Squashin’ the bugs…

A funny story from the road…

Traveling this week. Conferencing, to be specific. That means a seemingly endless number of side meetings, while attempting to get my science on. i was invited to a lunch meeting on the top floor of the conference hotel, in Monterey, California.

It was me, with six men… i work in Sausage Land, also known as the Technology Sector, and am often the sole female at the table. With amazing views from the balcony, i suggested we lunch on the patio – but one of the men, James, (vice president of some sort) said “I need to avoid the sun”, so i went out to move the large, stone-topped table so there would be sufficient shade.

the motherfucking view

Mark (CEO of an organization i work with, and James’ boss) said “Hey, we’ve got menfolk. Don’t hurt yourself” as i went to lift it. Dan (another attendee) and i, kept going. Others joined to help. i lifted my end of the table, but they thought the table was bolted to the patio and gave up. Dan and i kept going, and within another minute, un-wedged the table and got it moved to provide shade.

i walked back into the suite and told the others we fixed the table, and could lunch outside, while taking in the incredible view. James thanked me and i said “Mark means well, bless his heart…. but i can probably bench press more than he can!” which got a HUGE laugh! i told James “Be sure to tell Mark i said that…” and we proceeded to have lunch.

squash all the bugs

There’s more than one way to squash a well-intentioned, yet patriarchal bug…

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22 thoughts on “Squashin’ the bugs…

  1. There must be hundreds of things i don’t have the strength to do, but I’ve never understood that “little missy” put-down.Comes of being raised by a Dad who appraised people on merit, not cliche.

    • He’s generally a reasonable human, and we’ve developed a functional working relationship over the past few years. I’ve learned that ignoring his gender-based commentary is best, and I just work past it…I simply cannot change his opinions, style or beliefs. it was fun to have a chance to bust his chops in front of one of his (apparently) more enlightened colleagues – who seemed to find my slam quite entertaining…

  2. It is bugs like that bless him, that make me revel in not fitting in! I don’t often get a line like that unless i’m sitting down. Once my 6ft frame stands up they just don’t know what to do with me, loves it! Friends get quite the teehee out of it. Enjoy the sun!

    • Oh, to be six feet tall! I’d wear heels, too! I am working on getting my big ol’ veined and ripped biceps back… I used to have them. In a meeting when people would start acting up, I’d take off my jacket and give a little flex… Used to shut ’em up. Use the power for good, sister! 🙂

    • I don’t know if his colleague said anything yet, but in a committee meeting at lunch today, he made another ‘ladies’ comment and I said out loud “Awww…. bless your heart, Mark” and moved on. It’s pretty effective…

    • I’m sure you still get the stupid comment now and then… and I’m also sure you’ve perfected the look that says “I’ve got a disability, I’m not stupid!”

  3. Too sensitive? I wasn’t there so have no idea of how he said it. But using “menfolk”, yeah not a great choice. Hopefully if he had phrased it in a more general “do you need extra help” I suspect you would have just accepted it as an offer of help. I’m not very athletic. Only once during officer training school. I learned gender didn’t have much to do with one’s ability to kick my ass. I tried to learn charming.

    • It was in the tone of “don’t hurt yourself, honey”… i wasn’t really angry, just irritated… Agree that a “Hey, do you want help?” would have been absolutely fine! In my opinion, ‘charming’ goes a long way! 🙂

  4. One is shy of the sun, another one doesn’t want the little girlie moving the table… Jeez, what a bunch of wussies you work with! 🙂

    Well said, daisyfae, keep it going.

    • This guy lives in the desert southwest, where the sun is absolutely brutal. As a balding gentleman, i suspect that he’d had a round or two of skin cancer – pretty common here (i had a chip removed from my nose about 5 years ago). Not unreasonable to avoid the searing sun in these parts… Unlike England, where i suspect it isn’t quite the same problem!

      and i STILL can’t figure out how to comment on your blog… will keep reading, though! you entertain the hell out of me!

  5. Hello Lady, i appreciate all the comments over at the lounge, i figure i’d just respond here cuz that way it’s all in one place, party out of efficiency and partly cuz i’m a lazy git… i understand why the “fuck people” meter is off the charts, that bit you told me was a major asshole move by the perpetrator, the kind of shit you get sued, as for the Package Thief i still chalk it up to stupidity and a lack of conscience and self awareness, he doesn’t understand what his actions are going to do to himself and his kids, luckily i scare the shit out of him, for awhile i was just looking for an excuse to throttle the fucker and while that would make me feel a bit better what than am i teaching my sons? so i try to do what i feel is right knowing i have two young sets of eyes watching my every move and as you know they are much more important to me than a fucking petty criminal loser, i want to tell that fuck-o i was a kingpin a lifetime ago and the cops never knew my name but he wouldn’t get it so why waste the breathe…

    Glad to hear things are going well and you’re keeping yourself busy, hope the daughter and the boy are healthy and happy and if you do find yourself in the Burgh let me know, these days i don’t much leave the house and i’ve pretty much given up drinking for all intents, i may have a beer or two but after my last bad hangover last summer i woke up and said never again, my love of cannabis has taken a strong hold and these days i much prefer a toke or four than the bottle, both to relax and ease the old back and knees from the creakiness, beside all the studies tell me it’s good for me, lol, helps prevent brain tumors and certain cancers and keeps me from being a drunk asshole… these days i refer to myself as Benson, the butler from the old sit-com, i drive and clean and cook and my favorite thing coach, get to coach the I-mac’s basketball team in the championship game tomorrow and then coach Nick D’s b-ball team later on and then a soccer team (I-mac’s) later that night, who woulda thunk it? easily one of the most satisfying and gratifying things i do… so don’t be a stranger, as an OG member of the lounge the old place misses you too!

    • Benson… i like that… i coached my kiddies mini-sports teams. i wasn’t skilled enough (or a big enough asshole) to coach serious sports, but softball, soccer, and basketball when they were little sprogs was a shitton of fun! i bet the kids absolutely adore you!

      The kerfuffle with the batshit crazy one was a mild, and momentary annoyance. Continuing to pinch off any more bullshit, and documenting like a pro in case i need to go get a mouthpiece…

      i still like to drink. can’t do anything else because of the pesky day job, so it is my vice of choice. keeping it to the weekends keeps it manageable for me… and avoiding excess. That helps, too!

      Will figure out when to get to the ‘burgh… i just think it needs to happen…

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