Hey, baby!

In general, i don’t like babies. Never have been one to fuss and flutter when a swaddle-load of fresh human showed up in a room. Don’t get me wrong – i appreciate babies. Some of the best people i know were once babies, so they are pretty important in the grand scheme of things… i just don’t have an overpowering desire to hold them, make goo-goo eyes, and spew the babytalkin’ words.

A little over a year ago, i wrote of an unexpected adventure – visiting my son, his Serious Girlfriend, and her son while my daughter and her husband were visiting the U.S. Over the course of the next few months, Serious Girlfriend became Wife. They bought a house and settled into a new life together.

Those of you who have been along with The Trailer Park from the early days may remember some of the challenges i experienced with The Boy during his youth. It wasn’t pretty, and i developed a mantra – ‘keep him alive until he’s 25’, hoping that he would level out.  Testosterone is known to retard brain development in males, and by the age of 25, men have caught up with women in maturity. i just wasn’t sure he’d make it that far.  The Army captured his interests at the age of 24 – and he did coast through the 25th birthday unscathed.

If you had told me then that The Boy would be a strong husband, loving father, and dedicated homeowner before his 29th birthday, i’d have probably laughed myself to tears. Not the sweet, gentle tears that slip delicately down the cheek and leave a tiny wet drop on a blouse… but ugly, snotty, out-of-control sobbing tears. “That’s just cruel! That can’t possibly ever happen!”

Because i was that scared…

But here we are… and here he is. Smart, fierce wife – a woman so remarkable that she has Tamed The Wild Man. Sweet, giggly two year old son, Max.  A home. Life as an Army Sergeant. They spent time this spring building a garden, and a chicken coop for future chickens… and became pregnant – with a due date in mid-September!

Surprised he didn’t get whiplash from the sudden change in his lifestyle!

To lend a hand, Studley and i went out a few days early to assist with projects, and get Max used to having us around. He is king of the backyard domain, and it was fun watching him organize a rescue mission with his fire truck collection. After a dinner out, and settling Max in for the night, The Boy and his wife headed to the hospital on Thursday night.

backyard

By early Saturday morning, Ellie made her appearance – both Mom and baby healthy! We took Max to visit. Two years old is pretty young to really understand the arrival of a sibling, but he was a champ – happy to see Mom and Dad, and curious and gentle with the tiny person sleeping on Mom.

Max meets Ellie

After they returned home, we covered basics – food, dishes, laundry – and general entertainment for an energetic 2 year old. We poked at projects, took morning hikes, and watched kids so they had a ‘date night. Wisely, they chose a ‘date matinee’, knowing they would likely enjoy lunch and a movie more than dinner and a movie, given their general state of sleep deprivation.

As i mentioned at the start of this post – in general, i don’t like babies. But holding Ellie sent me tumbling back through all of the memories of the early days with The Girl and The Boy when they were fresh… Seeing the perfect round face, long fingers. The tiny toes that try to grip a nearby finger. The Moro Reflex – watching the remnants of our evolution in a startled baby.

It was natural to flashback to delivering my own two spawn onto the planet, but this time there was something far better – watching my adult son as he starts this adventure. Knowing his pride, joy and fears. I’ve enjoyed seeing him with Max – who was part of the package deal that came with his wife. He has become a great father – and now has another tiny little face that is counting on him to grow her into a good human.

so damn tiny

“Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you’ve got a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies – ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.’ ” – Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

18 thoughts on “Hey, baby!

    • i never aspired to be a grandmother… wanted my children to do their lives their own way, and assured them i’d love them regardless of their decisions. but i have to admit, this is nice…

  1. The only babies I have been interested in were my own; those are different. And it doesn’t sound like the testosterone has had much of an effect on The Boy, given the way he’s negotiated his way round the world.

    • i always felt the same way – but was surprised to have such a strong reaction when seeing my ‘baby’ with his own. all babies sort of look alike (just like Churchill as an old man), but i think she looks like him. The Boy has done remarkably well – i just wasn’t sure he’d survive those very difficult years.

    • Yeah, you’re part of the old guard. As i waded back through the old posts to find the one linked above (one of the more visceral posts regarding the situation), i shed a few tears remembering what that all felt like… that feeling of knowing you’ve done all you can do, you might lose a child, and there wasn’t anything more to be done. Horrible feeling….

      But that is gone. And he has a daughter. And we both acknowledged that he DESERVES a daughter! He wasn’t a terrible cad, but there is justice in him having a daughter.

    • It’s all worked out well… there may be more trips out west to provide support, as Sgt Boy has more training ahead and will be gone, if not deployed. i’m enjoying this phase of life…

  2. When i see that number of “25” and remember reading about the boys trials and tribulations i can only congratulate him for getting it sorted, at 25 i was just starting another phase of How Fucked Up Can I Get? i could present the laundry list of substances but i’ll save that for the lounge, i didn’t really straighten out until sometime after 40, but like the true fuck-up that i am i “always had it under control”, now i’m addicted to jogging and shit… i’m also glad i lived far enough away from my parents so that they didn’t see what a raging maniac i was, my old man knew and expressed his worry but as he used to say, “if i don’t get a call from jail or the morgue i figure you’re okay.”

    And i’m cool with babies oddly enough, i find babies like to stare at me and i like to stare at them all while telepathically communicating of course, i think they dig the rumble of my voice too, i’m guessing the boy will be one helluva daddio and that grandma-ma will be most delighted in the watching of her son in this whole process, congrats to all y’all or as we say here in Pennsyltucky, yinz.

    • You’re just an over achiever, babe! Trying to collect the whole set of pharma while you were out there in the game… i suspect that if The Boy hadn’t met his wife, he’d still be volunteering for every deployment, and finding new ways to push the limits. Now? He’s just hoping to get out in a year before he has to go to the sandbox and get shot at…

      One of the odd things i find myself doing, especially with the 2 year old? Just watching him. He spends a lot of time getting ridiculously dirty in the back yard – organizing his trucks, people thingies, and dinosaurs into seemingly complex scenarios. He does this with great focus, and the toys are arranged, and re-arranged, and moved, and then the tow truck or a bulldozer comes in and it all starts over again. What’s going on in that little head? What is he sorting out? What is he piecing together? I was just happy sitting outside with a cup of coffee and watching him do his thing… which also included eating some dirt (GammaFae approves… great for the ol’ immune system!)

  3. it’s incredible, right? we never figured on being grandparents, the krewe married and it seemed kids were not going to be part of their lives which was fine by us because they were living their lives. now here we are with 3 grands and everyone is happy! (we have a 5 year old ellie!) 😉 xoxox

    CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL!

    • Yes! Between Studley and i, we have 4 adult children – and didn’t see strong probability that any of them would be likely to have kids – it’s not our business, so we just chucked the idea aside. And then this happened… Boom!

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