i’m headed for another ‘open stage’ event tonight. Original plan was to meet up with some friends for ‘happy hour’ after work, then just stay for the band gig. But life got pesky, errands had to be run, pets had to be fed and emptied… so i bagged the post-work drinking and smack talking. E-mail festivities between me and my two partners in debauchery (ninjaneer and WDM) captured below…
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daisyfae: got too much stuff to do after work today – won’t make it to the bar after work, but I will be there around 7:15 for the open stage bit with the band… life is getting in the way of my fun. Dammit…
ninjaneer: Reminds me of Smashmouth’s “All Star” song
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an “L” on her foreheadWell the years start coming and they don’t stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn’t make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do so much to see
So what’s wrong with taking the back streets
You’ll never know if you don’t go
You’ll never shine if you don’t glow
It’s OK with me if you want to be a conformist, play-by-the-rules, “I’m not allowed out” kinda girlie-girl. Must be that TOTM if you catch my wiff – er- I mean drift.
daisyfae: Gotcha. As a matter of fact, it is ‘shark week’. And you can suck my sweaty junk, mothafukah… poke me again with your Ronco Pit Bull Teasing Stick and see what happens… [sitting with my finger and my thumb in the shape of an “L” on my forehead]
ninjaneer: I fear not your word of little power…..you’re just a girl. Hey, WDM, in light of the fact that daisyfae is out of iPads and is afraid of early afternoon spotting, do you want to head up to the bar a little earlier than 1630?
WDM: “Purple Headed Womb Ferret”
daisyfae: ewww…. i don’t need to know your pet name for the ninjaneers man-thing…
ninjaneer: If she had a sufficient number of those she wouldn’t be such a sissy.
daisyfae: i can have as many of those as i want… i keep two in a cage at the natural history museum as back up.
ninjaneer: Yes, but there not as good as the ones caught in the wild.
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Clearly, we have way too much free time… Off for my latest round of rock-star hallucinations…
Trailer Park Refugee 
That broke a smile out… youses is funny.
I needed to know about the Purple Headed Womb Ferret. That’s so funny!
I like that you are one o’ the boys. My schtick too. Sounds like fun, even if the bullshit is pouring outta the sky.
I’m so glad you’ve got some good playmates at work!
it may just be me, but it sounds like you lost that war of words… hmmm… losing your touch?
and i am totally stealing that “Purple Headed Womb Ferret” line!
stephanie – ninjaneer is a strange mix between an evil genius and a 10 year old boy, permanently wedged in the “potty humor” years… he’s a funny boy.
syncopated eyeball – it is apparently a line, uttered by Kate Winslet, in the BBC comedy “Extras”. That’s about all i know, but WDM has affected the habit of uttering that phrase – and that phrase only – when he needs to make a point… strange. but fun.
fragrant liar – oh, hip waders were necessary for the exchange later in the evening, when ninjaneer and i started the smack talk at the bar. we had an audience after awhile…
jenny – i’d sit under my desk and cut myself with a letter opener if i didn’t have multiple options for ‘play therapy’ during the day….
gnukid – i totally lost. and since he works in another building? i couldn’t walk into his office and throw a stapler at his head. which is how i USED to end such arguments….
Gaaaa! Earworm! Well, I suppose it could have been a lot worse. At least it’s got a nice hook.
I hope it went well for you, my dear. Once again, I wish I was there.
I’m sure it was followed up by an entire series of metaphors that could be intentionally misinterpreted to be as dirty as you want them to be. Nice work! I can never come up with dirty metaphors on the fly. It only happens when I’m writing, never when I’m talking. I usually have to resort to “I’m sorry, but I have no witty response to your conceptual abstraction.” And then, of course, I come across sounding like a pretentious dick. Fortunately, after a few drinks, I just smile and nod.
🙂
thanks for the laugh 🙂
daisyfae, when are you going to post a vid of you and the band?
unbearable banishment – sorry. not my fault. blame the ninjaneer… the band cancelled, so i just sat and drank. not the worst way to spend a tuesday.
writerdood – i love it! i’m going to borrow “I’m sorry, but I have no witty response to your conceptual abstraction.” With these guys? there’s nothing wrong with coming off like a pretentious dick! that’s a “WIN!”
nicole – you’re very welcome.
lynn – not likely soon, if i can’t connect with the band. was out on travel for 2 tuesdays, skipped last week due to exhaustion, and when i do show up? they gotz da flu… pooh… will see what i can do next time!
haha…. I like “shark week”
you guys sound like fun. when you are famous and traveling, please stop through Philadelphia!
Why wait till you’re famous, stop by Philly anyway. We got stuff here. Like my free range purple headed womb ferret.
Wild purple headed womb ferrets are WAY better than “domesticated” ones.
“Hey now you’re an All Star get your game on, go play
Hey now you’re a Rock Star get the show on get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold”
nursemyra – i don’t enjoy it, but at my age, it’s a sign that my eggs haven’t completely dessicated yet… i’ll take it.
lora – i hear it’s always sunny there!
renalfailure – i should totally get to philly…
blazngscarlet – i don’t like the domesticated version of much anything. ‘cept dogs, of course…