Mom had an unplanned heart catheterization last week. She went in for a follow up appointment, post-pacemaker, and the doctor seemed to think there was something more sinister going on with her plumbing, since she was still sucking air like a fish out of water. Either the heart bypass graft, from over a year ago, had failed, or there were sneaky little blockages buried somewhere else in her pipes.
Mom has already told us that she will not undergo more heart surgery. Should she be told it’s required? She says she’ll simply say her goodbyes, and call it a life. Since i’ve firmly accepted the “her body, her choice” position in all matters, it’s not my job to try to talk her into something she doesn’t want – but making sure she makes her decision based on as much good data as possible will be a chore.
Wednesday morning, i arrived at the hospital just a few minutes before my niece, DQ, showed up with Mom. Check in and pre-procedure preparations at 0830, and the heart cath at 1030. So we had a bunch of time to kill before they wheeled her out for roto-rooter service, and Mom was very nervous, since she half expected to get the “Game Over” announcement after the procedure.
To keep the conversation as light and fluffy as possible, i started telling Mom and DQ about the upcoming production of “The Great American Trailer Park Musical”. As i described the characters, and unraveled the basic thread of the plot, they both got to giggling at the goofy goings-on. Essentially, a trailer park couple has a marriage on the skids because the wife has been agoraphobic for 20 years since the abduction of their little boy. The husband takes up with a stripper-on-the run, and naturally, hijinks and plot twists ensue.
After unraveling the story for them, and successfully killing another fifteen minutes, DQ looks at me and says “That’s it?” And we both busted out laughing… ” That ain’t Trailer Park. We’ve had worse shit going on just over the past month…”. Still laughing, i said “What do a couple of fancy New York City playrights know about us trailer trash?”
Sometimes, you just have to laugh. Or you’ll go fucking crazy…
Mom’s doing well. The hot cardiologist found an 85% blockage at a bend in her right coronary artery. i asked hot doc to do a biopsy – to see if it was composed of gravy and chicken livers, which is what Mom’s been eating for the two weeks since she had the pacemaker installed. She’s out of the hospital, eating everything that isn’t nailed down, and back living on the bed in DQs living room for a few more days….