Plus or Minus Five

Five years ago, i first hit the “publish” button on the shiny new blank slate of a WordPress blog.  My stated purpose:

“In a classic sense, i’ve done remarkably well – especially considering i was voted “most likely to be found dead in a gutter” in the ol’ high school popularity poll.

There is, however, a tiny, perhaps moving, boundary i crossed somewhere along the way – averting a likely path into the world of “one bad damn decision after another”.  Part of what i am doing with this forum is to try to understand how that happened…

Parenting two rather extraordinary young adults who share some of my genetics (The Girl, 21, and The Boy, 19), i want to understand how i got out of The Park.  So that i can help keep them out of The Park.”

Those young adults are now 26 and 24, and it is five damn years later.  And still rather extraordinary young adults who probably still share some of my genetics.  And are not in The Park.

Strangely enough, i found myself spending New Year’s Eve doing exactly the same thing i did five years prior.  House dance party, hosted by a friend that i have now known for over 30 years.  Wrote it up in my third damn blog post.

The words i wrote five years ago:  “And my body feels it today… there are certain muscles one only uses for dancing.  Or maybe for…well…horseback riding?  In any case, i was a bit out of shape to survive 4 hours on the floor unwounded.”  Could have been written this morning.  Or afternoon, seeing as i didn’t wake up until after the sun was riding high in the winter sky.

Once again, i danced for fourfuckinghours.  In a smallish costume (due to thermal management interests more than showing of my rack).  And once again, i am feeling it today – in a very good way.

This year, i rang it in with Studley.  Reflecting by the fire pit, it occurred to me that i could pin myself to the exact same place five years prior.  Seven years prior?  i’d met him at a New Year’s Eve party – and it was a casual “drive by” hug that he delivered at midnight that brought us together as friends, and later, as lovers.

Studley:  You know, in five years from now?  You will be retired!  You are planning your last day of work for December 31st, 2017.

daisyfae:  Holy shit!  You’re right!  And i know EXACTLY where i’m gonna be!

Studley:  I’ll plan to be your designated driver.  Pretty sure you’re gonna need a babysitter that night…

And it was off to dance for another couple of hours… Seeing faces i’ve seen for 30 years, and faces i first saw at the November dance party.

i seem to collect good humans in my life – from those amazing childhood friends, to the good people who continue to wander in on a remarkably regular basis, i don’t like to let such people get away from me.  Looking back through the comments?  Some of my regular blog readers have been with me for almost all of that five years – and i am astonished by that fact!

Here’s to old friends – in real life and in the ether of the internet…  And to adventures ahead!  Happy New Year!  Thank you for stopping by – i’m not nearly as sure of what i’m doing out here as i was the day i started, but it feels right.  And so…

and away we go...

Dancin’ in the dark

The past two weeks have been a bit blurry… not any particular thing, just a lot of everything.  The good stuff and the “i’ll take a rain check, thanks” stuff, swirled in a turgid* life-slurry.  Marginal amounts of sleep, list-making during meetings, frantic stops at the grocery for necessities, napping on airplanes. 

Late nights, laughing and drinking and emoting with good friends.  Watching my mother eat like a human termite.  Getting a ‘disconnection’ notice on my sewer and water for failure to pay (HUH? i’ve paid it monthly? What the fuck?) and not having time this week to call to get it sorted.

Plunging through a massive bureaucratic butt-plug and finally getting a start date for a new assignment.  Eventually convincing my boss that the best thing for the organization is for me to go away… Taking my first cartload of ancient reports and files to the shredder bins.  Shuffling my feet in a happy dance to the music in my head as i pushed the empty cart back to my office.

Having visitors for seven straight days.  Four days with Mom – tense at first, but unexpectedly pleasant.  Three days with a great friend who was in town – warmth, late nights and the traditional “groping of the breastages”….

Friday night – finally!   My plans for the evening disintegrated – a calenderically-challenged DJ / dance buddy had gotten the date wrong for a performance event.  That’d be for tomorrow night… oops.

Home.  Alone.  Quiet.  Munching over my options…

Hopped in the jeep and dragged my mutt to the dog park for some butt sniffing (him), ball chasing (also him) and mindless drooling (both of us…).  Gorgeous night.  Painfully blue skies.  Yips and squeals of the kids on the playground punctuating the start of summer.  On the drive home, being splattered with dog spit as Mr. Pickles recovered in the breeze, i decided that a ‘down night’ was in order.

Settling in to catch up on work e-mail, i queued up the audio tracks**.  Decided to try a different channel… something new.   Found one with a rather stupid name “AM Radio Hits”.  Thinking that i was susceptible to a slide back into the dark places i’ve been scouting lately, this seemed an upbeat, mindless soundtrack to have rolling in the background.

First song?  “Get Up Offa That Thing“***, James Brown.  As i wandered into the kitchen, shakin’ my ass as if my life depended on it, i decided that it would be perfectly ok to finish half a bottle of wine while eating cinnamon bagels for dinner.  My toaster was toasting away, cinammony goodness wafting into my brain and the next song began: “I Think I Love You“, Partridge Family.  ISHITYOUNOT.  Partridge.  Fucking. Family.

Within seconds i reverted to the socially retarded 10 year old girl with a drool-festooned crush on David Cassidy.  i’m dancing in the kitchen.  Show-choir style.  Jazz hands, bitches!  Checking my form in the reflection of the microwave oven.  “I’m afraid that i’m not sure of, a love there is no cure for……” [screaming while striking a pose] “I THINK I LOVE YOU!”

From there?  “Joy To The World“, Three Dog Night, “I Second That Emotion“, The Miracles and “Low Rider“, War.   But then this happened.  Within seconds, i was literally jumping on my furniture, sproinging merrily around my living room.  “Bright Side of The Road“, Van Morrison. 

Joy.  Experienced with the person i’m going to spend the rest of my life with… She’s ok sometimes.  She doesn’t dance nearly as well as she thinks she does, and her voice is a bit strained at the high end.  But she’s a good fucking time…

My dog?  Thinks i’m batshit…

* “turgid” is my favorite word in the english language.  especially when paired with “loins”….

** Rhapsody.  Streaming on-line digital audio for about $12/month.  Anything i want.  Whenever i want it…  About a bazillion channels, with names like “Acoustic Dawn”, “Big Classic Rock” and “Alternative Hits”… i also make up mood/activity driven playlists.  Like a big-ass iPod, wired throughout the Barbie Dream Condo.  Sometimes it makes me so happy to have a soundtrack anywhere i am at home that i just want to pee my pants.

*** If you do not at least do a little head boppin’ when listening to this song?  You are dead.  Seriously fucking dead…. or seriously fucking white….