Indecent exposure

A Message To The Workshop Dorkboys, meeting in Fort Myers, Florida:

Seriously.  Dudes… Have you never read Sherlock Holmes?  CLEARLY i’m coming in from the pool, as evidenced by my swimsuit, sandals and sarong.  Never mind that my hair looks like a dust devil surrounding my head…

So, as i come into the lobby and make a beeline for the fucking elevator?  It’s not a good time to say “Hey, do you have a minute to chat about Program X?” 

And you, Dude B?  When you see me backing away from  Dude A, trying to get to the elevator as i’m clutching my sarong around my nekkid shoulders?  This is also NOT A GOOD TIME to introduce yourself and say “Hi, I’m Hieronymus Oblivious from TurdTech, Unlimited… aren’t you daisyfae?  You’re on the panel tonight, right?”

i’m half naked.  i have no make up on my face.  i have hair like a hurricane.  We are in a hotel lobby, teeming with conference dweebs.  i don’t wanna chat… Your sorry ass is between me and the elevator.  Fucking move, alright?

Finally, Dickbreath J. Arrogance.  i hired you.  You have personally witnessed numerous daisyfae-fits over the past 6 years.  You know i have low tolerance for assault in public places.  Standing there – being useless while i try to extract myself from conversation with Dr. Oblivious was bad enough.  Tailing my virtually naked ass to the elevator and asking programmatic advice as i dive on the buttons?  No fucking help, dude…

Slow News Day in Geek Town

Slow News Day in Geek Town

Too many late nights…

Outbound on a short-notice trip, i carefully packed my rolling briefcase for a few days on the road.  With absolutely no interest in repeating my forgetful and expensive mistake from the last trip, i made sure i had all essentials.  Chargers, travel toiletries baggie, electronics, reading material… Check, Check, Check, Check… and DOUBLE CHECK.

Leaving the house at 0-dark-thirty for a morning flight, i even carefully checked my wallet to assure drivers license, credit cards, and cash were secure.  Carefully putting both the travel bag and my purse in the back seat.  Staring at them.  Knowing that there was NO WAY i was going to forget them this time.

Hopped in the car, backed out of the driveway and was about a quarter mile down the street when i realized i was barefoot.

Ummm…  close.  so very close…