What bugs me…

When asked what i’m afraid of, the answer is always the same:  outliving my children.  It won’t matter if i’m 90 and they are in their 60’s, it’s simply the worst thing i can think of…

Typically, this statement is met with a “whoa… that’s heavy.” response.  It also has a serious buzzkill effect if some poor bastard happens to ask me that at a party.  But, if the questioner hasn’t run away, i always follow up with “oh, yeah.  that and spiders.”

Sometimes you have to stick around for the punchline…

A good friend shared an e-mail she got from her husband, with the subject line “must be shared…”.  His additional comment was “because no one likes to have nightmares alone.” 

I just liked that turn of a phrase… and liked this link even more!  It’s a shame that science class isn’t taught this way – we’d have fewer dropouts.  

Fortunately, it’s about insects and not spiders.  I can deal with the 6-legged types.  But add two more legs?  I’m on a chair screaming…

warning – there’s some gnarly stuff in the link, especially the videos.  not recommended for the squeamish…

Will the real terrorist please stand up?

A few years back, as the ‘terror level’ of the people of the U.S. started to subside, Attorney General Ashcroft apparently decided that it had to be kicked back up a notch.  Bam!  Threat Level Orange!

In a now famous attempt to kick-start the fear factor going into a mid-term election, Mr. Ashcroft encouraged all Americans to be prepared for a chemical attack, by keeping duct tape and sheets of plastic on hand.

My Mom, knowing that i dabble in technology and stay current on such things, asked me if it would be a good idea for her to keep supplies on hand, ‘just in case’…

“Mom.  First i want you to do three things.  If you do these three things, then we can talk about the need for duct tape and plastic.”

    “Stop smoking 3 packs of cigarettes a day.  I know you’ve done it for almost 65 years, and other than the congestive heart failure, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, and persistent cough, it hasn’t hurt you a bit… and yes, we think the tar is holding some of your internal organs in place.  Still, it’s a significant risk factor in your life.

     “Wear your seatbelt every time you ride in a car.  Especially when you are driving.  While smoking…

      “Stop eating a bacon sandwich, with a side of sausage and gravy shots, for breakfast.  Oh, and try to get out and walk just a little bit every day.

      “These are the three things that are most likely to kill you.  You are also more likely to die at the hands of an axe-wielding mime than to suffer the effects of a chemical attack, so the fourth item on the list might be mime-repellant.”

<sigh>