to install a hard drive, but not mathy enough to totally get the cartoon. I recognize Pi, but haven’t met the other guy. But then, it is well known that I’m irrational.
It’s good that geeks can laugh about the stock market meltdown. It’s only imaginary money anyway. Unless it’s in your pension fund.
uncle keith – bonus points to you on both nailing the concept and correctly pluralizing “penis”.
rob – for me, it’s a toss up between geek humor and potty humor. i’m a big fan of both…
kevinjohn – definitely err on the side of football when in doubt.
kyknoord – it was the Star Trek Next Generation pocket protector that stuck with me… a true discriminator.
annie – in general, i adore scientists and technologists. and when i encounter the truly twisted among them? gold. pure gold.
alex – alas, they are within my work sphere, and as a result, i consider them off limits. it’s not the “pencil necks” that deter me…
nursemyra – when is Sexpo? should i cash in some frequent flyer miles?
dolce – root day was fun, but not nearly as fun as March 14th is! as for the marketing types? they’re brits. they’re inherently twisted. get ’em liquored up and see what happens…
tysdaddy – made me giggle. saw it awhile ago and had saved it for just such an occasion!
daisymae – eccentric/naive are fun, but i end up firmly attached to the “Dawg Boyz” every time. hmmm….
silverstar – it’s (sadly) all imaginary money. my mom is still struggling with her long term balance declining even further this week… As for “i”? It’s pretty hardcore math… real and imaginary (complex) numbers aren’t really good for much other than machinations of numbers.
Cash your points in any time daisyfae. once you and I hit the town together it will automatically be Sexpo
To the best of my knowledge I have but three ovary-less geeks who play on my blog. That cartoon is so burglarized for march 14th 🙂