Unvarnished and Frightening Truth

As i made my way to the office sign out board this afternoon to signify my departure for yet another roadtrip, i shuffled like an old woman.  i even groaned when i picked up the tiny marker, mounted above the board. 

My division chief enquired as to my damages…

daisyfae:  The gym kicked my ass again today.  Pulled something in my upper back and shoulders, so i switched to a lower body bashing.  i just hurt…

DivChief:  You can’t just do anything like a normal person, can you?  It’s all or nothing…

daisyfae:  It’s just that i want to be able to add “Chin Ups” to the list of tricks i can do to win bar bets.  i can already do at least 40 push-ups on my toes.  Nobody ever expects a lumpy middle-aged chick to be able to do that…

DivChief:  Jesus, woman!  You already scare 99% of us!  You’re going for the other 1%?  Do you understand the concept of diminishing returns?

There was a brief silence as the DivChief and my Admin Assistant (also a man) exchanged that universally understood male facial expression that says “Oh, fuck.  I’ve just gone up shit creek without even a turd for a paddle…”

daisyfae: [busts out laughing]

DivChief:  [breathing sigh of relief] You know, I meant that in the most respectful way possible…

daisyfae: [lumbering slowly on stiff legs towards door, still laughing] Of course you did…

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