A few years back, as the ‘terror level’ of the people of the U.S. started to subside, Attorney General Ashcroft apparently decided that it had to be kicked back up a notch. Bam! Threat Level Orange!
In a now famous attempt to kick-start the fear factor going into a mid-term election, Mr. Ashcroft encouraged all Americans to be prepared for a chemical attack, by keeping duct tape and sheets of plastic on hand.
My Mom, knowing that i dabble in technology and stay current on such things, asked me if it would be a good idea for her to keep supplies on hand, ‘just in case’…
“Mom. First i want you to do three things. If you do these three things, then we can talk about the need for duct tape and plastic.”
“Stop smoking 3 packs of cigarettes a day. I know you’ve done it for almost 65 years, and other than the congestive heart failure, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, and persistent cough, it hasn’t hurt you a bit… and yes, we think the tar is holding some of your internal organs in place. Still, it’s a significant risk factor in your life.
“Wear your seatbelt every time you ride in a car. Especially when you are driving. While smoking…
“Stop eating a bacon sandwich, with a side of sausage and gravy shots, for breakfast. Oh, and try to get out and walk just a little bit every day.
“These are the three things that are most likely to kill you. You are also more likely to die at the hands of an axe-wielding mime than to suffer the effects of a chemical attack, so the fourth item on the list might be mime-repellant.”