It was worth a try, but time to regroup. It turns out, an empty nester with a neurotic and dysfunctional highly affectionate dog cannot in good conscience abandon him to the kennel when business travel beckons…
It was working the first few times, dropping off my confused, but generally happy, pup at the kennel before roadtrips. He’s a bit ADHD and confused, and it seemed i was retrieving him before he even noticed i was gone.
Things didn’t go so well last time. While i was drinking and whoring networking in California, Mr. Pickles was on a hunger strike at the kennel. By the time i picked him up (after 4 days) he was a wreck – fur coming out in chunks, a hint of his ribcage peeking out at me… and he was barely able to bark, offering a raspy, pathetic and guilt-inducing substitute instead…
Evaluating options, i found the name of a highly recommended pet sitting service. Having just completed the initial interview*, i think this is going to work out pretty well… The price is right, the sitter will bring in the mail and newspaper, and the mutt doesn’t have to leave the couch. She even offered to bring over a ‘doggie play buddy’ to keep him company!
Now, if i could just stop referring to him as that “Little Brown Hole of Need”…
_________
* I spent almost an hour straightening my house before the interview, putting away dishes, cleaning dog bowls, digging suitable pet toys from under the sofa. Seriously, why do i care? Must i really prove my ‘dog mother worthiness’ to hired dog-sitters?
Trailer Park Refugee 
i will not kennel my dogs.. i alway have someone watch them in their own home.. and even my real nervous wreck of a red dog does fine with that… i think you will be pleasingly surprised….
I have a cat. She ain’t goin’ nowhere, anytime, and I got the scars to prove it.
“…brown hole of need…”??? Sweet, subatomic Jesus. When I was in the army, one of the guys in my unit tried to – uh – seduce me with words very similar to those.
Poor ol’ Mr Pickles should be much happier with this new arrangement. Even though I could probably leave my cats for a weekend (with plenty of food and water and a clean litter box) I always have someone come over. Nobody ever actually sees the cats (who sulk and hide when I’m away) but it makes me feel better.
kyknoord – did you succumb?
paisley – thanks for the encouragement. i don’t like people wandering my space while i’m gone, but for my little mutt nugget, i guess i’ll make exceptions.
uncle keith – [resisting. urge. to. make. feline-esqe. anatomy. comments…] so… you’re a ‘kitty man’?
kyknoord – would that be a ‘boson’, ‘lepton’ or ‘sonofgodatom’? oh, and heh, heh, heh… he said ‘unit’…
az – i wonder if Mr. P will evem notice i’m gone? random people coming over to play? bringing dogs? he’s going to start cheering when the suitcase appears on the bed!
nm – i’ve heard it’s not really ‘man love’ unless you make eye contact…
Daisyfae,
Why, Yes. Yes, I am.
uncle keith – doesn’t surprise me in the least 😉
you know I’ve heard that no eye contact/no man love thing too…..
But doesn’t that also apply to hetty sex?
It was nearly a case of ‘lepton’, but I was able to convince him he was quarking up the wrong tree.
nm – one of the young engineer-boys made that statement as he was leaving a rather smallish mens room in a biker bar.
az – i suppose so. so if i don’t cut eyeholes in the paper bag it’s ‘safe sex’?
kyknoord – almost hadron me there… (and yes, folks. we’re complete dweebs. deal with it.)
hetty sex? I hadn’t heard that expression before. i like it!