Deja Vu – Meeting Survival

i’m starting “Day 2” of a three day workshop.  This means that as of yesterday afternoon, we’d accomplished the following:

1) Listened to encouraging words about our tasking.  We were told that we’d been “Selected” for this important task because of our unique and special expertise as Subject Matter Experts*.

2) Were pelted with background information.  Things we need to know to accomplish our mission.

3) Were given our “Charter”!  Go forth and make Powerpoint Chartage!

i was delighted to discover a bootlegable wireless signal from the hosts at the meeting venue.  Spent a small portion of the morning developing my own personal “charter” and “mission statement”. 

Productive, and it kept me away from the donuts… 

VISION:  Continue to receive paycheck.

MISSION:  Appear to be useful / productive / “value added team member”

GOAL:  Survive three day workshop – leaving with zero “action items”

APPROACH:  Drink my weight in coffee.  Caffeine and constant urge to urinate assure consciousness.

OBJECTIVE METRICS:  Stay awake – without electric shock or poking wrists with pen.  Avoid all taskings while appearing to be useful.

THRESHOLD METRICS:  Five minute nap (vertical) per hour of meeting.  Agree to be “Scribe” (which allows for marker-sniffing as a bonus).

Effective Props are Essential
Effective Props are Essential
From the good folks at ThinkGeek!

* Everybody say “oooooooh” and “aaaaaaah”