Autoerotica

Six distinct moments in my life.  i can tell you exactly where i was, what was happening, how the air smelled, the time of day, who else was present.  But mostly?  What I felt… because i experienced “love at first sight”.

It hits hard, fast, and with tremendous power.  Electricity.  Every sense tingling.  Heart racing.  Butterflies wearing combat boots trampling your guts. Trying not to give yourself away.  Knowing that you are momentarily insane, but not being able to stop yourself from falling headlong into that warm, boiling abyss.

Each time, i gave myself over to it.   Each time, i was fortunate discover the feelings to be mutual.

Dragging out the first part of the relationships – forcing myself to slow down.  The ‘getting to know you’ bit is intoxicating.  Fighting the urge throw myself into the fire with abandon and feel it all at once.  Let it consume me.

Six distinct moments in my life.  Three of these moments involved men.  One was a motorcycle.  The other two?  Fast cars.

My first auto-erotic experience was with a 1992 Dodge Stealth ES.  She was sexy, sleek and handled like a Formula One machine.  Slung low, with a wide stance and giant racing tires, she hugged the curves – knowing where to go before i touched the wheel.  That beast could read my mind, and we enjoyed an eleven year (and 88,000 mile) affair.

It ended because she became unreliable.  i was traveling 120 miles each day to assist with care for my father in 2001 and could not afford to be without transport.  With my spawn approaching the legal driving age, getting the speedy wheels out of the driveway was prudent.

At first, i tried to find a new owner for her.  More than selling the car, i was interviewing prospective parents – “Do you have a garage?”  “Tell me why you think you deserve to own this vehicle?” These questions didn’t attract serious buyers.  With a heavy heart, i traded her in, leaving the dealership in tears behind the wheel of my new car.  A car that could never take her place.

~~~~~

Studley and i arrived at a SCUBA party last July fashionably late.  Parking in the field adjacent to the house, we made our way through a warren of parked cars.  In the twilight, there was a radiant gleam – a softly shining silver machine that caught my full attention.

“Damn!  Would you look at that? Sorry honey, i might be leaving here with someone else!”

Not a straight line to be found on her pristine body.  Daring me to touch her.  Teasing my aching hand with her delicious curves.  Desire stirred within, but i had to keep walking. This was difficult due to the size of my virtual erection.  She belonged to another. With a final glance over my shoulder, i moved on…

Upon arrival, we learned that the owner of  the silver temptress was a young friend, Rob!  Since I’m not a Cougar, Studley was assured company on the drive home, but we had a fine time chatting about the latest acquisition to his collection of vehicles.

My unrequited lust momentarily quenched…

~~~~~

It was an unexpected delight to see her again in November!  Rob and i had planned a coffee date, and he wheeled up in his shiny siren to pick me up.  Turns out, the lust hadn’t gone far, and the fire was instantaneously re-ignited.

He mentioned that he might sell her, as he’d recently had to buy a car for his sister, and needed to cut back his collection.  He let me drive her.  i made an offer before the accelerator hit the floorboard.  We set a date.  That date was last Tuesday.

Sitting with the loan agent at my bank: “Rather than a ‘private sale’, this is more of an ‘open adoption’, as he will maintain visitation rights. Unsupervised visitations, of course!”  She smiled politely, and continued processing the paperwork, no doubt thinking that i was insane.

new baby

Tuesday night, i drove that sexy silver ’07 Jaguar XK home – with my somewhat forlorn ’05 Honda Civic looking on from the street.  She is getting used to her new home, sharing space with my ’83 Jeep CJ-7, and the ’91 Suzuki VX800 already comfortably settled in my garage.

i look forward to getting to know her, taking my time… savoring each moment.  Once the weather improves a bit…

How do you know it’s real?

It was love at first sight.  i saw her in the parking lot at work. Two weeks ago.  Suzuki sport/tour bike.  Candy Apple red, with a gleaming v-twin bouncing the morning light in my eyes.

“What IS that?  She’s beautiful!”

“97 Suzuki.  Thinking about selling it.  Bought it two years ago, and don’t ride it much.”

“Sold.  How much you want for it?”*

Grinding the gears.  Getting a feel for the brakes.  Nearly doing a face-plant into a telephone pole on the test ride.  Loving the warmth of the engine underneath you.  Slowly letting yourself un-pucker on the 30 mile ride home, with Studley in the chase vehicle**.

Heart racing when you see her.  Pupils dilated.  Face flushed.  When she’s between your legs, you’re scared shitless, but you don’t want to ever, ever stop…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* Yes.  i know this is not proper bartering technique.  Fuck it.  Who’s to argue with true love? 

** If i lay down the bike, it’s nice to know that the person running over me will be my best friend.  Driving my car.