Canis Interruptis

Sometimes, dogs happen. After a little over a year with Tank (foster pitbull), his forever home was ready, and he rolled on to happily ever after. He was a remarkable dog, and healed my heart after i lost my canine life partner, Mr. Pickles.

i don’t do well without a dog.

Invariably, i mentioned this to my friend who runs a local rescue operation – between long trips, i might be able to handle a short-term foster. Just a few weeks.

So there was this street puppy, just a few months old. Owners had abandoned her, and she’d been found terrified, hanging out in an alley. A neighbor brought her in to get her out of the cold, and now the rescue was looking for someone to level her out and help find a forever home.

Gidget lap.jpg

Meet Gidget.

A puppy. In general, i like my dogs like i like my men – older, housebroken, and with low expectations. She is all puppy. Energy and few social skills. It became apparent within a couple of days that she was totally adorable, and completely deaf.

Not only had i taken in a puppy, but a deaf puppy. A few youtube videos later, and i’m not only trying to teach her to shit outside, but i’m teaching her sign language. She’s a pretty quick study, or this experiment might not have continued.

She seems to understand the sign for “toilet” – meaning “stop sniffing every blade of grass and do your damn business because it’s fucking cold out here”. She is learning “stop that, damn it”.  i’m pretty sure she understands “good girl”, because i’m now getting wags. Because she’s an adolescent, i have also had to teach her “look at me”, because if she doesn’t want to “hear” what i’m saying, she’ll avert her eyes.

Gidget teeth

“Stop biting me, damn it!” is another sign she has mostly mastered. Fortunately for both of us. Have i mentioned that i’m not fond of puppies. Landsharks. Puppies are, in fact, assholes.

Being deaf brings another issue – she has grown to trust me, and as such, i cannot be out of her line of sight for long. At night? She has to be absolutelyupinmybusiness, as close as possible. It makes sense – if she were in the wild, and under attack, she would have to rely on the reaction of other packmates. i am her only packmate, so when i have to get up to pee in the middle of the night, it’s a party.


But she’s adorable. And tomorrow i am taking her to meet her adoptive momma. A friend with a few other dogs which will make this pup feel far more confident. Fostering dogs may be my only responsible option for the next few years, as the long-term travel gigs are starting to mount up.

Gidget sleep

One more night with this sweet, needy gooberdog wrapped around my head. She’s a lucky pup, it’s been a good run, but i look forward to having my own space back as i prep for the next adventure.

Next up? i have no idea what i’m doing, but i’m fully committed. Gonna take a very, very long walk, with nothing but a 15 pound pack on my back…

Surreal vs Absurd

 “This is so fucking surreal!”  Words uttered by my daughter very early this morning…

Somewhere around 2:00 am, i pulled my car onto the shoulder of an interstate highway, just in front of a police car with the lights flashing.  Checking for traffic, i walked back towards the flashing lights.  First my daughter appeared through the blinding lights, followed by the silhouette of the officer.

daisyfae:  You’re ok!

The Girl [noticing my outfit under the black leather trench coat]:  Jesus, Mom!  Where were you?

daisyfae:  Fundraiser… A costume party!  Raising money to renovate the canoe club.

Officer Snarky:  We have a “canoe club”?  Seriously?

daisyfae:  Christ!  i took off the feather boa and General’s hat! 

In the meantime, Studly McRocklegs has inspected the damage on the car. 

Studly:  Do you want to see this?

Walking over, i notice fur everywhere.  As if it had snowed deer fur.

daisyfae:  Damn!  This could have been a lot worse.  Where’s Bambi?

The Girl points to a large tan lump on the edge of the grassy median strip.

daisyfae:  Sucks to be him…

We unload her gear into my car, Officer Snarky returns to his vehicle, saying he’s just going to fill out paperwork, update his facebook status, call a few friends, while we wait for the tow truck. 

The Girl:  This happens every time i’m about to leave the country*!  It’s a jinx!

daisyfae:  You’ve never been at fault in any of these accidents.  Nothing you can do to avoid a suicidal deer, either. 

After the tow truck arrives, and starts to haul the car onto the flatbed, we head back to my car. 

Studly [to The Girl]:  Do you want to ride up front, or in the back seat with the Djembe drum and hula hoop?

The Girl: I’m a vegetarian!  I don’t kill things!

We got home, and somewhere toward sleep around 4:00am.  She had to be at work at 6:00am.  i drove. 

Just another Saturday night.  And what is the difference between surrealism and absurdism?  Does it matter?

* For three trips overseas, she’s ended up involved in some sort of car accident within a week of her departure.  In this case?  i was really looking forward to having access to a non-shitmobile while she studies in London for a month.  My guess is that the car will be in the body shop for most of that time…