The family that moves together…

We’re all moving.  With The Boy starting at the main campus of his university in Sept, he will be joining The Girl as she completes her final year of her undergraduate program.  They will be sharing a two bedroom apartment*.  The Boy is still camping in the great north, and The Girl is finishing up final exams for the summer term.

She will be moving to the new place Saturday.  The Boy will move late next week.  i am moving on Monday.  This is getting really fucking old…  But onward…

The Girl coordinated the Saturday morning move with her father – whose hands are needed since her brother skipped the country** – and he will be meeting us at her apartment.  Today, The Girl mentioned that he is a bit vexed – in a “damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t situation” with his live-in girlfriend

Seems she is annoyed that he and i will be working this together.  She couldn’t decide whether it would drive her more batty to be there, and have to meet me face to face, or not be there, and apparently worry that i’m going to steal him back***.  He even politely offered to handle it without me, to allow me to deal with my own move.  Nice of him, but i’d promised to help her move.  i’m helping her move.

The Girl and i are both in agreement – “WHATEVER! This ain’t high drama, it’s moving shit!”  More hands are better, and it’s nice that she wants to help, and i’ll be polite and keep my breastages under wraps and all that…  Sheesh…  But it does present a bit of extra burden for The Girl.

The Girl:  I’ll have to go to the apartment tomorrow night and clean things up if she’s going to be there…

daisyfae:  yeah, probably a good idea.

The Girl:  I mean, you and Dad already know i’m disgusting…****

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* Yes.  i’m an evil mother.  Getting naked in public, posting my partson the interweb, and all of the other annoying things i’ve done has certainly toughened them up.  forcing them to live together during a year of college should finish the job, and make them numb to life’s twists and bumps… or send them into perma-therapy.

** Not to avoid moving us both.  He’d scheduled this long before we’d planned moves… but his timing in the avoidance of manual labor is impeccable, and he is truly destined for an executive vice presidential position somewhere…

*** “honey, if i’d wanted to hang onto him, you’d still be living under a rock, barking at neighborly rodents.  oh yes i did…. beyatch….”

**** not really “disgusting”, she simply has a high threshold for dishes piled in the sink… we’ve all been there. 

Bears, Beers, BBQs and Boneheads

Just back from a visit to The Park.  The Rehab Center held a Memorial Day BBQ for residents and families today – Mom wasn’t sure she wanted to go, so my sister, S, and i offered to go with her.  It was a well organized event.  I was impressed by the staff working through some formidable logistics, moving 30-40 wheelchair-bound residents to the outdoor picnic facility, feeding and caring for them all with kindness and humor.

Mom, pictured here with her Loogie Bear – as well as a 16 oz bottle of Budweiser – seemed to enjoy the fresh air.  And two plates of picnic fare. 

Always the nurse, however, she only had a few sips of the beer as she was worried about drug interactions.  It didn’t go to waste…

It really was a very pleasant visit.  For the most part, anyway.  After lunch, the three of us were chatting about life, health and luck…  My ridiculously self-absorbed sister, S, managed to once again remind me that i’d done a terrible thing to her last year…

S:  You know, I’m still hurt that you wouldn’t let me come up to help you when you had cancer*.

daisyfae:  i understand that.  But we all deal with these things differently, and i needed to deal with it on my own – with my kids.  It wasn’t a big deal…

S:  But it would have meant a lot to me, and helped me deal with my own cancer, if you’d let me come visit.  I needed to help my sister…

daisyfae:  Sorry, but it was my cancer.  Maybe next time…

At this point, my tongue is developing welts.  In my head, i’m gleefully shouting “Oh, i’m going to post this on the blog, dear sister, and your insane, self-absorption shall be subject to the scrutiny and ridicule of a few bored internet junkies the world!” 

To keep my head from exploding avoid conflict, i got up to help the staff clean up items that had blown off tables after lunch…

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* S insisted that i let her “help” me through breast cancer.  Rather than have a “Clampett’s At the Hospital” scene, i refused to let any of them come up for my  3 hour outpatient surgery.  My children and friends were on the job.  No drama, just lots of “Arm wrestle you for the vicodin” , and stupid potty humor kinda stuff…

Calling Uncle Walt…

When i was diagnosed with breast cancer last year, i asked my sister, S – a 6 year breast cancer survivor – to help break the news to Mom.  Her reaction set the world record for self-absorption.  In fact, i wondered if she would simply implode*….

Earlier this week, i encountered it again.  This time, because i was pretty sure she was jacked up on anti-anxiety drugs**, and because i’ve simply crossed my tolerance threshold, i decided to be a bit more direct with her about this behavior…

Stepping out of the cath lab to allow the nursing staff to do icky medical things to Mom’s incisions, she and i sat in a waiting area.  We’d just learned that Mom will need double bypass.

S (shaking, on the verge of tears):  I can’t take this.  I don’t know what I’m going to do without her!  I’m not ready to let her go!

daisyfae: You really need to think about what Mom needs.  This isn’t about you right now.

S (working up some angry tears): You just don’t understand.  I need her.  None of you need her as much as I do.  You’ll never understand.

daisyfae: Look, we’re all circling the drain!  We can’t change the outcome, we can only affect the path.  Freaking out is not doing anything good for the path…

S: I don’t want to talk about this!  She’s not going to die!

daisyfae: Do me a favor.  Rent The Lion King.  Study the part about “the circle of life”.  Let me know what you think.

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* oh, if it could only happen this way!

** clearly, an insufficient dosage….