When A Candidate Says “Change”…

Take a drink…

Yep.  That’s about the best way to get through a Presidential Debate.  Last night, had a couple friends over to watch John McCain and his jowls debate issues with Barack Obama.  Expecting not much more than “talking points” and practiced oratory, it seemed appropriate to turn the debate into a drinking game*.

Starting rules:

    – Drink whenever a candidate uses that “knuckle point thingie”

    – Drink when John McCain says “Maverick” or “POW”

    – Drink when either candidate says “synergy”

    – Triple tequila shots if either candidate says “Moosehunter”, “Caribou Barbie” or “Bullwinkle Must Die”

We managed to stay reasonably sober, but have some new “drinking triggers” for the next round (Note:  Suggestions Welcome!).  The rules shall be refined.  Seems the ol’ “knuckle point thing” is out of favor.  Mr. Obama uses an odd “finger pinch”, while Mr. McCain gesticulates with open hands.  If we’d done shots for every use of the word “change” or “economy”, we’d still be passed out… 

Bonus points to Mr. Obama for working the word “orgy” into the debate.  In addition to being a very smart man, he is incredibly sexy – not that my vote will be influenced by that in the least.  As my friend said “Yes We Would!”**  Very glad Mr. McCain didn’t use that word – the visual would have left me clawing my eyes out…

Thursday night, we’ll get together again to watch Ms. Palin take stupidity to a new low debate the infinitely blow-hardy Mr. Biden.  We’ll have to work on the game rules for that – but i will be doing shots everytime she says “I’ll get back to ya on that one” and “I can see Russia from my house!”

Regarding content – Star of the evening:  Jim Lehrer was a great moderator.  Dragged them back to the original questions, attempted to pin them down.  Nice.  There was good clarity on differences in foreign policy.  Unfortunately, however, i realized that i am already horribly biased.  Mr. McCain came across to me as a doddering, rambling and bitter man***.  Attacking, smirking and failing on nearly every occasion to answer the questions at hand Spewing prepared factoids, rehashing old infomation and worst of all – misrepresenting the stinky realities of the legislative process – implying that Mr. Obama voted “against our troops” when he’d voted against an unchecked war. 

Mr. Obama?  i heard this crazy thing that sounded a bit like “vision”.  Not an inexperienced rookie, but a deeply intelligent man.  Much more articulate, less bitter, and not prone to the pandering, emotional appeal (McCain’s “Look at this bracelet given to me by the mother of a dead soldier” bit was just pathetic…).

Made the mistake of listening to the “Post Game Wrap Up”.  To hear the “spinners” jabber about “who won” afterwards, i wasn’t sure i’d watched the same event.  Mr. McCain “held his own”?  Huh?  Did i go pee during that part?  Were these people watching a different debate in a parallel universe? 

Only about a month to go.  Thankfully.  i just want to fast forward to see how it turns out… Drinking my way through the debates is just a symptom…

_________

* When i found my son and his friends turning an awful game of video golf into a drinking game, i then realized ANYTHING can be turned into a drinking game… An acoholic epiphany! 

** The Obama Campaign has embraced the phrase “Yes We Can!”….  Oh, we totally would… right there.  on the floor.  with everyone else watching!

*** NOTHING CLOSE to the man who campaigned a few years back and had my attention as a better-than-average candidate.  He choked early in the primary process, but seemed a different man before he sold out to the religious right…