When I Grow Up…

From the Trailer Park this week…

My niece, DQ, and her husband, BJ, decided that a weekend of rest and relaxation was in order.  They arranged for one of DQs cousins to stay at the house, to keep an eye on the 3-year-old, DQ, III and Mom. 

They packed up the 15-year-old, DQ Jr, and one of her friends, along with the gnarly off-road 4×4, and headed to the hills of Tennessee for a couple of days.

Never one to go “off-grid” for long, DQ provided a fairly continuous stream of Facebook updates over the course of two days.  From her “I’m freezing!” tweets, to the rants about their brand new 4×4 when the transmission crapped out, she was broadcasting for all to see. 

Including a very difficult to read “TMI Collection” about great sex with BJ when they found some time alone at the hotel.

One cringe-inducing post after another.  Watching a UFC fight at the Hooters.  BJ puking his guts out after the visit to Hooters.  Photos of the teenage girls shooting automatic weapons at the gun range. 

The crowning glory, however, was the photo she posted when they finally made it home.  Apparently there was a bit of souvenir shopping for the littlest member of the trailer park.  From the Hooters gift shop…

Just in case you can’t read the shirt, it says “Future Hooters Girl”.  Awww…

Re-dorkulation

If it’s Wednesday? i’m in a conference room, surrounded by science people, trying to drink my weight in coffee to maintain consciousness…

Today’s event took me down a rather unexpected “character study” path… and i’m deeply perplexed. i’m hoping that both of my readers can help shed some light on a vexing phenomenon. i sure as hell can’t figure it out.

Let me start with a fundamental truth:  Humans are animals.  We are just as driven by the biological urges from our little dinosaur brains as any other animal.  This means that males of the species are driven to mate* – and as a result, will make an effort to be attractive to females of the species. 

So for the love of biology, please help me understand WHY an attractive man, a professor who is quite accomplished in his field, isn’t socially backward, and has a bright and engaging personality and a charming sense of humor would PURPOSEFULLY CHOOSE to wear a bow tie?!?!? 

No matter how attractive he is, how smart he may be, or how desperate i might get, there is no conceivable** circumstance where i would willingly exchange body fluids with a man who wears a bow tie with a suit.  To a meeting.  On purpose.   It just SCREAMS “I’ve got Mommy issues”… 

Deal breaker?  Oh, yeah…

Oh Dear, I've been RE-DORKULATED!

Oh Dear, I've been RE-DORKULATED!

* Women are equally driven to mate – despite how it may seem to some of you gents – but we are the “keepers of the egg supply”, and given that we are born with a finite number of eggs, we protect them.  Saving them for potential fertilization by men we perceive to be The Most Powerful Egg Protectors.  Yes.  i am a romantic.  Surprised?

** see what i did there?