A former protegé is back in town, after living overseas for a few years. As he is getting re-acquainted with our small-town vibe, i’ve been inviting him along on my recent adventures – and he was at the masquerade ball last weekend.
He’s incredibly bright, but occasionally a bit… brash. Last night, i was eating my favorite beverage, a fine Fin du Monde ale (9% abv) while suffering through watching the final presidential debate. For some reason, my Bullshit Tolerance Factor was surprisingly low.
This exchange on the book of faces happened in nearly real-time… While my young ‘un was on a business trip to Colorado…
G-Man: It’s nice to be back in a state with thin/fit people.
daisyfae: Screw you! Us midwestern “Fluffies” are just full of candy corn and peanuts this time of year…
G-Man: LOL
daisyfae: Oh, and “Screw You**2” — this 50-year-old fat chick out-danced you Saturday night. Word.
G-Man: How are you fat?
daisyfae: Makin’ with the sweet-talkin’ now? i drink my weight in Jack Daniels and can eat my way through a Hibachi Buffet leaving a trail of flaming chopsticks… THAT’S how i’m fat…
G-Man: I was referring to this map…Relax.
daisyfae: You can’t grow corn or raise pigs on a mountain. Those scrawny-ass Coloradians need Doritos and bacon!
G-Man: Mmmm….Doritos and bacon. ::drool::
I’m quite certain you’re not fat. You might feel like you are, but I bet you aren’t. In any case, I’m glad you gave him a good bitch slap. He sounds like he had it coming.
According to BMI? i’m obese. At the moment, i can’t argue. Winter weight came on early this year, since i was too involved in other stuff to get on the bicycle on a regular basis. Need to fix that this winter. When i stop exercising, i puff up like a marshmallow…. And yeah. He had it coming!
bless his heart! xoxoxoxox
isn’t it cute when they’re young and know everything?!?!?
NO!
(By the way, you can tell SMcR I recognised his kilted knees!)
i shall pass that along! the man rocks the kilt, doesn’t he?
Not only am I glad you slapped him, I hope that you enjoyed it. And would contemplate slapping him on a regular whether he needs it or not basis. A stitch in time or some such rubbish.
Yep. This one needs the occasional wake-up call… He’s a great human, a kind and generous soul. Just a little rough around the edges on occasion. Maybe sand paper?
Mmmmm, pork
“(Lisa) “I’m going to become a vegetarian”
(Homer) “Does that mean you’re not going to eat any pork?”
“Yes”
“Bacon?”
“Yes Dad”
Ham?”
“Dad all those meats come from the same animal”
“Right Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal!””
You had me at bacon …….
My sister cooked up some candied bacon a few weeks ago. i woke up on monday dreaming about it. i need to get in the kitchen…
Candied bacon?
OH.MY.CHOLESTEROL!
(I have got to find that recipe!)
this is pretty close to what she used, i think. it was sticky, gooey, yummy and addictive!
http://www.exclusivelyrecipes.com/Recipes/Appetizers/candied%20bacon.html
Doritos and bacon? That, and some homemade brew, will be something to test out at our party this weekend. Thanks for the great idea!
Hi Herman! Thanks for stopping by! i’m not actually all that fond of Doritos, but you’ll have to fight me for the bacon! My favorite food group!
You are far from fat…slap him again! 😉
He wasn’t actually calling me fat… just making observatons on the increasingly chubby demographic in our lovely country. but you’re right. i think i’ll slap him again just because…