Trepidation in The Park this week. My sister, T, decided late last week to come home. Seems her partner had been laying on a heavy guilt trip – “Your Mom had bypass and you didn’t go home for the surgery? What kind of daughter are you?” After a month, she suddenly decided she had to come home, canceling a planned business trip this week.
i understand how hard it has been for her to be far away – even though we’ve provided regular updates by phone and e-mail, and she’s had plenty of opportunities to talk with Mom by phone. And i have been careful not to tell her to stay away – i provide the status, explain current conditions and present Mom’s needs, but it ultimately has to be her decision whether to come home or not…
The night of Mom’s surgery in mid-May, T called me – probably after quite a few drinks – and was saying she would come home, that her partner, LPGA, was making her feel horrible about not being home for the surgery. This conversation – incredibly one-sided, as T doesn’t listen, or seemingly take a breath, when she’s on a rant – didn’t really go anywhere. It finally came to a close after i had to scream at her to shut up and listen to me – she actually calmed down, when i explained that there was really nothing to be done, Mom would be in ICU for at least a week.
The sad nugget buried in this little dance?