Tuesday afternoon with the Nerd Herd

We all work in different buildings, but my local collection of geeks often launch random e-mail discussions when bored, frustrated, or just feeling a bit punchy.  i’ve culled a few highlights here, here and here.

Today’s edition amused me.  But then again, i’ve reached a point of stress that i call ‘the giggle point’ – regardless of the gravity of a situation, i now find myself prone to fits of uncontrollable giggles.  Sometimes, it’s just that ridiculous…  This brightened my afternoon.

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RN, brilliant physicist (who happens to be tall and gorgeous, with a dark twisted sense of humor) received an e-mail from the library police, informing him that if he didn’t immediately return, or replace, two overdue books, they’d have to take serious action.  The dreaded “elevate this matter to a higher level”.

RN: I’ve been turned over to the feared collections department of the technical library. I’ve gotta hit the road before they find me. You had better not tell anyone you know me, I hear these people go after friends and family too. My life is over, I’ll probably end up in the state pen with barbed wire tattoos, done with a safety pin and the ink from a stolen pen.
 
WDM:  I snitched on you to save my own hide from the librarians.  Sorry. However, the books I turned you in for are not the ones listed below.  You can only renew the Kama Sutra so many times.
 
RN:  Why you low dirty SOB, and to think I actually returned your dog-eared sticky copy of “penthouse letters”…I ain’t taking no kneecaping for you.
 
Ninjaneer:  I don’t know you two.  I don’t associate with known felons.  You hear that Mr Library Enforcer?!  I don’t know who these low life’s are….
 
WDM:  Look, it’s not that bad.  When they get you over to the “interrogation” room at the library ask to be left alone with “Marta.”  Tell her you have been a “very bad boy.”  Work the system my friend.  Then take me out to lunch and tell me all about it. 
 
Ninjaneer:  Seriously, quit e-mailing me.  Just admitting I know you violates my parole.  You should stop this….before we all end up in the Big House.
 
WDM:  There are perks to the Big House:

1. a meal plan
2. cable television and a library
3. someone to wash your back in the shower
4. diversity of culture
5. regular sex
6. take your pick of religions: Christian, Judaism, Islam, Satanism, Buddhism, Wicca …
7. opportunity to lead or follow
8. an avenue to demonstrate one’s entrepreneurial skills
9. free exercise equipment
10. transparent metrics to distinguish leadership – unlike here (no one is ever confused as to who is in charge)

daisyfae:  Only advice I got?  Beat the crap out of someone bigger than you on the first day.  From then on?  You get to be “big spoon” rather than “little spoon” at lights out…
 
Ninjaneer:  I suppose that beats getting forked on a regular basis.
 
RN:  I like you guys but now I’m a man with nothing to lose, so when ‘they’ come I would clear the area and identify your “safe place”.  My lights are out and I’m not answering….

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