Driving me nuts…

There has been virtually no progress on the renovations to Mom’s house over the summer.  My niece, DQ has taken extended holidays, disappearing to Florida for about six weeks.  Her husband, BJ, who is responsible for getting the work done, was gone for three of those weeks as well. 

They have also spent a lot of time on the weekends “goin’ off road” in their 4-wheeled mud vehicle down in the hollers of Tennessee. Doesn’t leave much time for work to get done on the house. 

Especially when BJ has to work other jobs to pay the bills – which keep mounting with each additional vacation they take!  DQ and the spawn spend it faster than it can be earned…

Mom vetoed my idea to jump-start the process by getting quotes from others.  She is simply concerned that if DQ and BJ get pissed off, they will say “Fine, we don’t want the house!  Go find some other family members to take you in…”.

There is nothing that can be done to make this happen.  i stopped discussing it with Mom when she said “All this talk is going to make me have a stroke”. 

Got it.  Standing down, Momma.  Just don’t complain to me again about the fact that it’s been two years since the renovations started…

Seems that the 16 year-old, DQ, Jr. now has her driving permit – and of course, despite her complete lack of interest in getting a job and their perpetually stretched financial situation, they bought her a car.  Makes perfect sense!

Mom was unexpectedly bright and cheery when i spoke with her last night – a nice change!  She’d been pretty gloomy after they left her to take care of their two smelly hounds while they played in Florida.

When i asked what she’d been up to, she rattled off all of the places she’s been going – with DQ, Jr. at the wheel!  While driving on a learners permit, she is limited to daytime driving only, and must have a licensed driver in the car with her at all times.  Never mind the fact that the kid has only been behind the wheel of a car for about a dozen hours.  No formal training yet, either. 

Who am i to mention that Mom hasn’t been licensed to drive for about four years?  


This isn’t going to end well.  But Mom has really been enjoying the rides in the car…

more ‘dogs in car’ photos here…

Hoping DQ, Jr. remembers to crack a window if she leaves Mom in the car on a hot day…

31 thoughts on “Driving me nuts…

  1. Maybe getting out and about is just the thing she needs right now. My mother hated giving up her car at age 89 and yet she doesn’t want me taking her any place except grocery shopping every other week, even though I’ve offered to chauffeur her where ever she wanted to go. If Mama is happy…

    • which is exactly why i will not call out the obvious problem. my concern is that DQ, Jr. is going to run off the road into a tree because she’s driving with the music too loud (Mom mentioned that) and probably texting, or talking on the phone while driving (because they are simply that dense)…

      but she was downright chipper this week… cannot argue with that… (sigh)

  2. the weather is turning moderate. i’m sure she’d be fine in the car if DQ, Jr. left a bowl of water and some grandma treats. though her scratching pitifully at the window as strangers passed by the car may get a little annoying.

    • She shut down my plan, pretty much, because she was afraid they’d kick her out if they got mad. i suggested we could finish the house, and hire professional support, but she said she likes having people around all the time.

      she chose this. i will not ‘rock the boat’…

  3. What I don’t understand is how DQ and BJ can stand the chaos of the uncomplete renovations. But I guess that comes under the heading of Hillbilly Logic.

    We should be careful about dissing people who want it now and feel they deserve it when our very own government seems to be running on the exact same logic.

    • they are living in a house next-door. owned by BJ’s whacknut parents, BJ and DQ rent it from them… which has become awkward because the mother has waged war against DQ over money (surprise), so there’s the threat of eviction to add to the drama…

      they house they are in is fine, so there’s no raging pressure to complete the job. mom is now out of the living room, moved to the back bedroom that used to belong solely to the 3 year old a couple months ago…

  4. Maybe little one is a natural driver. Maybe owning the car is good for her self esteem. Maybe she’ll use it to help with getting herself a job.
    Pretty cool that your mum is enjoying herself.
    None of which is to say that I don’t understand your frustration. x

  5. Reading this in my home state somehow makes it just a little more real. Especially after a few days of listening to similar stories of relatives and ancestors. It probably won’t end well, but there will likely be a good story to tell at the reunion.

    • i’m letting it all bounce. focused on the fact that mom is momentarily happy, and looks forward to getting out of bed in the morning. when the kid starts school again, it might be a different story. oh, and when she gets her permanent license? suspect she won’ t be haulin’ granny to the WalMarts…

  6. And all this while mom is still sleeping in the living room? Is that correct?

    Obviously, you family doesn’t read this blog. Right? I’ve got some high octane family stories as well, but since they all peek in over at my place, I don’t dare write about them. The good posts wouldn’t be worth the fallout.

    • my niece moved the 3 year old in with the 16 year old a couple months ago, so mom finally got her own room…

      i have no idea if they read it. honestly? they know how i feel about all this – i’ve been quite direct. i’m sure it would cause some serious drama if it hit, but i’ve been pretty detached for the past couple years… wouldn’t want to go looking to cause mom headaches, though.

      • it took a couple years, but BJ broke his back in a work-related accident, and they managed to pull a settlement out of it. but after they paid off the legal fees, and paid back all of the workmens compensation that he’d been paid while recuperating, there wasn’t as much as they hoped. they burned through that pretty quickly – paying off the old credit card debt, then buying all new furniture and a bunch of motorized toys (the off-roader). rather than save any of it, it’s all been spent, and i believe they are racking up more credit card debt again.

        not my business. i do not believe they are spending mom’s money. she hasn’t told them where it all is…

    • that’s the mentality. a truck (for BJs work), an SUV for DQ, Mom’s old land yacht for hauling many people, and now a used compact for DQ, Jr. We NEEEEEED four cars (although in fairness to them, mom won’t let go of her cruiser). the new car has to cost $200/month, plus another $100/month for insurance and at least $100/month in gas.

      they must have an ATM printing cash down there somewhere…

  7. Someone oughta tell the crew about Austerity Measures. Greece, then Ireland, and the rest of us aren’t far behind! I am personally going to have a party if your Mom’s rennovations ever get completed.

    • when DQ’s first husband went to the state penitentiary, and they had an upside down second mortgage (at 13%) plus about $45K in credit card debt, i tried to explain the concept of basic math – as in “you can NEVER dig out of this. declare bankruptcy now while the court will look kindly upon you given your circumstances”. 18 months later, after my mom and sister had spent approximately $27K of their own cash attempting to fix this, DQ declared Bankruptcy.

      austerity measures? one has to be able to do basic math to understand this concept…

      i’ll come to that party, by the way.

  8. Her decision, I suppose. And if she’s happy with it, then letting it go seems to be your best option. Still, when Christmas rolls around, you might award them with a plank, a hammer, and a jar of nails. Or maybe you can entice them with a vacation package to mud flats contingent on their completion of the renovation.

    • if i give anyone a plank for christmas? it would take far more restraint than i posess to not deliver it in a gigantic, energetic SWING!

      incentive? why? they are already doing pretty much anything they want, whenever they want to… how could i incentivize them?

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