With one exception, i despise shopping. Hate it. Not shoes. Not food. Not baubles, bangles, and beads. Put me in a shopping mall for more than the briefest interval, and i hyperventilate and run for the fire exits.
The exception? Liquor.
Like a kid in a candy store, i will jump excitedly when i spy the new offerings in the vodka aisle, or bargains on single malt scotch! Despite limiting my alcohol consumption to only weekends, i still find tremendous joy in the hunt for treasures…
Preparing for a big ass throw down festive soiree at my place this weekend, i needed to stock both of my bars. Studley and i dropped into a favorite local haunt on our lunch hour today to retrieve a tasty limited edition strawberry vodka.
With four bottles of vodka, and two bottles of liqueur on the counter, the clerk started to ring up the purchase.
Clerk: Will that be all?
Studley: That’ll get her through til dinner. How late are you open?
daisyfae [to clerk]: Yep! Making some gourmet jello shots for a party! This will do nicely! [sticks tongue out at Studley].
Clerk: That’ll be $120.
i started counting fresh bills from my wallet…
Studley: Hey, those look a lot better than the last batch you printed!
daisyfae: You’re just a big damn help today, aren’t you? Remind me again why i brought you along?
Clerk: Would you like a box?
daisyfae: Nah. We’re just gonna drink it in your parking lot…
By then? The clerk was giggling at us. He grinned as he handed me my change.
Clerk: The way you two are carrying on? I’d say you’re either co-workers or brother and sister!
daisyfae: Well, damn! i guess that makes that thing we did last night a crime, don’t it?
Studley [to Clerk]: Momma says I’m the best kisser!
image found here
Trailer Park Refugee 
