Ninjaneer Wisdom

Randomly, my office friend, the Ninjaneer, will launch an e-missive to those of us unlikely to file harassment charges sympathetic friends.  A signal from the dog ninja-planet, or just a compulsion to vent his spleen.  This is a little gem he recently forwarded…

Subject: Guts or Balls

There is a medical distinction. We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:

GUTS – Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: ‘Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?’

BALLS – Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: You’re next, Chubby.’

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically speaking there is no difference in the outcome.   Both result in death.

13 thoughts on “Ninjaneer Wisdom

  1. If I ever came home late one night reeking of booze and perfume covered in lipstick I’d better have on a helmet.
    My wife would take a whack at my head with the iron (turned on and hot)

  2. Ahem. Yes… and discretion is the other side of valor.

    It is also the other side of what I would wake up with if I should pull something like that.

    (my guts AND balls would be laying on the dresser in the morning.)
    Has nobody here heard of a ‘Bobbit’?

  3. michael – a hot iron to the head is a fairly direct message. helmet would be a good plan…

    unbearable banishment – suspect i’m in that ‘brass ovaries’ club. the way i treat my poor menfolk? i’m honest, but that ain’t always easy. have met a few delightful gentlemen who simply can’t handle that degree of directness. oh well…

    fragrant liar – i’m liking the phrase “brass ovaries”. much more pleasant as it rolls off the tongue than “brass va-jay-jay”, isn’t it?

    kevinjohn – i think most gentlemen have been in a state of ‘active denial’ regarding the ‘bobbit’ affair. rightfully so…

  4. Ah, the spirit of some gentlemen living on the edge. It is we, the meek, who live vicariously through these sporting chaps but, have enough good sense to understand that ‘Hell hath no fury like that of a woman’s scorn’. AMEN !

  5. silverstar – so.very.true. *cackle*

    nursemyra – oh, yeah… men with ovaries tend to fuck up my status as ‘queen bee’…

    WTG – my favorite name for a hot sauce, ever, was “Scorned Woman Hot Sauce”. Seriously. What could be hotter than that?

    tNb – not original (for either me or the ninjaneer), but a good laugh is a good laugh!

    kyknoord – if you do either to your delicious woman, i shall personally come over there and whack you in the head with a large board.

    renalfailure – Tag Larkin invented balls.

    gnukid – cojones? aren’t they on the menu at Taco Bell?

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