Flu Survival Tips

Perhaps it’s because i had my children in daycare that i have developed the immune system of a cockroach.  i don’t get sick.  The last time i called off work for an actual* sick day was in 2007 when i had mono.

i left work Thursday afternoon with chills… and NOT because i was so enthralled with the work i’d accomplished.  Fever.  102 F when i got home.  Yay.  The Flu.

Maybe because it’s so infrequent, but when i do get sick?  i’m a big damn baby difficult patient.  i wish to be alone in my misery.  Friends have offered to bring me this or that, but i prefer to wallow in the solitary confinement of my sweat-drenched sheets.  Besides, moaning is so undignified…

The animals have been great company.  i’ve learned more about the differences between cats and dogs along the way.  While curled up on the floor of the bathroom on the fluffy bath mat, the cat came by to investigate.  He immediately discerned that i was in no condition to either (a) scratch him or (b) feed him.  So he knocked the bathroom scale into the bathtub and proceeded to make noise there, hoping i’d come around and make with the scratches and cat chow.

The dog, on the other hand, knows that when i’m down on the floor i want to play with him.  Bringing me all manner of gnarled bones, and gooey chew ropes, he felt compelled to pelt me with toys.  The sweet, slobbery bastard…

The fever may have finally broken.  Or not.  But i’m vertical after two days of mostly horizontal.  While these tips are fresh in my fever-addled brain, thought i’d do a gentle public service and share them.

DO:  Drink plenty of fluids.  Staying hydrated is essential to manage a fever.

DON’T: Drink leftover eggnog.  While it is technically a liquid?  It will curdle the moment it hits your roasting belly.  You will immediately regret it.

DO: Eat a little something when the fever drops.  Saltine crackers, light non-acidic fruit, or applesauce.

DON’T:  Bash a couple of Skyline** cheese coneys on the way back from a doctor’s appointment.  Oh, you will regret this later.  Very. Much.

DO:  Moan.  Loudly and as needed.  If you are feeling miserable, and the simple act of turning from your right side to your back is posing a grand challenge?  Let loose with a hefty groan.  Martial artists know the power of releasing visceral noise.  It isn’t just for Ninjas…

DON’T: Get irritated when your dog moans along.  He was born to sing.  He prefers a chorus part.  Don’t be a killjoy.

DO: Get fresh air.  Taking the dog on two short necessity walks each day is an opportunity to ‘blow the stink off’ and get crisp, clean, winter air into your lungs.

DON’T: Forget to put on something other than shorts.  While you’re rockin’ the snow boots and down jacket, exposed flesh in sub-freezing weather is generally a bad plan.

i miss nursemyra

delicious image found here

* As opposed to ‘anal glaucoma’ days – where i just can’t see my ass at work.  These happen on a fairly regular basis.

**  Skyline Chili is a regional delicacy.  Not so much chili as it is a Greek meat sauce, if you were raised on this yummy delight, it becomes the mother of all comfort food.  It also is quite disgusting on the return trip…

41 thoughts on “Flu Survival Tips

  1. Best not to eat much at all when you have a virus.
    Take one big mug, add

    The juice of a lemon.
    A tablespoon of honey,
    A teaspoon of grated ginger.
    A teaspoon of grated garlic.
    A pinch of Cayenne pepper.

    Fill mug up with hot water and drink it.
    This will make you sweat a lot it’s a little detox. 🙂

    • i have all of the ingredients – but i’m a little afraid of the cayenne pepper. fever is down today, but if it spikes tonight, this is going to be my bedtime cocktail!

    • it truly is food of the gods in these parts… had to get it out of the way before i get back to eating less toxic foods in the new year. feeling marginally better, but still not done with this… thing…. grrr…

  2. Another thing that is nice is to run a warm bath and soak in epsom salts for a bit. Make sure you have plenty of fluids right next to you as you do this. It helps get out the toxins and also it helps to feel clean when you have been sweating with fever and all the intestinal fun.

    Make sure the bath is not too hot or you may find that you can’t get out of the tub when you are done because you are so enervated.

    • this is another item on my list for tonight if i havent shaken it yet. there is a new years eve party in my future and i must be up for dancing in the new year! burning he toxins out is perhaps necessary…

  3. Also, if at all possible, send your children to daycare even if they have a mild fever – yay children’s ibuprofen – because nothing sucks more than having to look after them when you’re sicker than they are!

  4. better soonest, sugarpie! thanks for the tips, too. seems the MITM has decided that the best time to get sick is RIGHT-FUCKING-NOW, a day before my goddamn birthday! *sigh* xoxoxoxox

    • oh, no! sorry he’s got a bug – hoping it’s just a mild one. this thing has knocked me down for a few days and i’m tired of it! take care, and let the party get started! xoxo

    • i believe i understand this ‘man flu’ thing far too well… i am a horrid patient, moan and whine endlessly, and cannot stand to be attended to whilst in my misery. despite a fairly high tolerance for actual pain, i don’t like being sick. there is a difference…

  5. Aaah. It is less than four hours to the New Year here so I really, really hope you have this unwellness thing beaten.
    I have decided that the New Year will find its way without me waiting up for it – but it does need stalwarts like you to show it a good time.
    Better soonest – and have a wonderful party. The New Year wouldn’t recognise itself without you.

    • i shook off the fever in time to proceed with dance party plans – but avoided virtually all alcohol and was a useful designated driver. medication and alcohol are a bac plan! here’s to a better 2013 for you my dear!

  6. There’s the old Irish cure as well: put your hat on the end bedpost, and go to bed. Drink nips of whisky until you see two hats. Go to sleep.

    Hope you can shake it off before seeing New Year in anyway. Happy New Year. A clinking glass will be raised in a westwards direction for you tonight my dear X

    • something to be said for the drink, but i ended up staying clear of anything stronger than water – and was a reasonable driver. in the US, we consider New Year’s Eve “Amateur Night”, and leave the heavy drinking to those who don’t get out much… far too many opportunities to end up arrested, or in a ditch. Cheers to you, good sir, and wishing you a lovely 2013! i continue to admire your approach to life!

  7. Mono. That figures. No further comment on that.

    I love your cat. I love all cats.

    I just saw a play starring Katie Holmes. The playwright is from Cincy and the story is set there. She features Skyline cheese coneys and all sorts of other regional delicacies and references.

    Under certain circumstances, moaning can be good, too? Right? That’s what I hear.

    You need Nurse M. [Ooops. I see someone beat me to that.]

    • My cat wants to eat me when i die. i know that. he knows that. it keeps us both on good terms.

      Pity that Katie Holmes screwed up that play — maybe it could get good regional action? i may have to look it up and throw it around to some of the local theater groups. Any play that includes Skyline can’t totally suck!

      yes. good moaning. when i’m on the other side of this loogie-fest, there will be good moaning. not quite yet. and i TOTALLY miss nursemyra… 😦

  8. Pah! what you really need hen is something good and hot inside of you, 48 hours on the golden swally, a few hours dancing and then a rubdown with a good stiff brush. Plenty of life left in us oul wans yet! Your turn in the tub at the tap end by the way. Ooops, dropped the soap… I’m going in.

    • Oh, there you go again…setting my registers to “steam”. i had just shaken off the fever! And what are you? Over 6 feet tall? We’re gonna need a bigger tub… i can handle the tap… So long as you keep breathin’ through yer ears, we’ll be just fine!

  9. Flu sucks big ones, and blows big ones too, glad you’re on the mend.. Once upon a time when I lived in Ohio, I was baffled at the love of both Skyline and the Gold Star chili’s. But then again I also scrapped a White Castle Burger off of my tongue out of pure disgust. It’s definitely a regional food thing.

    • One of my friends commented that the only thing worse than Skyline would have been White Castle “Slyders”. Have to agree… i can eat a couple of those, but the grease eventually makes my body shut down!

  10. Drink more Guinness and you’ll never have this problem again, i think… and as for that daycare debacle, all parents do it and i used to walk in and get pissed when i saw a kid who was obviously ill but then i’ve sent the boyos packing with a low grade and dose of kiddie dope as well, felt guilty as hell about it (and as we know i don’t really feel guilty about anything) but it’s done and it doesn’t matter cuz a daycare is like a petri dish crawling with disease, if you read the studies kid’s will be healthier later in life due to the fact they’ve been exposed to all the shit, hell the I-mac’s like a tank, kid hardly ever gets sick and when he does his old man actually notices… and then runs from him so he doesn’t get it… yes i’ll accept my father of the year award now.

    • with all of the alcohol in my system, i’m fairly amazed that the flu didn’t run like hell from me…

      yeah, both of my kids have had relatively good health through the years – once they were over the initial five years of nearly constant sickness. my favorite part about sick kids? getting thrown up on…. that is a realm of disgusting that i hope to never visit again. grandchildren? screw that…. their parents can take their karma, thankyouverymuch!

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