i should have known better than to drink whisky at a charity auction. Just another Thursday night, and i was hanging out with Studley at a fundraiser for a local community outreach foundation.
Mostly, wanting to drop a little change in the till, peruse the raffle items, and encourage others to empty wallets, it seemed like a pretty brilliant idea. i was also working the network of non-profits, kissing politicians buttbones and making connections to support my pet projects.
Four drinks into the evening, it was time for the live auction. One of the items? A chance to rappel down the side of a 30 story building during the annual autumn city festival. Oh, THAT is a grand item for a woman with a paralyzing fear of heights!
My auction paddle (how DID i end up with an auction paddle, anyway?) jumped into the air and i started the bidding at $500. Mercifully, i was outbid, and somehow found the good sense to put the paddle under my arse and stop bidding when it approached a thousand dollars.
Whew! Crisis averted!
Momentarily, it turns out….
Not fifteen minutes later, there was another item that caught my attention. “Fighter Pilot for a Day”. Hello! What’s that? A chance to do ground school, and then sit right seat in a fast Italian turbo-prop acrobatic plane! Well, that could be a good day.
Paddle flies into the air before i can stop it! Bad auction paddle! Stop that!
It was a bit of a frenzy, as there was a gentleman across the room who seemed fairly intent on indulging his testosterone on a day in the wild blue yonder.
What? Me? i won?
Oh, shit…. Yeah. How’d that happen? Well… ummm…. (heh, heh) It’s for charity, right?
So it’s on. Still to be scheduled, but i’m going to do this. Likely sometime this summer, i am going to put on a flight suit*, do a little bit of training, and launch myself into the sky to do a little formation flying, dogfighting, and underwear soiling.
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This was posted on the book of faces later that night. The next day at the office, i passed a friend in the hallway who had seen it. He stopped me, shaking his head.
Bill: You’re nuts, you know that?
daisyfae: What? i just bought a “Fighter Pilot for a Day”. What’s the big deal?
Bill: Have you figured out what you’re going to do with him yet?
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i’ll admit, this is a little scary. When i went to bed that night i stayed awake awhile, wondering if i could really suck it up, sit right seat in a very fast, acrobatic plane, and set myself up to pull up to 6Gs…
The next morning, i woke up with a very different thought. Sure, i’m afraid of dying. But i’m more afraid of not living. Bring it…
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* i will be wearing a substantial sanitary undergarment under my Muy Macho flight suit. Video is taken in the cockpit. It may be an hour of me screaming…
Trailer Park Refugee 