Arrival in Ecuador

Just a few quick notes as we head out to explore Quito, Ecuador today…

– The Bathroom angels sang “Hallelujah!”  Plumbing tolerates paper! 

– Fan-damn-tastic meal last night, Broiled Sole in garlic sauce, vegetables, and dessert – plus 3 generous helpings of a local beer – for $18.  Including service.  And the beer angels sang “Uuuuurp…”

– Working girls, casinos and 110V electricity… just like home.

– Let the experimentation begin:  Very close to the equator (Quito is slightly north of 0 degrees).  While not he primary reason for my journey, i am on a mission.  There will be experimental toilet flushing above, below and hopefully AT the equator.  Relax, people, i’m a scientist… i shall seek truth…

“Hell No! We Won’t Ho!”


In a shameless attempt to get women to attend a party wearing as little as possible, a friend is hosting a birthday party this weekend with a “Pimp and Ho” theme. These folks are known to have themed parties, so it’s not a complete surprise. When i asked “what’s the motivation”, the birthday boy simply said “boobies”. Well, at least he’s honest about it.

But honesty notwithstanding, it sort of bugged me. Yes, it would be a fine opportunity for me to unleash the Model Year 2007 Bionic Twins in some fine girl hardware… And it is his birthday. Being a guy and all, that would pretty much prevent the need to bring a gift – he’d never notice the empty hands.

Initially, i thought i’d be attending with a friend. We considered a classic ‘role-reversal’ in our costumes – him wearing the leather corset, me wearing the classic pimp attire. For even more fun, we debated going as a pair of “Ho Ho’s“. Tasty, chocolately fun…

My friend couldn’t make it, unfortunately, and i was back to going solo.  It occurred to me that there was in fact nothing wrong with that idea. I’ve long been a flaming supporter of ‘sex-workers rights’ – for example, i’m always pissed off that the only people doing actual WORK at a strip club are the dancers, while everyone from the DJ to the guys who park the damn cars get a cut of the take. 


Yes, it’s time to unionize! I’m trading in my leather corset for coveralls and bumper stickers! To have some fun with it, i’ve prepared buttons, posters and assorted swag encouraging the ladies to take charge of their own assets.

Ha!  Bet he’ll think twice before inviting me to another one of his parties again…. Hmmm… he’s quite the talented gourmet chef… maybe i should rethink this strategy?


forgive the amateurish graphics and layout here… still learning.  there’s a reason i don’t do this for a living!