Why yes, that is a bullet hole…

Right foot.  .22 caliber if i had to call it… Missed the bones, but will take a few months to fully heal.  Shot from close range, but no powder burns…

Doing last minute preparations before a dinner date last night, and the phone rings.  My initial assumption is that it’s my date, calling to stand me up because he got a better offer… but it was Mom.  Uh oh… Trouble in The Park.

Mom simply asked if i was busy, and had a few minutes to talk.  Out of the ordinary for sure – and clearly not the emergency call i’ve come to expect.  Whew.  i let her know that i had plans for dinner, and would need to leave shortly but absolutely had time to talk.

Winging it’s way toward me from left field came the following:

Mom:  S (my ridiculously self-absorbed 56 year old sister) feels as though you’re discriminating against her.  That you’ve been mad at her since May*, and she is very hurt.

Wandering out to the dining room to sit down, The Boy and The Girl are mucking around, packing up gear to head back to their apartment for a few days… they quickly realize that it’s a “Drama Alert” from The Park after i launch into a short, passive-aggressive rant…

Now, back at Thanksgiving i was pretty fed up with the lot of them.  As i described to a few folks “i’m two chocolate bars short of giving a shit”.  i was prepared to level them.  The timing on this bit of tele-drama was pretty bad from that point of view…

Not sure exactly what i said, but it was a monologue along the lines of – “No, i’m not mad.  ‘Discriminating against her’?  Huh?  i mean, i get frustrated when everyone down there rolls around in the drama, and when people start barking about T(my prodigal brother).  Shit, i mean no one down there really knows me much, or seems to care much about what’s going on in my life, so i’ve just gotten used to it.  It’s ok, though.  i’m not mad.  It’s about meeting people where they are, and i know i’m not going to change anyone, so i just accept the family for who they are and go about my business… i’ll do anything to help, will always come down for get-togethers.  i love you all dearly, but it’s not my job to manage the relationship between S and T, or anyone for that matter….”

Taking a breath, i finally ask Mom “what the hell was it that S was upset about?”

Mom:  Well, DQ and i got Christmas cards from you that had a nice letter, with photos in it… and S didn’t get one with her card, so she thought you just didn’t want to share it with her….

daisyfae:[shocked briefly into silence]  Oh, fuck, Mom… that was a MISTAKE!  i was slamming the letters into the cards on my lunch hour so i could actually get them mailed before February this year, and must have missed one.  i didn’t do it on purpose…. oh, fuck…. no…. please tell her it was an oversight, i can understand why she might be a little miffed… i’ll get a note out to her tomorrow, with an apology…

In the meantime, The Boy and The Girl are sitting on the steps, amused while watching me twist athletically in midair.  The Boy pantomimes shooting himself in the foot.  The Girl just shakes her head sadly…  i mouth the words “BLOG POST”. 

Finally reassuring Mom that nothing is wrong, that i’m fine, love them all, and don’t want there to be any trouble whatsoever over the holidays.  My eyes were doing about 45 rpm in my head at this point – wondering how the hell i was going to avoid holiday drama…

As my date arrived, my phone rang – S was calling.  Oh, no.  i let it go to voicemail… Didn’t Mom tell her i was on my way out for the evening?  i didn’t even bother to get the message until much later.  The final twist?

S:  I found the christmas letter – it was still in the envelope.  Sorry I felt the way I did.  We need to talk.  I think you need someone to talk to.  Maybe we should get together sometime and have a long sisterly talk**.  You don’t have to go through things by yourself.  I want you to know I’m there for you and love you.***

a little more to the right.... that's it!

a little more to the right.... that's it!

*oh, no… it goes back MUCH further than May!  that was just when i instructed her to watch the Lion King and stop the fucking hospital dramatics.  Her insistence that she be allowed to “help” me through the breast cancer was when my tolerance meter pegged out at “Argh”…

** MY BRAIN SCREAMS AT THIS THOUGHT….   Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

*** Crap.  An apology AND a genuine kind thought!  i’ll call her.  i’ll hack up an hour or two of my life and make nice.  She means well.  Really.  But so did a few members of the Bush administration…

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