“Do you think your pup needs to go outside?”
“Nah! i took him out a couple of hours ago! He’s just being a pest!”
Studley and i went on about our project du jour, while my ancient dog continued to try to join the game. He eventually wandered off to the living room and we went on with our adventures. Only to be interrupted a few minutes later by the unmistakable sound of a torrent of urine* being unloaded onto carpet.
Rushing toward intervention i got him hooked to his leash and opened the front door so he could take the remainder out into the bushes. We came back inside, and the poor fella looked rather forlorn, knowing he wasn’t supposed to paint the rug.
Giving him a pat on the head, i assured him that it was ok, as i set about mopping up the mess.
“It’s ok, Buddy! You tried to tell us! Nothing more you could have done!”
i got out the SpotBot to do some extraction. Mr. Pickles sheepishly wagged his tail and looked a little less grim.
“You know, at his age? There really isn’t anything he can do to piss me off…”
i stopped dead in my tracks.
“Why don’t i feel the same way about Mom?”
Turns out? i do.
When i launched the blog back in 2008, one of my primary demons was my relationship with my mother. i was angry and resentful at her for the way she treated my father. i was frustrated by her history of ‘one bad damn decision after another’ – primarily in the arena of enabling my siblings to continue to make ‘one bad damn decision after another’. i could not comprehend her bitterness with life, given that the last half with Dad had been far better than the first half – and she never seemed to demonstrate gratitude for the gifts around her.
But i’ve since realized that her relationship with my father was/is none of my business. He understood and accepted her. Who am i to weigh in on that? Every decision she ever made regarding my siblings was made with love – she wanted to help. She was born bitter, and will die bitter, and there’s nothing that can change that. Her heart is generous, it just has a really thick crust on the outside. She’s done the best she could with what she’s been given.
i can honestly say – “At 84 years old, there is nothing my Mother can do to piss me off.”
* My dog has a phenomenal capacity for piss. Through the years, he has developed the ability to hold onto it for many hours. When he lets go? It’s Victoria Falls. In yellow…