Short sighted…

Monday morning staff meeting.  Division Chief* goes ‘around the room’ to get scores and highlights from the management team.  Fellow technical advisor, VK, is up…

VK:  I had a good interaction with a funding agent last week.  RJ asked for a short proposal on the self-slicing bread molecule** project.

Who is “RJ”?  Notoriously arrogant, and vertically challenged, man in a position of some authority…

DivChief Nozzle:  RJ?  What’s old RJ up to?

daisyfae [stage whisper]:  About 4′ 9″ last time i saw him… [slaps hand over mouth, too late for effective filtration]

image found here

* Not my beloved former Division Chief, but the new one – a condescending nano-manager, possessing NO sense of humor, and bearing a striking resemblance to a douche nozzle.

** Not a real project.  That i know of…

Hardware Follies

Running errands all morning, one of my stops was at the mega-hardware store for some plants and a tube of caulk to repair my bathtub.  Wandering into the paint section, i was approached by a sexy, tattooed salesman*, asking if i needed help…

daisyfae:  Of course, i need help.  i need to replace the caulk around my bathtub.  i did it a year ago, but apparently used the wrong shit because it’s cracked already.

PaintMan [walking me down the caulk aisle]:  Well, here are the waterproof caulks.  There’s some of the expensive stuff that sets in 2 hours if you need that…

daisyfae:  Nah, just the regular shit i guess.

PaintMan:  Had an Asian couple in here a few weeks back looking for caulk.  Guess it was the accent, but she said  “I’m looking for cock”…  It was hard to keep a straight face, but I said “How much do you need, Ma’am”.

daisyfae [laughing, and looking back at wall of caulk]:  That’s a riot!  Ok, so what kind should i get?  i don’t need the quick set stuff…

i started to reach for a tube of the regular looking caulk, but noticed that there were different colors, and i’d grabbed one that wasn’t white.

daisyfae:  Wait, i don’t want the black cock…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*  It was the same guy from almost two years ago who sold me the pink e-fucking-namel primer for my deck.  And he’s still got the tattoos and is still just as charming…