Inspired by the scrump-delicious dolce, i’ve dived into the “Smoosh Your Boobies” campaign, led by Olga The Traveling Bra (naturally) and her pal, Claire! Breaking news – they’ve extended the deadline for submission* until November 7th, so there’s still time to join the fun.
Short version: Tape paper to wall. Or just use a wall if you’re not renting your home. Paint breasts**. Smoosh breastages to create art. Grin. Mince about with paint on your boobies. Grin some more!
On the serious side, ladies – do it. It was a routine mammogram that caught the 8mm x 6mm cancer nugget in my left tit. With the advances in digital mammography, they caught it below the traditional detection limit (1cm). A non-aggressive cancer, it was gone within a month, i was on stage for a dance rehearsal (Bat Boy: The Musical) 4 days later, breast reconstruction (ie: “perkification”) a month after that, and a spot of radiation.
Done. If you catch it early, it doesn’t have to be a big deal.
Let’s try an analogy – suppose you can take a simple preventative measure to avoid being chased down, hacked up and eaten by a psychotic serial killer***. A special talisman you can get at the checkout at WalMart. You choose NOT to do this. Based on this choice, you have abdicated your license to bitch about being killed by a psychotic serial killer. Yes, i know that you’re dead, but work with me here…
Ladies: Without our Unalienable Right to possess a License to Bitch, what are we? Vacuous, amiable and complacent tools! If for no other reason, you must get your mammogram to preserve this fundamental right!
Here are the official rules, cut and pasted from dolce’s cut and paste.
How to SMOOSH YOUR BOOBIES:
1. Tape a piece of paper to the wall, at boobie height (on the floor works too)
2. Choose your color(s) of paint
3. Apply paint to bare boobies with a soft brush, fingers, sponge, or whatever
4. Smoosh your boobies onto the paper (you might want to experiment a little with holding them together and/or guiding them into place)
5. Repeat as necessary until desired effect is achieved
7. Take a picture or scan your smooshed-boobies print(s)
Please support this brilliant and tasty creative awareness campaign. And take a few minutes every month to feel yourself up. You’ll be glad you did…
* No, not “submission”, you perverts. “SUBMISSION”… D’uh!
** Perfectly ok to enlist the help of a friend. Or two. If you’re so inclined…
*** OK. It’s a clown. That’s worse. MUCH worse.
**** Or, if you used edible body paints (not that i did, mind you), allow your assistant to help with paint removal. No. i did NOT deploy the dog. That’s fucked up… and you should be ashamed for even thinking that.