Synchronicity

“Hey, daisyfae!  Your Mom’s been here!”

Studley was on the lanai and grinning.  He had fixed our drinks and headed for the pool, as i finished the conversation with my sister, T, about the latest Trailer Park “scores and highlights”.

daisyfae:  What the hell are you talking about?

Studley:  Look!

On the concrete, next to T’s pool, was a single penny.

daisyfae:  You’re fucking with me, right?  You put that there!

Studley:  Nope.  Came out, set our drinks down and there it was…

daisyfae:  T!  Get out here!  Did you put this there?

Of course she hadn’t seen it.  Her partner, T, didn’t know anything about it either.  Her home is pristine and sparkly clean and modern.  Nothing out of place.  The penny had not been there earlier…

i was rattled.

Mom was a firm believer in “pennies from heaven” – the legend that states that when you lose a loved one, they will often throw you a penny when you need to find it.  A token to know that they are ok, and doing fine on the other side.

She almost got us both killed a few years ago chasing one such token.  We had taken Mom on a cruise to Alaska after Dad died, and she was at her peak “pennies are a sign from the afterlife” frenzy.

i’d rented a wheelchair for the trip because she’d lost a good bit of mobility by then.  Wheeling her across a street in Ketchican, Alaska, she suddenly put on the brakes, Fred Flintstone style.  Jamming her feet to the pavement, she said “There’s a dime!  It’s from your Dad!”

i looked up to see a tour bus headed directly for us.

daisyfae:  Mom, i can either pick up the dime or dodge the bus!

Her feet remained planted, and i snatched the dime from the street, popped a wheelie with the chair and avoided disaster.

My sister and i both remember Mom’s firm belief in the pennies from heaven.  T was rattled, too, and said that the kayak had recently been cleaned near that side of the pool, and perhaps that’s where it came from.

i grabbed my drink and got into the pool.  Studley had already jumped in, and lost his swim trunks.  He was still amused.  Shaking my head, i swam over to him and grabbed my drink.  To say that i was further rattled by what was on the can of Diet Coke holding my whiskey would be an understatement.

heads

There is a promotion by the Coca Cola corporation in the U.S. to randomly tag cans and bottles with names and nicknames – the “Share a Coke with…” campaign.  Of course this was random.

daisyfae:  i’m a fucking scientist…  i KNOW this is not a sign from the great beyond.  It is coincidence – confirmation bias.

Studley [still grinning]: Yep.  But you’re rattled, aren’t you?

daisyfae: ….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week later, i’d taken a day off of work to head to The Park to work estate-related issues.  That was the day my niece, DQ, surprised me with the little musical fella that Mom had asked her to give to me.

Arriving home, i was pretty beat.  Decided to park him on a decorative “table” i’d crafted from my Dad’s old steamer trunk.  The trunk that holds the few sentimental bits and pieces i’ve kept since he died.

Imagine my surprise to find a single fucking penny sitting on the trunk…  In the spot i had decided to park the music box….

tails

i am a scientist…. both by nature and by training.  i fully comprehend the concept of confirmation bias — we see what we expect to see.  Without a reservation, i can tell you that the penny must have been there for a month or more, and i just hadn’t noticed it.

But yeah… i was rattled…. again…

18 thoughts on “Synchronicity

  1. There is A LOT of confirmation bias in my life related to a friend that died six years ago. Eventually I learned to laugh and smile about it. It’s weirdly comforting too. Even though it’s meaningless coincidence, I like the idea that the universe works in those odd ways. In time, I hope you feel that way too.

    • that’s pretty much where i left it…. regardless of the ‘how’ or ‘why’, it triggers a moment of reflection, and there is some comfort there. nothing wrong with that!

  2. My first thought was that Studley is messing with you. My second thought is that I have a collection of feathers that I ascribe to my daughter.

    You can accept things that you can’t understand, without having to “believe” anything. Sometimes things just are. And the memory flash that accompanies these findings are welcome to me.

    Be well, DaisyFae. My thoughts are with you.

    • that sums it up pretty well…. i don’t question, freak out, or otherwise get myself jacked up about it. accept it. reflect upon it. smile. and move ever onward! ❤

  3. This is freaking me out a little bit because the day after my mom died, my sister was walking up her driveway and she picked up a penny that was minted the year my mom was born. How many pennies from 1935 do you suppose are still out there?

    • We see what we want to see, my dear… Sometimes, what we need to see. And most importantly, we REMEMBER the hits, not the misses. How many pennies has she picked up in her driveway on ordinary days? How many dates? These are forgotten…. We remember the ones that we ascribe meaning to… Oh, and your Mom was completely fucking with you…

  4. definitely confirmation bias… just like me bumping into my old counsellor half way up a mountain trail in the Lake District just as I’m thinking “I’ll stop going to AA now I’ve this new job, it’ll be too much time commitment given I’ll be commuting a lot further. Hell I don’t need it now” Just then my counsellor from rehab hoves into view grins, laughs, hugs me, recounts a quick summary of my life story and hugs me. I’d not seen him in 6 years… I went to a meeting and shared about this coincidence and that clearly it did not show that there is any divine being controlling the universe… 😉

  5. I love this, daisyfae! You might remember my tale about asking my folks for a “sign” in some form of the Oldsmobile 88 we had when I was a kid and finding it in a greeting card at a local shop I just happened to be browsing in, along with Christmas ornaments that looked exactly like the ones that had been stolen from our storage site just before my mom died. Whatever the official “explanation” may be, just sit back and enjoy. I’m thrilled for you. Really.

    • Absolutely remember that story! It flitted into my brain after i spotted the second penny! Like you, i’m not terribly hung up on the explanation for it, but i do find a bit of comfort – and a LOT of amusement – in this process! Suspect there will be more pennies ahead…

      • I had read your blog post to my husband just before we took our little dog for a walk at the park. We were waiting while our doggie was doing some sniffing and my husband pointed to a penny on the ground and said, “Look, daisyfae’s mom has been here.” That gal really gets around! 🙂

        • It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if she was sending you a penny…. As things start to unfold with the estate resolution, she really had all the bases covered. i have no doubt she was sending you a message to keep an eye on me! 😉

  6. The girl’s mom and grandmother were both fans of butterflies, when her mom passed she was sitting outside after the service and a butterfly landed on her leg, sat there a moment and then flew away… when her grandmother died she was walking down the street and we stopped for a second and a butterfly landed on her shoulder, i shit you not… now i don’t believe in much more than the three inches in front of my face but sometimes this big old universe is a mysterious place… even with science.

    • My sister, T and her partner were about 2 miles off shore in their boat, the weekend after Mom died. They were kinda surprised to see a butterfly stop in, land, and hang out for a little while… Like you, i’m not inclined to believe in much of the standard ‘hooey’, but understand that we see what we need to see, and can take comfort in that alone…

    • Yet another useless convention our founding fathers ripped off from the motherland… Well, effectively useless now – it costs more to produce them, and there’s almost more value in the metal content, than $0.01….

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