Operation “WhiteBird”

The plan was hatched last month.  My sister, T, and her partner, TK, finished renovations on their beautiful home in Florida.  They wanted to find a way for Mom to visit, but Mom would not fly alone.

TK is a frequent flier, and needed to rack up a few more segments to maintain her “AssKiss Preferred” traveler status.  She offered to fly up in the morning, pick up Mom, and fly back with her the same day, giving Mom a week in sunny south florida.

My job?  Picking up Mom and delivering her to the airport.  Knowing that i would need a ‘gate access pass’ to get her through security in a wheelchair, i enlisted Studley to help with transport.

Yesterday was the big day!  We had agreed to stay in touch by text, doing group messaging to keep all members of the team on track.  By 7:00 am, T had gotten the ball rolling… With T, her partner TK, and her sister KK in the loop, we made it happen!  Game on!

Follow along and see if you can figure out what was happening.  This went on for about 16 hours!


T:  Plan in execution.  TK is Giraffe, KK is Zebra, T is Lion, Mom is
WhiteBird.  Daisyfae is?

T:  Giraffe is at gate.

TK: Giraffe is on plane and ready to take off toward Motherland.

daisyfae: daisyfae is Moose.  Moose is scratching her ass, playing “Angry Birds” and having coffee.

T:  Lion snagged pumpkin pie ice cream for breakfast.

KK:  Zebra just finished morning gallop.  What time is Giraffe’s return flight?

daisyfae:  Giraffe and WhiteBird return 9:40pm.  Moose and Squirrel
(Studley) will update on launch from Motherland.

T:  10-4

TK:  Giraffe has landed in Motherland.  Beautiful day!

T:  Giraffe went to watering hole. Sign says “Dry til 1:00pm”.  Shitty

TK:  When will Moose arrive with WhiteBird?

daisyfae: Moose and Squirrel inbound to pick up WhiteBird.  Will send
smoke signal on next leg of safari.*

TK:  Roger.  Out.

daisyfae:  Moose and Squirrel have WhiteBird in hand.  Repeat.
WhiteBird inbound! Smoke signal on arrival at aviary to arrange Giraffe

daisyfae: At curb.  Squirrel out for recon.

TK:  Giraffe is with Moose, Squirrel and WhiteBird!  Headed to feed.

daisyfae:  Found oasis near aviary.  Negotiating terms of hostage
transport over wings and beer.

TK:  Cleared Checkpoint Charley with WhiteBird and Moose.  Waiting at

T:  Lion guarding tropical bird nest.

daisyfae:  Moose taking WhiteBird to litter box after Giraffe returns
from provisioning at aviary snack shop.  Squirrel waits in parking lot,
protecting “Angry Birds” from green pigs.

T:  yee-HAW!

daisyfae:  Moose and Squirrel northbound.  Giraffe and WhiteBird
preparing to board magic carpet to Lion.*

TK:  WhiteBird and Giraffe on magic carpet waiting for the rest of the
animals to settle.  Moose and Squirrel did a great job handing over the


T:  Stand by, Zebra.  WhiteBird is about to fly.

TK:  Magic carpet engines ON!  WhiteBird and Giraffe are buckled in
and headed to tropical nest.

T:  Left gate early.  ETA now 9:30pm

KK:  Flight tracker ETA 9:10.  Tailwind.

daisyfae:  Moose and Squirrel back at Northern Command Post.

T:  Zebra with Lion at tropical nest.  Awaiting arrival signal.

TK:  Carpet ride is over.  En route to meet Zebra and Lion after
collecting gear.

KK:  Zebra in motion.

T:  Giraffe – report location

TK:  Still at gate.

T:  Zebra and Lion waiting safely in Ant Hill.  Ready to deploy.

TK:  Have goods.  To curb for retrieval.

KK:  Zebra is moving.

daisyfae:  Moose has vodka tonic.

T:  We have WhiteBird.  Repeat: WhiteBird reunited with Lion!

daisyfae:  Mission Accomplished!

* While i was driving, Studley served as communication officer.  Messages marked with an “*” are all his…

44 thoughts on “Operation “WhiteBird”

  1. Not to be too picky, but shouldn’t your mom ‘s call sign be “leopard.” !
    Brilliant and funny! More families should do this. In fact, more air travellers should. Go! Gran’ma! Er…lion.

  2. Tango-Oscar-Oscar Delta-Alpha-Mike-November Foxtrot-Uniform-November-November-Yankee!!!!!
    Lima-Oscar-Victor-Echo Tango-Hotel-Echo Sierra-Papa-Echo-Charlie-India-Alpha-Lima Oscar-Papa Sierra-Tango-Yankee-Lime-Echo!

    • Lion doesn’t have your military exposure! Suspect you could have put us all to shame! Studley was extraordinary – Hazardous Duty pay for dealing with my fucked up family, too!

  3. I’m sure you have the NSA and Homeland Security with their panties in a twist trying to figure out what sort of terrorist plot you people were hatching. Way to go, and way to have fun! have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

    • suspect they are still too busy digging in the general’s undercrackers to be paying much attention to a bunch of drunken louts coping with family logistics on a holiday week! thanksgiving is on the way, and my defense mechanisms are prepared for full deployment! with mom in FL for Thursday’s event? i’m TOTALLY off the hook with the Trailer Park crew! SCORE!

    • delighted to serve, akacat! we sent a lovely post-visit gift to our friend up north, in hopes that he had as much fun as we did, and that we can score a return opportunity! i really want to lift some logs! things weren’t set up to do it that day, but he said it could be worked, knowing that we are industrial equipment junkies!

    • Yes, she’s staying through Thanksgiving! T and TK are bringing the meal to her, with TK’s extended family descending upon the homestead for a glorious feast! For the past 10 years, Mom hasn’t had that “home cooked Thanksgiving” from our past, and i suspect she’s going to be itching to go back next year. they are spoiling her rotten, fussing over her like royalty, and i’m hoping that this is the highlight of the year for her! This is the first time Mom has been to visit T in over 10 years…

    • T is a Leo, hence the Lion. TK (her partner) is tall, thin and incredibly athletic – hence the Giraffe. TK’s sister? She is also athletic, and runs in a black and white striped get up. Mom? Shockwhite hair! Therefore, WhiteBird. Me? Large, slow-moving and likely to do damage to your car if you run into me on the highway. Studley? Well, Moose and Squirrel go together well (Rocky and Bullwinkle), but he is quite industrious! 🙂

  4. Thank you for the gut ripping laughter. it was too much for my little pup to take, he had to come give me kisses because he thought there was something wrong with me. Best thing I’ve read all day. Surprisingly I completely got all the references for the names. Awesome stuff. How fun to turn a potentially stressful situation into a fun narrative.

    • Happy Thanksgiving, Lady! Sorry to have confused your pup, but delighted that you were tracking! We did the reverse operation today – Moose drove back to the Aviary to retrieve WhiteBird, and Giraffe returned to the Tropical Nest where Lion cooked up some turkey soup. Squirrel? He had to work today….

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