Un-fucking Myself in 2014: Final Update

At the beginning of the year i had three broad goals – un-fuck my apparently broken finger, un-fuck my space (get rid of stuff) and un-fuck my body (get more exercise, eat better, lose weight).

With quarterly reports in April, June and October i captured my progress/regress as the year rolled by.  Here are the final scores and highlights.

Finger:  Un-fucked.  No surgery required.  This one was as simple as shaking off the anxiety and going to the doctor.  Follow through with physical therapy resolved most of the dysfunction. i consider this one done.  The lesson learned:  Rather than fret and make yourself crazy worrying about the possibility of surgery, or other drastic treatment?  Just go to the doctor and get professional help.  Problems are not solved inside your damn head!

Space:  A strong start in January and February, but i bogged down into the Spring and Summer.  After taking on Mom’s estate, and the associated mounds of paperwork, i regressed a bit – there are still piles of paperwork all over my office, but i will be ahead for the year once i close out estate business.

Body:  Mostly failed on this one.  On the bright side?  With the support of Studley as my accountability buddy, i managed to keep up a nominal 3 days/week gym schedule for the entire year (including two visits this week).  After a great start, losing 25 pounds, i regressed substantially by going back to my highly emotional eating habits.  Re-gained almost 15 pounds, so my net loss for the year was only 10 pounds.  This pisses me off, and i have no one, or nothing to blame, but my own undisciplined ass.

This was also the year i buried my mother.  We knew it was coming, and given her state of health, it wasn’t a surprise.  Regardless of your age there is a bit of an emotional sucker punch when you become an adult orphan.  i don’t want to use this as an excuse, but i am a bit more gentle with myself because of it.

Beyond that transition, and the quest for un-fuckage, it was a damn good year.  Time spent with my independent, adult children – it brings tremendous joy to watch them move confidently into their lives, following deliberate, chosen paths.  Time spent with my companion, enjoying two dive trips to warm, exotic locations along with many other adventures (large and small!).  Time spent with friends – some from my childhood, some i’ve only known a few years.  i am surrounded by good humans!

Reindeer Poo

Time spent with this ol’ fella.  When i started this blog in 2007, i really didn’t expect he’d still be with me – big dogs tend not to live as long as the little yappy ones…  He’ll be 14 in June.  Despite a serious health scare in November, he’s still going strong.  i sleep with this goofball every night – although he’ll need a ramp to reach the bed before long.  Perhaps one of the best things?  i had another year with Mr. Pickles.

Despite being somewhat random with my blogging last year, almost walking away from it several times, i’m feeling the urge to write again.  i’ve been living aggressively.  i have been immersed in some serious life business.  i am planning my retirement.  i feel the need to use this space to hoark up the things that are rattling around in my head, and organize my thinking.

Hoping the new year finds you all healthy and looking forward to what lies ahead!  i’ll be right back…

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20 thoughts on “Un-fucking Myself in 2014: Final Update

  1. I think you did well, given the challenges you’ve faced. Cut yourself a little slack. It’s always two steps forward and one back. Such is the human condition. Internet hugs, and best wishes for the new year.

    • Thanks, Lady! Overall, i really can’t complain – agree that i was lucky to make what little progress was made. Better than looking back and not feeling like i solved anything that was dogging me a year ago! Onward!

  2. 10 pounds is a shit load better than more pounds! i think with the strain of losing mum you’ve done great, love reading and hi to studley and pet pet to mr pickles

    • A good point! If i hadn’t lost that 25, i’d have been up 15 for the year! Ha! Math! Will pass along regards to the menfolk! Here’s to a great year ahead for you!

  3. I’d say you did an outstanding job of unfucking!
    Be kind to yourself …. you’ve had some ball busters thrown at you.
    Besides, you woke up on this side of the dirt, right?
    Your mind is (mostly) in tact?
    No parts falling off?
    Then you have substantially unfucked yourself.

    Best wishes, lot’s of peace, love and happiness in the coming year and here’s to more unfuckage!

    xoxoxoxoxoxo

    • Thanks, Ms. Scarlet! There will be another year of unfuckage ahead of me… well, attempted unfuckage. Agree that waking up in the new year with another day topside is a great start! Hoping you and your kidlets have a grand year ahead! Xoxoxoxo

    • Wishing you a wondrous new year as well, dear lady! Mr. P has suffered the indignity of the antlers for many years. This year? i hired a pro to capture the shot. She was amazing and that was the result. Worth every penny!

    • In general, i don’t like to make excuses. Being one of the privileged, i can blame no one but myself for my successes or failures. Will redouble efforts for the coming year to continue progress. Eh… the journey, not the destination, right?

  4. Yes, indeed, it’s the journey that should count.Some we plan like a military strategy.But I think the odd detours, the rest stops, the lack of maps…make for greater interest.
    It’s taken me pretty much the whole year to come to terms with a few of the pot-holes and speed bumps in my road, but hey! my wheels are still rollin’ so I’m still on the journey.
    Luck and love to you, my friend.

    • Hoping for steady progress this year – and know there will be bumps, large and small, along the way. They can make it more interesting, that’s for sure! i’m a huge fan of contingency planning – always have Plan B, and Plan C. Remembering my trip to Greece with one nursemyra and dolcevita a few years ago, we sat in a waterfront cafe in Mytilene, Greece… flight canceled due to transportation strike. i had suggested we build in an extra day in Athens before catching our flights home, and we were waiting to find out if the overnight ferry was going to sail – it could get us back to Athens in time to catch our flight. Nursemyra asked “What’s Plan C?” and i said “i don’t have one. Guess we have to stay here!” A pretty good Plan C, in hindsight…

  5. Old basketball players like me wear our fucked up fingers as a badge of honor, you should see both my pinkies, one i broke last year dunking a basketball (on an 8 1/2 foot hoop) while coaching the childrens… if it’s any consolation i shit the bed on the whole unclutter the house shit too, but as us Cleveland sports fans are prone to say, “there’s always next year”… and damn that Mr. Pickles, laying there all cute and shit, almost makes me want to get a dog… almost… happy new year Lady!

    • It’s still bent – maybe 20 degrees off straight. Better than the 60 degree angle i had a year ago… i just don’t worry about needing surgery now! Mr. P is an awesome senior dog. He was kind of an asshole for the first six years… My recommendation is to adopt a senior doggie. That’s my future plan. Since i have committment issues, i might as well get a dog that is mellowed out, and needs a loving bed for just a few years… Damn the carpets, full speed ahead!

  6. I’m going to respectfully disagree. I’ve had problems that should’ve been addressed but just by ignoring them or, better yet, pretending they don’t exist, the found a way to resolve themselves. I think that’s a bit of a guy thing but it works.

    Will paperwork ever end? No. Only when we end will there be no more paperwork. Do what you can.

    I hope you’re kidding about yappy dogs living longer than big dogs. I was hoping the opposite would be true.

    It was a genuine pleasure to see you guys this year. I don’t know of a better-matched couple than you two. Here’s hoping you can swing by this way sometime in ’15.

    • Totally a guy thing, but i get the point. It wasn’t the finger that was the problem – it was the anxiety i had developed over it. Fearing surgery, going down every hypothetical rabbit hole possible, with some weird, horrible outcomes. Yeah, it’s weird. Over a bent finger. But i was worrying myself to distraction – not something i am prone to do. So that was really the fix for me…

      It will take until at least July before things are settled. i’ve made slow and steady progress since mid-september, and am clearing things a little at a time. There are some messy things on my shoulders, however. Mom left me some conundrums. She knew what she was doing, that’s for sure… Will be writing more about that as i get to it…

      Sorry. Your little ankle biter is going to probably be with you after your children go away to university. Until he has an unfortunate accident… [evil laugh].

      We’re still sorting travel for the year. Studley is going to need to have some work done on his knees, so that’s going to factor into things. We have a European trip planned for summer, and a few odds and ends here and there. And he might have a business trip out your way – and would enjoy meeting up if possible! We are a good pair…

  7. I think it was a successful year for yourself – esp given losing your Mum – that one always causes a pause/regression on one’s path but that is entire to be expected.

    Happy 2015 to you and Mr Pickles. He looks like I do when my daughter tries to get me into the Christmas Spirit with silly antlers, hats etc.

    • It was a good year. Turns out, i DO like the quarterly accountability – reporting my progress/regress through the year. i think it helps me stay on track. Considering doing a modified version for this year…

      We’ve been trying to get a good ‘antler’ shot on that dog for 10 years — he’s built for it. i had given up. My present to my children this year? Professional photos of their old pup – which were much appreciated. The photographer (one of my SCUBA buddies) did an amazing job – she got that shot within minutes! We’ve been wrestling him for years!

      Happy 2015 to you and your clan!

  8. you know i love you, doncha? here’s to an unfucked fucked up 2015 (i was thinking politics just then, damn my eyes), but i digress. here’s to you and yours! xoxoxxo

    • i adore you as well, ms. savannah! Hoping for the best (politically), but as you know, rational thinking is a lost art in our corner of earth! Happy 2015 to you and the Krewe! Xoxoxo

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