What a long strange trip it’s been…

While Dad was in the hospital, there were many opportunities to sit and talk – and more importantly, listen.  Towards the end some of his medications caused hallucinations.  We were never sure if we were getting history or electric dreams!

One night at dusk, i was in his room reading the newspaper while he dozed.  He quietly awakened and said “Did you know that G was a transvestite?”

I put down the paper.

G was the second husband of my oldest sister, S.  He was a tall, painfully thin, bearded stoner.  Probably 6’2″, with a 24″ waist – 130 lbs (soaking wet while wearing SCUBA gear).  Nice enough guy, but not a man i could easily picture in a dress.  Not a man i would want to picture in a dress.

“No, i hadn’t heard that… really?”

Dad got a goofy grin on his face, and nodded his head vigorously.  We both got the giggles, to the point where tears were streaming down our faces.  He seemed to tire, and was soon asleep again. 

Racking this up to another hallucination, i went back to the newspaper and didn’t give it a second thought.

Within days, all hell broke loose for him medically.  He was admitted to the intensive care unit, semi-comatose.   That night, after going over the medical information with my siblings, i remembered the moment. 

Looking at S, i asked “Did you tell Dad that G was a transvestite?”


“Well he got the biggest damn laugh out of that when he told me the other night… giggled and snorted like a school girl…”

And then she and i both got a ridiculous case of the “stress giggles”, which is more than a little bit awkward in the waiting room of a hospital intensive care unit.


* A week after S married G, she woke up and found him in bed next to her wearing a silk nightgown and panties…. both items belonging to his mother.  Months later, S asked Mom what she should do.  Mom informed S that ‘all marriages have problems, and you just need to make it work’.  S stayed with her second husband for 15 years, and never told another soul about it.  I’ll probably have more stories about G later… he was pretty special.

16 thoughts on “What a long strange trip it’s been…

  1. You are so fortunate to have been with your father during his last days. Thank you for sharing this.

    My mother didn’t bother to tell me that my father was in hospital, where he died within several days from sepsis. Worse, I found out that he had died after his funeral, when my sister sent me his obituary, clipped from the newspaper. Neither my mother, nor my sister has ever accepted responsibility for what their deliberate negligence has put me through. The pain of being denied closure with my father has diminished somewhat (he died in ’92), but it will never go away.

    Again, thank you for sharing this.

  2. Mark, I have no clue who you are but that kind of upset me…Well it actually upset me ALOT. Frankly, your mom and sis are assholes. I’m sorry, but I take that back. You mom and sis are “unts” with a capitol “C” in front. Pffft. Newspaper clipping….sheesh. Nice way for your sis to tell you. Or NOT tell you. How can they justify not telling you your father died? Sorry for your loss, and sorry your mom and sis are nuts.

    Daisy, I wish I had a cross dresser to play with. The fun we would have! Looking forward to some more juice about G 🙂

  3. Mark – not just the final days, it was hours, days, weeks and months that we rode the medical rollercoaster together. not much fun, but i recognized the gift at the time. And i’m with the upset waitress on this one – beyond deliberate negligence, it was deliberate cruelty and is inexcusable.

    uw – check out Mark’s website… quite a story there! In the end it wasn’t so much an issue with G’s cross-dressing habits, more that it was a pretty serious thing to spring on a sweet, helpless girl from The Park after being married a week. G’s demise last year was written about in the local press for a few weeks… yeah. you’ll hear more about him…

  4. Mark, sorry to read of your family’s behaviour. very sad.

    daisyfae, I think a man with a 24 inch waist would look a lot better in a dress than our Duc at the Gimcrack.

    just picture a 120 kilo pregnant man in a frock…..

  5. kyknoord – i was about to write that it wasn’t anything quite so odd… but had a flashback. i’ll have to work on that one. a dog that commits suicide could lead to an interesting post.

    az – scariest part? this is one family. i know this is not that unusual… i’ve just been paying attention and taking notes all these years 🙂

    nm – If it weren’t for the facial hair, it might have worked. The other problem was apparently G’s taste in clothes. Liked his mothers floral mu-muus. Sounds like Duc could use a corset (or gastric bypass…)

  6. i wish you would stop bashing guys who wear their mother’s floral mu-muus. i don’t think there is anything wrong with it, and if oh, they like to sometimes wear lederhosen and sing “i’m a naughty alpine boy” well, there is nothing wrong with that either!

  7. My dad went to work and dropped dead at 52 – I really wish I could think of the last moments we had, but I expect the last thing I said to him was probably “Goodbye, have a good day” or something equally banal.

  8. Pingback: Silly Saturday Skinny Stoner Saga - the story of G « Trailer Park Refugee

  9. Pingback: Two conversations with my father… « Trailer Park Refugee

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