What’s Missing?

Sweet summer evening, sitting out on the patio of a favorite local drinking establishment with my friend, Studley McRocklegs.  After the crushing heat of June and July, we’ve hit this amazing run of high-pressure blue skies, low humidity, and perfect temperatures. 

We were waiting on the rest of the Tuesday night crew to show up. i tipped back in my chair, listening to the sound of a slow train rumbling by, and looking at the Charlie Brown clouds in a dusky evening sky.  

My brain, in an unusual state of quiet, asked me the following question: “What’s missing?” 

Studley was off in his own brain somewhere, when i tweaked him with the thought experiment.

daisyfae:  OK.  i’m going to ask you a question, and i want you to answer with the first thing that pops into your head.  No filters.  Ready?

Studley:  Let ‘er rip!

daisyfae:  What’s missing?

Studley: In my life?

daisyfae:  What popped into your head?

Studley [tiny puffs of steam coming out of his ears]:  A jumble… Lots of things…

daisyfae:  Start to untangle it.  What’s on top?

Studley:  This sounds too new agey, but “inner peace”

daisyfae:  You’re restless?  Not settled?

Studley:  I’m just not through it yet… Still sorting some things out. 

daisyfae:  What else is there?

Studley:  Absolute financial security.  But I guess no one has that…

daisyfae:  What else?

Studley:  Ummm…  Better health?  That’s about it, I think… Maybe a dog. 


The answer provided by my brain, almost instantaneously:  “Nothing.”

i told him what my brain said in response… and noted that it seemed to take him awhile to come up with his list… which is probably pretty telling by itself.

So, my dear imaginary friends who live inside my laptop…

How would you answer the question:  What’s missing?

69 thoughts on “What’s Missing?

  1. What is missing in my life is enough money to pay a lawn service to mow and weed eat this place so Jim would not have to kill himself doing it. I know that sounds petty, but we really aren’t missing on a lot of the most important things like love, health and security.

    • when it’s the relatively small stuff – although the fact that he’s got to work like a demon to maintain the grounds isn’t that small – then you know you’re doing ok…

  2. Health. No question. But I suspect the gift of black humour was my trade off. And probably a fair exchange.

    There are a lot of things I would like, but nothing really I need. So at the end of the day I am pretty lucky – health issues and all.

    • Ah, health. That’s the one that can send everything else completely out of balance… appreciate the difference between things you’d like vs things you need

      and black humour is a gift…

  3. I love that your brain said “nothing”. It was such a lovely moment. You were just soaking it all in, at peace with the universe.

    I’d have to go with “peace”. I’m always worried about something – the kids, work. I’m good at finding things to worry about even when there really isn’t anything. Definitely peace.

    • it was quite nice… it’s only for now, but i’m enjoying it while i have it…

      anxiety is a pesky little bugger, isn’t it? the key (for me) is when my kids are in a reasonbly good space… between health and worries about the critters, those are the two that can quickly derail my “nothing”.

    • this year, instead of a bonus, i asked my boss if she could give me even more vacation time. and she did. because if you’ve got enough money to meet the basic needs, time is FAR more important…. and yeah, i’d guess you know where that answer came from….

    • thanks. it’s a work in progress… taken by an artist friend a couple years ago. it’s being digitally modified (he’s done some work already), but the idea was for him to capture ‘me’. he does one a year among his friends, and is hoping to finish this one sometime this year. says it’s taking longer because he got derailed writing a book. hope that’s it, and that it’s not because i need that much work!

      i just want those arms back… hence the upper body workouts.

    • yep. a portrait in progress. a friend does these – has them in large (4′ x 6′) format all through his home… been a work in progress for a couple years, but i like it so far… and those arms? not digitally altered. i need those back.

  4. Love with me too. Not that I feel unloved in the slightest, but it would be nice to just have someone who could make both me and her more than the sum of us individually.

  5. well I could say Stephen but that’s a given. He will always be missing now.

    But on a brighter note, my life is no longer missing an animal. As of yesterday I am now the proud owner of a rescue cat. A 10 year old black eyed Siamese with a snaggle tooth. His name is Parker Brown!

  6. Not much, to be honest. I’ve learned that the secret of life is learning to live with what you can’t rise above. One really big thing that I won’t put in your comment section that I think you’re aware of.

    nurse: So happy to hear of your new arrival. An excellent name. I hat two Siamese for 15 years. They were my bestest pals.

    • Don’t know if I’m defective, lucky, or some combination of the two… But I have evolved to live without romantic love. May be only for now, but I do recognize that is a most basic need for most humans… Hope you find it… Or it finds you!

  7. I hate to sound materialistic but I really want a computer other than my phone. I have just been trying to reply to comments on my blog using my phone and it’s so frustrating. I think I can maybe afford to get a Mac lap top in January. That’s what I’m aiming at, I’ve never had a new computer so I figure I may as well get what I really want.

    That’s the premier mundane want; of course the wish for peace, inner and outer, underlies everything.

    • the work you do using just your cell phone camera proves to me that the art is in the eye of the artist – not the equipment! but, that said, it’s quite reasonable for you to want something that would expand your operating space AND make your life easier!

      i’ll likely be upgrading computers sometime in the new year. if that mac doesn’t happen, i’m gonna look into shipping a gently used Toshiba to Australia…

  8. a college degree. the first thing that popped in my mind. Though I am working on it..slowly but working. Otherwise. little things that are easily fixed that are more day by day things that you discover your missing..(my kids, my little doggie Max who died very unexpectedly while we were on vacation, but more often then not it turns out to be my mind that’s missing altogether)

  9. I’m with Fragrant. The first thing that popped up was Love. But then my brain answered itself and said ‘but you’re loved lots’ – sadly, I think me brain was talking about me loving me (and get your minds out of the gutter). 🙂

    • love is all around… and you are an incredibly lovable woman, ms. kate! and i’ll try hard not to stay in the gutter… but you know it’s my comfort zone! xoxo

  10. The first thing I thought of was more patience and understanding.
    But then I thought …. SLEEP.
    (Little Mans PDD-NOS keeps me on my toes!)

    But really?
    I wake up on this side of the dirt daily, I have 2 beautiful boys who are healthy (relatively), and I have wonderful people in my life (real and cyber worlds) who help keep me centered.

    Love that picture of you Ms. Daisyfae!
    Sexy lady ….

    • ahhh… another mom with a special needs critter. you DO need sleep… and a few extra hugs.

      but i get the ‘nothing’. sure, there are moments, things that i lust for, momentary gaps in my life. but ‘really? Nothing.” yep.

      i added the puzzle part of the shot, and there’s more work the artist is going to perform on that photo, but it’s coming along well… will be really weird to see it full size (these portraits are huge)…

    • Hi Nifty – thanks for stopping by! Do you mean “Great Sense of Humour” or “General State of Health”? In either case, it’s a tough thing to have missing in your life…

      • Hi Daisyfae

        I think I meant Good State of Health.

        It seems like like it was only yesterday (but was at least a decade or two) ago that I scorned my mother’s words:
        ‘Nifty, you should take things more easily, you’ll wear yourself out’.

        After more years than I would care to remember of living with a clapped-out body that can be a pain to exist in, I have come to understand what she was talking about.
        So now, a good sense of humour is absolutely imperative:)

      • we’re all one phone call away from day time nightmares. good health is pretty much the foundation of all else we do. i do admire those who are dealing with various broken and misfiring body parts, and still manage to be optimistic about what lies ahead!

        here’s to better health, and continued good humour!

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