Bad Theater: Coping 101

Creating a new play is not easy.  Creating a new musical is even harder.  But it has to start somewhere, and our local theater troupe bravely tackled a never-before presented musical.

So our expectations were well-managed before we agreed to attend.  Andie, who played my “little sister” in the Trailer Park musical in 2009*, had a role in this show, and was also making sure that we had sufficiently lowered expectations before we arrived…

“You probably want to turn this into a drinking game.  It’s really bad.”

That suggestion was roundly accepted within a fraction of a nanosecond.  But what to drink to?  It’s not like it’s a political debate, where it’s completely predictable, and you can always default to drinking when someone uses the “knuckle point” maneuver…

“The Diva hasn’t bothered to learn her lines.  She’s hidden them all over the set, all over her props.  And she STILL messes up…”

We knew we could work with that.  After confirming that it wouldn’t run over two hours, we made plans for packing in supplies.  Good sized flask** of whiskey in my hip pocket.  Another friend pre-gamed at a local pub.  Studley prepared a vodka tonic concoction that he wore in his “Beer Belly“.

Other than the fact that he looked pregnant, no one could really tell that he was loaded with distilled potatoey goodness!

When did we drink?  Whenever The Diva was obviously reading her lines from a prop.  Or, whenever she flubbed one despite the fact that she had them in her hand.

Four of us were hammered by intermission.

Leonard Pinth-Garnell.  Courtesy of Saturday Night Live

* Andie and i were in the Trailer Park with The Diva.  Yes.  And it is the same Diva in the current show that has made a difficult situation worse.  At least she’s consistent…

* i didn’t wear my “Wine Rack”.  We had plans to go out to the local dive bar for drunk karaoke afterwards, and i was afraid of a blowout…