Running errands all morning, one of my stops was at the mega-hardware store for some plants and a tube of caulk to repair my bathtub. Wandering into the paint section, i was approached by a sexy, tattooed salesman*, asking if i needed help…
daisyfae: Of course, i need help. i need to replace the caulk around my bathtub. i did it a year ago, but apparently used the wrong shit because it’s cracked already.
PaintMan [walking me down the caulk aisle]: Well, here are the waterproof caulks. There’s some of the expensive stuff that sets in 2 hours if you need that…
daisyfae: Nah, just the regular shit i guess.
PaintMan: Had an Asian couple in here a few weeks back looking for caulk. Guess it was the accent, but she said “I’m looking for cock”… It was hard to keep a straight face, but I said “How much do you need, Ma’am”.
daisyfae [laughing, and looking back at wall of caulk]: That’s a riot! Ok, so what kind should i get? i don’t need the quick set stuff…
i started to reach for a tube of the regular looking caulk, but noticed that there were different colors, and i’d grabbed one that wasn’t white.
daisyfae: Wait, i don’t want the black cock…
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* It was the same guy from almost two years ago who sold me the pink e-fucking-namel primer for my deck. And he’s still got the tattoos and is still just as charming…
Trailer Park Refugee 