During the past two days, i’ve spent hours with a shovel, doing battle with the elements.  i have absolutely no idea why it is so important that i excavate my driveway – which is roughly the size of a basketball court.  Some degree of “fear of entrapment”, combined with my sense of homeowner responsibility.  Perhaps just a touch of “i don’t want to be skating on ice nuggets for the rest of the week when i walk out to get the mail” thrown in for good measure.

Yesterday, i managed to clear about 4″ of the heavy, wet stuff in just about an hour.  This morning, there was an additional foot of snow on the ground, so i bundled up and chipped away at it.  An hour and a half later, i’d made it a third of the way towards the as yet unplowed street.  Having no feeling left in my nose, it was time to regroup.

Midday, i finished round two – another 90 minutes of “woman against nature”.  First, i removed the extra 3″ that had fallen onto the previously cleared section, and then tackled the untouched portion – drifting to 2′ in spots.   i’d made it past mid-court, with about a third of the driveway left to go.   Regrouped yet again as i couldn’t feel my right hand…

i just finished round three – still not quite there, but only a few feet to go.  This time, i’m just worn out.  i’ll need to go out later anyway and remove the “plow turds” from the end of the driveway should the city trucks ever make it back this way… so i’ll just finish up then.

Although there is a general sense of futility when shoveling snow during a blizzard, there is some degree of satisfaction.  I felt strong, looking behind me and seeing progress.  Comfort, knowing that i’m self-sufficient and independent.  Thankfulness, knowing that i’m healthy enough to push a shovel.

…and total fucking annoyance at the sound of snowblowers.  Yuppie bastards.

Tomorrow, after the snow stops, i’ll head across the street to tackle Mrs. E’s driveway.   i hope to hell some of my yuppie bastard neighbors show up with those annoying snowblowers…  or maybe a couple of Boy Scouts?

It could be worse.  This is what Mr. Pickles encountered on the back deck as he attempted to relieve himself this morning.  Can’t imagine having to take a leak in snow up to the ol’ junk…  Brrr…




Post-script:  the city plows came during the night, and i managed to clear my escape route driveway.  as i was finishing up, and preparing myself mentally to tackle Mrs. E’s driveway, her son arrived in his BubbyTruck, complete with the Mother of All Snow-Blowers…  Halle-fucking-lujah!  A hot shower, more coffee and the Sunday paper!

“Give me 12″ and make it hurt…”

“so i screwed her 3 times and bit her in the shoulder…”

[ba dum DUM]


Snow.  Again / Still.   Actual blizzard conditions* out there…

This time, the prognosticators of icy death and destruction started early in the week, working themselves into a frothy frenzy of frozen fanaticism by this morning…

Me?  I’m grabbing a book and heading back to bed. 


“There’s no place like home….”


* The National Weather Service defines a blizzard as sustained 35 mph (56 km/h) winds which leads to blowing snow and causes visibilities of ¼ mile or less, lasting for at least 3 hours.  Check.

getting really (c)old…

Is it spring yet?

More snow and ice.  There was a magical moment this morning at 6:00 am – opening my tired eyes to watch the extensive list of closings on the morning news – and patiently waiting through over 200 listings to learn that we’d been granted a 2 hour delay in reporting to work!

Joy!  It felt like a “snow day” from school!  i re-set the alarm and snuggled back into the pillows for much needed sleep… An additional 4″ of snow fell overnight, coated with 1/4″ of freezing rain during the day.

As lovely as it looks from my front window – a skating rink made of vanilla frosting – i’m getting tired of the cold.  We usually have one ridiculously warm weekend in late February that drives me wild with Spring Fever.  That is the weekend where i am notorious for searching the classified ads for used motorcycles…

With March around the corner, maybe i’ve dodged my annual bike lust-a-thon and will drop right into my early spring ‘i neeeeeeeed a sailboat’ frenzy.  Yeah, it’s just ‘stuff’… but stuff that gets me out breathing and moving.  And after a winter of mostly sitting on my ass, i am hungry to play in the sunshine.  Palm Springs was such a tease…

Snow days are nice, but there’s no substitute for summer vacation!