Getting paint put on my fingernails today at Big Gay Chuck’s Big Gay Hair Salon* with my adorable and feisty tattooed biker-chick nail tech – who works in Chuck’s upscale salon:

client: My hair is doing strange things.  It seems fine and straight on top, but much thicker on the bottom… Are there any styling products that can help?

upscale salon stylist:  Oh, yes, i’ve heard of this – it’s pretty much hormonal.  I’ve found a great product – Straight-Sexy-Smoother – that does wonders for this situation.  You just put a couple pumps on, work it in, then blow it dry.  It doesn’t weigh down the flat parts, but it gently un-curls the ends…

[interminable twenty minute discussion about the types of styling products that are available goes here – including a discourse on a particular miraculous product that changed a womans life…actually taming the frizz without (can you believe it?) taking away the body…]

daisyfae [in her head]: Products?  Hello?  You need some fucking scissors.  It’s called “FRIZZ” or “SPLIT FUCKING ENDS”.  You cut it off, leave it on the floor and move on… or beat it into submission with a flat iron that operates at solar temperatures… 

i must have been passed out drunk in the courtyard during this part of Chick School.  Yet i have a basket full of “hair care products” in my bathroom.  Many of them about 5-10 years old.  The basket holds the door open. 

At 45 years old, i finally understand that there is no amount of money spent on styling products that will make me look like a fucking supermodel.  And the same is true with make up.  It’s Cover Girl or Revlon.  The chemistry is the same – no matter what you fucking pay for it!

i’m just glad my hair grew back**.  Never thought i’d have long hair again… i’ll take a little frizz, thank you very much!


* Not the actual name, but it should be…

** Odd reaction to medication (not chemo) about 6 years ago left me with very little hair.  During that era, i acquired quite the collection of “snap on” hair – which i used to frighten the housekeeping staff of hotels when i’d clip it on mirrors in the bathroom…

Let the sun shine in…

Two weeks before Hair opens, and i’ve attended rehearsals this week.  Beautiful voices, but still a few mised lines, confused blocking and dance misfires.  All in all, it’s in good shape going into the home stretch. 

I was curious to see the infamous “Be In” scene.   When Hair originally opened, the full nudity during this scene was controversial.   The show is dated, though, and not produced very often.  When it is?  The nudity isn’t a big deal for modern audiences.  Most people know what to expect and community standards have evolved over four decades. 

It is a difficult thing, however, for amateur performers to be nude on stage – this is scary enough to warrant an entire category of nightmares!  The directors vision is to see bodies moving, as much skin as possible, and clothing being tossed away.  He is allowing each performer to choose the degree of nudity that is comfortable.

Not knowing what to expect, i was delighted to see this cast embracing their nekkidness – and no, not just because they’re pretty…  Some performers went for “the full monty” (oops, that’s a different show).  Others went with partial nudity, or just removing layers of clothing down to their underwear.

My contribution to this show will be backstage, assisting with props, costumes and the like.  For fun (knowing how much i love this show), the director offered to let me be one of the policemen who arrest the audience and all those naked, stoned hippies at the end of the scene.

Earlier in the week, I was offered a different option.  I now have the opportunity to make a cameo appearance during the “Be In”.

Did i need time to think about it?  About a nanosecond…

Sorry kids, but Momma’s going to be showing some skin on a local stage!  I’ll go ahead and book the therapist now… Are twice a week sessions enough to get started?

Welcome, Sulfur Dioxide!

To avoid therapy maintain some connection with my creative self, i support local community theatre activities, from fundraising to management to performing.  I was recently asked to assist with a production of Hair – being performed in honor of the 40th anniversary.  My, how time flies when your brain is fried from acid and shrooms…

Rather than use original-esque cast members, who would now be in their 60’s, the director cast a collection of young, talented, beautiful 20-somethings (who will look nice nekkid).  After a few rehearsals he realized that these lovely creatures knew exactly dick about the culture that inspired the tribal rock musical.

Calling for a character development meeting with the cast, he invited me, and several other people who were at least alive in the 60’s, to talk about the times. 

ouch.  i had actually considered auditioning for this one…. with the newly reconstructed Model Year 2007 Bionic Twins, i might have pulled it off…[sigh]

So there they were – beautiful, groggy (it was 10 am) and hungry for insight.  The director started with a discussion of post-WWII culture, the creation of the suburbs and the seeds of dissent from the 50’s ‘beatniks’.  He also pointed out that concurrently, there was a great technological boom – we’d entered the space race, putting a man on the moon in 1969.

“Allegedly”, said the beautiful boy at the end of the table (playing Woof).

[light bulb goes off over my head]

“No, that was the 80’s – the cynicism, conspiracy-theory, oliver-stone era.  In the 60’s, it was idealistic – ‘we can make it better, here have a flower and mellow out…’.”

That was the magic of it all – then and now.   Things were bad, but we were going to fix it!  Not a clue how to do that, but it would be all right – some caring people, good music and lots of talking could change the world!

After the character development meeting, hugs all around from the tribesmen of the theater, and into my car.  And a moment of sadness.  When did we stop believing we could fix it?  When did we stop trying?  Why did we stop trying?