Slack-attack

Today was that magical wondrous day where i had my annual performance review.  i have a good boss – provides tough, well-crafted challenges, honest feedback, and doesn’t wait until “annual review” time to provide guidance.  Here’s the Condensed Version:

boss:  Your year was excellent.

daisyfae: LOL – seriously, i sucked.  out loud.  and frequently from home.

boss:  You did a great job.  We love you.

daisyfae:  FFS – i phoned it in.  i wasn’t even trying.  i’ve lost the fire…

boss:  You rock.  Here’s a little more money.

daisyfae: [shaking head guiltily]  ok.

Granted, there was more to it than that – some key areas for improvement*.  And i’ve maxed out – unless i change jobs, or take on some ridiculous or herculean amazonian task, i’m flat-lined.  Which is a good thing.  The goal in my world is to hit “Max Pay” as young as you can.  i’m good. 

There’s a bit of guilt, though… A few weeks ago, as i was stumbling into the office about 45 minutes after my official “start” time, i saw a woman in the parking lot who is a well-documented slacker**.  i remember thinking to myself “Damn.  Hope i’m never that big of a parasite.”  Invariably, as i was leaving early that afternoon to run errands?  There she was headed to her car…

i’m just having a “blue period”.  My motivation will return.  i’ll get my geek-a-rific groove back on.  But in the mean time?  Here’s a current favorite tune*** from The Slackers.

Drool on the keyboard has killed my laptop.  Again...

Drool on the keyboard has killed my laptop. Again...

* “Stop tormenting the intellectually challenged and the emotionally unstable”  wasn’t first on the list, but it definitely came up during the discussions.

** i work from home.  she doesn’t.  i’m “on call” 24/7/365 – and will respond to urgent calls from wherever i am, and whatever i’m doing (except *that*).  doubt she does – um, responds, or does *that*.  oh, and i am a helluva lot funnier and dress better.  Fur-lined rubber mukluks with a skirt/suit is NOT a good look for the office.

*** video sucks.  tough to find this one…

Windshield or Bug?

Without doubt, it is extremely satisfying to rant and rage about outrageous and stupid behavior.  In fact, this seems to provide significant fuel for the worldwide blogging community.  This is a good thing, as the release of anger and frustration may prevent workplace violence and road rage.  And, as an added bonus, it’s generally funny as hell…

As I was making my fourth boneheaded maneuver this morning – before I even made it to work – a teeny-tiny, very scary lightbulb appeared over my head…. 

On my way to a doc appointment before work, the “you’re an idiot and are about to run out of gas” warning light came on, making it urgent to find a gas station on unfamiliar turf.  Successful in my quest, i left the gas station and headed to work.  Not knowing the traffic patterns, i realized that with rush hour traffic it might be hours before i could make a direct left turn from the station.  I conceded defeat, signaled, and waited for an opening – planning a u-turn to recover.

As an unexpected opening appeared in both directions, I lurched into the gap, squealing my tires, turning left with my right turn signal blazing.  A fleeting glance in my rear view mirror gave a glimpse of the driver behind me – shaking his head in disbelief. 

He is, at this very moment, blogging furiously about the idiot bimbo in the pimp-gold shitmobile who should be banned from the roads, if not the entire planet.

And it wasn’t even 8:30 am….

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